Grafitti artist on a ladder with his back to us painting a giant mural. 

Mana Pasifika

Monty shares his inspiring story through depression and the creative outlets he uses to better his mental wellbeing.

Monty shares his inspiring store of his journey through depression and the creative outlets he uses to better his mental wellbeing. 

Mana Pasifika: Monty's Journey with Depression | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Monty Shares his Journey with Depression

I am Monty Collins,
I am the director of SDO Custom Designs
and we're based out here in Mangere, South Auckland.
We're basically a company that does logos, murals
and uniforms and garments, basically anything.
I think for the first Covid, that was a stressful time
There was potential business happening
Everything was starting to flow
and then (snap)
all of a sudden, you’re getting notices, like emails
"sorry we can't do this", "sorry we can't do this",
"sorry we can't do this".
For us, well, for me personally
I just had to sit in my corner
and in my own little mind space and
somewhat, just look past it
and just realize, look, everyone is going through a hard time.
Me personally, I got depression so,
it didn’t help, you know like, my business,
my artwork, is my stress relief
and to hear that potential business was going
that stressed me out.
The things that went through me head were
my family,
food,
rent,
especially rent, you know.
At the same time, just working on what we can do
so we started doing preorders for hoodies and all that stuff
and it was really good
that helped put some, ease that, there’s still potential out there.
Our people we're, we are vocal
but we're not emotionally vocal or mentally vocal.
When I say mentally vocal,
I think the words depression, mental health,
mental illness is not in our vocab
You know how it is, it's basically like
Toughen up, you know, blah blah
but they don’t realize that it’s an actual condition
and some people, even though they toughen it out
sometimes they don't live to see the next day,
cause it just gets too much,
and I've lost a few friends from it
purely because either
one, they don’t want to put on their act that they need help,
two, they don’t know who to talk to,
three, they've just changed so much because
of the metal state that they've had
that they hide, you know and then
if you don't keep in contact with those ones
you will never see them again.
I think there should be a massive awareness about
peoples mental state
especially within the lockdown and the stresses of,
expensive housing and minimum wage and
just getting food on the table
is sometimes stressful for people.
It's the reason why I want to do my bit
within this campaign
and express it the way I know how to
and that's with art.
I've been given a wall out in Otara
and certain cultures, a Tiki is somewhat a symbol of strength
and what I've done there is I've done a laughing Tiki
saying cheers, with the kava cup
because the kava bowl is utilized as a
device for conversation amongst men
it's the way men communicate back in the day
You know, clap twice you get another cup
makes it easier to talk
the waves represent Covid and the hardships
that everyone's going through
and basically, what I am trying to portray is that
there's always light at the end of the tunnel
just gotta stand strong and communicate more with your families.

The Lowdown

In 'A Body Apology', 16-year-old Angelina Faupula addresses the struggles that we face to accept our bodies with their flaws and differences, the impact of a society that tells us that only their version of 'perfect' is acceptable. 

In 'A Body Apology', Angelina Faupula addresses the struggles that we face to accept our bodies with their flaws and differences, the impact of a society that tells us that only their version of 'perfect' is acceptable.

A Body Apology - Angelina Faupula | The Lowdown Aotearoa

A Body Apology - Angelina Faupula

Iho u’afa sisu kalaisi
in his name 
formless yet formed us 
in his image

But the image I see is not what I like 
And these thighs i see are too big 
And this face i have is not small enough 
And the stomach that I have is not small enough
Expect me to trust a mirror that only sees skin deep 
A mirror that responds only with what it sees 
But doesn’t learn how i've carried myself 

Confusion stench 
Wondering why people mock 
Gods greatest creation 
Judgemental outcomes of envious lions 
And tigers claw scratches 
On our hips 

The reflection of the sea 
Embedded deeply into my skin 
That rips through 
This sacred temple 

Sacred 
‒‒a word only given to women 
To hide the fact they do not want you to see all of them 
Tremble in fear incase giving pieces of them will break a part of us 

To camouflage this God given gift 
they replace with hate they have for this body 
The same body that's carried the weight of my heart 
Even when my legs were giving up 

