The Lowdown

Let's start with thinking of health as a state of wellness. We can think of wellness as choices, ways of being and activities that provide balance in our lives that improves our whole self; mind, body and wairua. As we evolve and grow and as our environment changes, our state of wellness may require adjustments. It's helpful to think of a state of wellness as flexible to what WE need WHEN we need. This gives us room to explore and try new practices, connecting with different support and resources.

Everyone has mental health. Mental health is a part of your hauora, it’s the wellness of your mind, your thoughts and how you feel. On any given day, the state of your mental health can be really good, okay, a bit up and down, feeling a bit low or really struggling, and it can change quickly and massively based on all the things that happen in life, both big and little. It’s often complicated because everyone’s experience of it is personal and unique.

Our hauora is not individual. It’s a weaving together of our whānau, our whakapapa, our connection to the world around us and our beliefs. This helps us form an identity that connects us to our past, grounds us in our present and lifts us up to the opportunities our future holds.

It means that we’re a part of something bigger than ourselves, and within this we can find people who care and support, stories that uplift us and help us to feel connected and heard, and a sense of belonging and acceptance of who we are.

Your mental health is closely linked to how you think and feel about yourself and others, how you create and manage relationships and friendships and the ways that you’re able to cope with the ups and downs of emotions that you face in your everyday life.

If you’re feeling good, you might say your mental health is all good right now. If you’re feeling down, anxious or confused, you could say your mental health is struggling or just a bit shitty at the moment.

Sometimes your mental health can be impacted by things that you can’t control. These can include sickness, injuries or other impacts to your physical health, systemic inequalities, the way other people act or treat you, hormones or other chemical changes inside your body, and even the time of year, temperature and weather.

Your mental health doesn’t always stay the same.

There are many factors that impact our mental health and shift the balance between feeling good and feeling down or having a hard time as you move through different stages of your life. These challenges may come and go over time, they may be short or might last for many years. Everyone’s experience is unique and different from everybody else and can be heavily impacted by things like your culture, your family and your identity. You might be able to bounce back from a tough experience while someone else may feel weighed down by it for a long time and both of these responses are normal.

The one thing you always need to remember that you’re never alone in what you’re facing. People care about you and want you to be ok, and they may have a better understanding of how you’re feeling than you realise.

Positive mental health is often connected to having a sense of purpose, knowing who we are, being able to do the things that matter to us and feeling connected to others. This is linked to resilience, which is having positive ways to deal with your feelings, recover from things that impact you and enjoy life even when things are hard.

It’s important to know, though, that having positive mental health overall doesn’t mean you’re excluded from experiencing mental distress.

A great resource to assist with this is the 'Five Ways of Wellbeing' from the Mental Health Foundation 

If you’re thinking about harming yourself or are having suicidal thoughts, 

to talk to someone who cares and can support you.

You may hear the words ‘mental health’ being thrown around a lot in conversations, in the news or on social media. The thing is, you might not know what that means exactly. No worries, we’re here to help.

Mental health is a critical part of your overall wellbeing , but what does that actually mean? Get informed about mental health with The Lowdown Aotearoa. 

Understanding Mental Health | The Lowdown Aotearoa

What is Mental Health?

A girl with her hair in a bun is standing with her eyes closed with her hand on her heart and a pounamu necklace. Behind her are four inverted figures in black and white.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Each person’s grief is unique and everyone will experience it differently.

For some people this is what grief might look like:

 – right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb or have trouble believing that the loss really happened.

 – You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning or deep loneliness, and you may be so sad your body physically hurts. You might cry a lot or not at all, and both are normal.

 – After experiencing a loss, you may feel guilt or regret about many things such as what you did or didn’t say or do, even if there was nothing you could have done to change this.

 – even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry with yourself, God, the doctors or even the person who died.

 – a significant loss can trigger a lot of feelings of worry and fear. You may feel anxious, helpless or insecure.

Physical symptoms may occur including fatigue, nausea, lowered immunity, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains or insomnia.

Everyone deals with grief in different ways, and we often underestimate just how long it will take to feel better. With grief there is no timeline – you can’t control how long it takes but you can find coping mechanisms to help you survive it.

Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold. There are healthy ways to cope with the pain that you feel and to help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning and eventually move on with your life.

if your grief is feeling overwhelming, itʻs good to talk to someone about it, rather than feeling like you have to keep your emotions to yourself.

Reach out to someone you trust and talk to them about how you’re feeling, or ask them to help you see a mental health professional who can support you in dealing with the heavy weight of these emotions. If you don’t have anyone in your life that you can talk to, the below list of websites can help you access support.

It’s important to note that sometimes the person you talk to may not offer you the help and support you need, but don’t give up. Try again with someone else – your struggles are important and just because someone doesn’t listen or give you the help you need doesn’t mean what you’re facing isn’t real.

 offers support and information to help you get through this.

Grief is a normal part of life. It’s a natural reaction to losing someone or something that you love or hold value to. You may feel grief when you have experienced the death of a person or animal you love or care about, the end of a relationship or friendship or the loss of an opportunity or a place that’s important to you.

Dealing with grief and loss can be challenging as a young person. Learn how to find support and take steps towards healing with The Lowdown Aotearoa. 