But even still
We criticise this imperfection that makes even the angels jealous 
My body scarred with more comment than scars 
I’ve apologised more times in my head then i have out loud 
But i get you’ve never gotten an official apology 

So I apologise to this body that was made by god
But still somehow not made to feel like it was enough
I apologise to this body for the moments I have forgotten to give gratitude
To the quiet times it has held me up

I apologise to this body for all the lies that I took as truths

My body is not an apology
And I will no longer apologise

Tapu Vā

Brown Girls Have Sex Too creator and sexual health educator Anatola joins us to talanoa more about her mahi facilitating safe spaces for conversations around sexual health. She shares more about her interview with RenewsNZ, in which she addresses misconceptions about the hymen and debunks sex myths like the white sheet ceremony, which have been practised in some Tongan and Kiribati communities since colonial times and more. Anatola also encourages more young Pasifika women to consider roles in sexual health spaces because there is such a demand for them in the field.

Tapu Vā - Anatola

A group of Pasifika from the 09’ Tāmaki Makaurau join us to talanoa about sexual health. They cover a wide range of topics, including some common Pasifika myths and their relationship with colonialism, their own experiences with ‘the talk’ and the sexual toxic traits prevalent in our Pasifika sports communities. The group also delves into an overarching theme of changing the narrative surrounding how Pasifika approach sexual health, as well as some ideas for removing the stigma or tapu from the subject so it can be openly talked about.

Tapu Vā - Auckland Talanoa

We’re joined by Matt, who gives us insights about his mahi as a sexual health promoter for Te Kaha O Te Rangatahi. Matt shares about the concept of consent and how it should be addressed more often because it can be a grey area in our Pasifika communities. Matt emphasises the importance of discussing healthy communication and relationships in order to create that vā, that ‘safe space’ for whānau and future generations. He also has a special message at the end for his teenage self about sexual health.

Matt, a sexual health promoter from Te Kaha O Te Rangatahi, shares insights on promoting sexual health in Pasifika communities. Learn about consent, healthy communication, and creating safe space for whānau and future generations.

Tapu Vā: Matt Talks Sexual Health | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Tapu Vā - Matt

We talanoa with sexual health promoter Samora about her upbringing and her own experience with coming out as her authentic self. She shares her expertise on the relationship between sexual health and Pasifika culture, highlighting how thoughts and attitudes around the connection between the two are strongly influenced by faith, pride and image. Samora also shares some important advice for Pasifika parents who are interested in learning more.

Tapu Vā - Samora

Three Pasifika District Health Board workers from Hastings join us to share their views on sexual health. They talanoa about the idea of reframing cultural beliefs, such as the Samoan word ‘tautua’ (service to aiga or any individual to a greater cause), in a way that suits sexual health, the difference between discussing the topic with parents vs. schoolmates and the barriers to discussing sexual health within your whānau, as well as ideas on how to overcome them.
 

Join three Pasifika District Health Board workers from Hastings as they discuss their views on sexual health. Learn about reframing cultural beliefs, discussing sexual health and whānau and schoolmates, and overcoming barriers to promote sexual health. 

Tapu Vā: Pasifika Workers Talk Sexual Health | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Tapu Vā - Hastings Talanoa

Figure sitting in darkness made up of words. Hand touching up back and lighting up showing support.

Is your friend in crisis? Find help for yourself, a friend or anyone you know who is contemplating suicide or self harm 

Don’t forget to look after your safety as well. You’re not alone in this.
Protect your wairua and treat yourself with the same care that you would offer others.

Have you noticed changes in someone’s behaviour that make you think they’re really not ok? It’s a good time to speak up.

You may feel uncomfortable asking, but it’s important to be clear and direct. It can be as simple as “Are you thinking about suicide?”

They could avoid the question, they could be offended, they could get upset, but at least they’ll know you’ve got their back.

People are most likely to turn to close friends or family for support.

That might be you. Be non-judgemental, take the time to listen and acknowledge how they’re feeling.
Ask them if they will consider talking to a mental health professional. This is important so that you can keep them safe and take that pressure off your own shoulders, where it doesn’t belong. You are not responsible for keeping your friend alive all by yourself, so don’t carry that load alone. If they refuse to get help, talk to a trusted adult or to their parents/caregivers. Just 

If they talk about suicide or not wanting to be there (even as a joke), start giving stuff away or are saying goodbye to friends, these are signs you need to take seriously and do something about - even if they’ve asked you not to.

If you think anyone in your life could be in danger of hurting themselves or someone else, tell somebody ASAP. Reach out to their parents/caregivers, a school counsellor, kaumātua, trusted whanau, 

 It’s better to have a friend who is mad at you for breaking their trust than a friend who’s injured or gone.

Here are some ways you can help a friend who is suicidal:

If you feel they are in immediate danger of harming themselves, don’t leave them alone. Call 111 immediately, even if they haven’t harmed themselves yet.

Take it seriously – even if they’ve been saying it for a long time and never acted on it

Acknowledge their feelings, thoughts and what they are going through

Show your concern by paying attention and asking questions

Don’t be afraid to ask tough questions, for example, “Are you hurting yourself?”, “Are you thinking about suicide?”, “Do you have a plan?” If they have a plan to harm themselves, you need to call 111 right away.

Ask them if they want to talk about what’s going on for them with you or someone else. They might not want to open up straight away, but letting them know you are there for them is a big help.

Don’t promise not to tell. Instead, you can say something like, “I need you to know that I can’t keep this a secret because I care about you” and work to create a plan that you’re both comfortable with.

Problem solve with them - maybe they don’t want you to tell their parents, but instead you could agree on someone else you could go to (trusted whānau or 

Try to remove any dangerous objects from their environment (e.g. knives, pills, rope, anything sharp).

Stay with them until someone else can join you to help, or for as long as it is safe for you to be there. If you can, make sure they won’t be left alone.

It’s important to note that sometimes the person you go to for help may not offer you the help and support you need, but don’t give up there. Try again with someone else – this is important. Just because someone doesn’t listen or give you the help you need doesn’t mean that what you & your friend are facing isn’t real.

Remember to check in on yourself – are you doing ok? Is supporting your friend having an impact on your own wellbeing? Don’t take on more than you can handle, ask someone you trust for help if you’re struggling and 

Think of it like the safety instructions on a plane – they always tell you to put your own life preserver on first before helping those around you. 

You can’t help anyone else if you’re not ok yourself!

If you’re thinking about harming yourself or are having suicidal thoughts, 

to talk to someone who cares and can support you.

Is a mate really starting to worry you? If you think someone may be suicidal, ask them. Asking about suicide will not put the thought in their head, but it could save their life. It’s important to ask directly so that you can get them the help they need right away.

Worried about a friend? The Lowdown Aotearoa offers tips and resources to help you support a friend who may be struggling with suicidal thoughts. 

Supporting a Suicidal Friend | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Supporting a Suicidal Friend

A person is looking up. They're made up of different words, drawings, and island flags to form their facial and body features.

Your identity is shaped by many different factors:

The way you look – skin colour, body shape, hair, eyes, height, sex characteristics etc.

Your gender identity and gender expression

Your ethnicity – your family and where they come from, where you were born, where you have lived and where you live now, your languages and your accent.

Your culture – your customs, practices and world views 

Your beliefs – your religion, morals and what matters to you.

What you do – how you express yourself creatively, what you do for work, how you like to live, exercise, have fun and relax.

Your dreams – who you want to be and what you want to do.

What you think about yourself has a big impact on the way you feel about life. Your identity holds importance because it gives you a sense of purpose and belonging. It impacts the way you think, the words you use, what matters to you, your actions and your relationships with others.

Sometimes you can also lose sight of your identity. Perhaps people have attached labels to you that differ from how you see yourself. Maybe your family hold certain expectations of you around what career you choose or what religious beliefs you must hold.

Maybe your gender or sexuality is different to others around you, and it’s difficult to tell people about your experiences or find friends who can help you understand key pieces of your identity.

Perhaps you just realise that who you saw yourself as previously doesn’t feel like you anymore. That’s pretty common too.

It’s important to remember that this is just a stage of your life, and over time you will become confident in yourself again. These changes can also be really positive for us so it might be helpful to see this period as an evolution of who you are, becoming closer to your ultimate self.