Coping with Grief and Loss | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Grief and Loss

A young woman with long black hair, a large black shirt and sunglasses stands in front of a house and speaks to the camera.

Mana Pasifika

Aigagalefili Fepulea'i-Tapua'i expresses her passion for the South Auckland, the place she calls home and champions what it means to a young rangatahi Pasifika in COVID times.

Mana Pasifika: South Auckland to the World | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

South Auckland to the World

Saute Aukilani sings me to sleep with the sound of siren jams.
Cos who needs fairytales when we have starriez
as old and coarse as my father's hands.
They say we're dirty.
But pick up a history lesson
and you'll find our blood on their hands.
We're an afterthought.
The aftermath of gentrification of the inner city
and yet still, I'd never trade the big hearts and warm smiles
for houses that look pretty.
Even lockdown can't shake what we have on lock.
So I bet them keyboard warriors are mad they can't recolonise our community
Mad that our spirits don't break under the scrutiny
They thrive on our downfall
But would collapse without us.
When my 65-year old aunty wakes up at 4
to be an essential worker.
But you won't see that on the news.
Cos NZ Herald comment sections
don't know what we know to be true.
Cos what's money compared to mana,
when no silver spoon could reflect the waves of our Moana?
So if you wanna know?
Come take a look for yourself.
Hear blessings slapped across fresh fades.
See the glowing melanin on smiling girls.
Cos no matter what anyone says,
it will always be
South Auckland to the world.

One boy is pulling another by the collar of his shirt aggressively. A girl is standing in front of them holding her phone, looking at a laughing emoji with a blank stare on her face.

Bullying is when someone repetitively and intentionally harms you, or goes out of their way to make sure you are unhappy. It comes in many different forms – physical, verbal, social and online– and is

Sometimes bullying can be system and come from people in positions of power such as teachers, parents, people in authority at work etc. This is still not ok and you don’t have to accept it. Talk to someone you trust and ask them for support in dealing with this. Here are some links that can help you know what to do:

It’s important to know what bullying can look like:

Hurting your body by kicking, pushing, tripping, hitting or any other form of touching you that you don’t want.

Saying or writing mean things such as threats or hurtful comments

Spreading rumours or sharing personal information about you

Purposefully excluding you from groups or activities

Creating anonymous social media accounts to post mean things online or to troll people

Stealing or damaging people’s belongings

It can be hard to understand why someone chooses to bully, but there can be a lot going on in their own lives that is causing them to make these choices.

When a school finds out that someone is bullying, it doesn’t just mean that that person will be punished. It gives their teachers or school counsellor the chance to try and find out what’s going wrong for that person and give them the support they need to heal and do better.

It is also possible that your school won’t react in that way, or offer you the support that you need. Not all schools are proactive about bullying or support all students equally.

As a Rainbow, Māori or Pasifika person, depending on where you live, you may be more likely to experience bullying in school and your school may be less supportive of you if that happens. If this happens to you, you may need to look for support somewhere else.

If you trust that your parents or caregivers will be supportive of you, talk to them. If you don’t feel like you can have that conversation with them, talk to someone who you trust – maybe a member of your whānau or someone in the rainbow community who will understand what you’re experiencing.

No matter the reason, all bullying is hurtful and wrong. 

It’s not your fault and you are not responsible for how they are treating you.

Dealing with bullying can be tough, and it’s not about fighting back or sucking it up.

There is no simple solution to handling bullying but 

Depending on how bad the bullying is (and only if you are in a safe position to do this) you might be able to try talking to the bully openly about how they’re making you feel. If one of your friends is bullying you, this might be enough to make them stop. It might help to practice this conversation with a friend and ask them to come with you for backup.

Speak up – tell someone you trust and report the bullying to an adult and/or to your school

Stay in a group of friends or ask a friend to pair up with you so that you’re not alone when moving around the school

 to reduce your anxiety or frustration if they’ve upset you

Take up a new activity like martial arts that will help you feel more empowered or confident in yourself

Talk to someone you trust about what is happening

Leave any group chats where the bullying is happening

Clean out your follower list – be ruthless!

Change your privacy settings on social media so that non-followers cannot see your profile or message you

If it’s important to you that your account stays public, take a break from social media for a while

Many people at some point have experienced being bullied. It’s important to remember that it’s not your fault and there is no reason to feel ashamed. You’re not alone.

Even though we’re all different, everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Be kind to yourself! Remember that it’s never acceptable to watch or record someone else get bullied or be a bully yourself.

If you think you may have been bullying someone

 and you want to change, remember that it’s as simple as making a choice. You have the power to choose to no longer act in that way.

If you have decided to do better in how you treat someone but you know that you have hurt them –it can be a powerful thing for you both if you apologise and ask for their forgiveness. They may not choose to forgive you and that is their right, but your apology will help both of you move on.

If you’re finding it tough to change your behaviour, don’t give up. Ask someone you trust for support or speak to your school counsellor – they can give you advice and support.

Putting up with other people’s bad days (like a friend being rude when they’re annoyed with you) sucks – but it’s part of life. What’s not OK is when someone sets out to make your life miserable.

Get help and support from The Lowdown Aotearoa to overcome bullying. Learn coping strategies and tips to protect yourself. 

Coping with Bullying | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Bullying

Struggling to manage your anger? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown. 

#Anger

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