Sometimes parts of who you are may feel like they’re in conflict with each other.

This is completely normal – it sucks, but it’s okay to feel that way and it’s also okay to take your time in exploring how you can introduce who you are as a whole into certain parts of your life. 

You don’t have to fix or change yourself for anyone and you don’t have to hide who you are unless you want to.

This is your journey and you can take it at your own pace – you get to decide when, how and with whom you share your full authentic self.

If you’re struggling with your identity, it can be really tough on your mental health. It’s important to not struggle with this alone, so reach out to someone you trust to talk about how you’re feeling so that they can support you.

Identity is at the core of who you are as an individual and as a member of groups in society. Your identity is unique and fluid – who you are now may be different to who you are tomorrow, next year and in your future. It can also be incredibly confusing. It can take a long time to figure out who you feel you are, and you may find yourself finding and then feeling like you have lost your identity many times through your life. 

Your identity is unique and can change over time. Discover more about who you are and how to navigate the complexities of your identity with The Lowdown Aotearoa.

Exploring Your Identity | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Your Identity

A young woman with long black hair, a large black shirt and sunglasses stands in front of a house and speaks to the camera.

Aigagalefili Fepulea'i-Tapua'i expresses her passion for the South Auckland, the place she calls home and champions what it means to a young rangatahi Pasifika in COVID times.

Mana Pasifika: South Auckland to the World | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

South Auckland to the World

Saute Aukilani sings me to sleep with the sound of siren jams.
Cos who needs fairytales when we have starriez
as old and coarse as my father's hands.
They say we're dirty.
But pick up a history lesson
and you'll find our blood on their hands.
We're an afterthought.
The aftermath of gentrification of the inner city
and yet still, I'd never trade the big hearts and warm smiles
for houses that look pretty.
Even lockdown can't shake what we have on lock.
So I bet them keyboard warriors are mad they can't recolonise our community
Mad that our spirits don't break under the scrutiny
They thrive on our downfall
But would collapse without us.
When my 65-year old aunty wakes up at 4
to be an essential worker.
But you won't see that on the news.
Cos NZ Herald comment sections
don't know what we know to be true.
Cos what's money compared to mana,
when no silver spoon could reflect the waves of our Moana?
So if you wanna know?
Come take a look for yourself.
Hear blessings slapped across fresh fades.
See the glowing melanin on smiling girls.
Cos no matter what anyone says,
it will always be
South Auckland to the world.

An aerial drone shot of Ōtara Town Centre.

Poet Grace Iwashita-Taylor expresses what it means to identify in Pasifika in modern COVID times. A powerful spoken word piece that embodies the Saute Aukilani mindset. Music from Brandon Haru.

Expressing ourselves is one way that we are able to reimagine our wellbeing together. Enjoy a creative piece written by Grace Iwashita-Taylor and performed by All-star Ngawati-Salaivao with music by Brandon Huru.

Mana Pasifika: Wellness is Community | The Lowdown NZ

Wellness is Community

In an uncertain world, your body can tremble
hustling just to survive
masina pull on the vasa, causing tides you cannot control
when stillness is too far stretched
and your breath is shallow in your chest
to settle your body
it takes a visit, to self, to aiga
to familiar food cooking on the stove, in your home
within a village of safety.
But
when the safety of that home becomes target
when brown is named scapegoat for blame
when your home is the birthplace of the essential workers
keeping a whole nation moving
frontline and front facing a virus yet, still smiling.
When putting yourself at risk, means income
means cupboards not empty and bills paid.
When someone comes from this village mentality
it's not helpful to ask them to heal alone
because it takes a village to be well.
The atamai of the vā
between the village within you
and the village surrounding you.
For children of the moana
wellness, is collective
is listening to the ocean in YOU
and the ocean in WE
wellness is navigation
is tending to our elderly
wellness is balance
is alofa, is love
wellness is a ritual of alofa
wellness is a radical act of love
wellness is village
is honouring your breath
for a collective shared breath
never bloomed but forever blooming
wellness is US.

Monty Shares his Journey with Depression

Tags

Up next