The logo of the Sounds of La Salle band with various musical instruments in the background.

Mana Pasifika

The boys from Sounds of La Salle create a powerful track around reaching out and checking in on our brothers to make sure they are ok. Written and performed by the Sounds of La Salle band.

"Dear Brother" - SOLS

Hey Uce
I know you find it hard to speak
thinking this act of speaking up will only make you weak
Kaukala mai 
I know we were taught to be strong
And I mean all affection implanted into this song
I'm here for you
E ui iga kigā lau faku
I just can't stand to see you hurt 
Kaumafai gagā magakau
I know you're feenin and you're feeling for some love 
So you keep dreaming uce 
I've seen it in your tears there's so much pain
Kakou ola ma le magakau e fu’e I kakou le fusipau 
If we ever decided to let it rain, 
but I'm just sayin
I love you uce and I don’t want you hurting yourself
As this facade of being strong only hurts your mental health
But take your time uce
Take all the time and space you need
Just text up when you're ready.
I see you sitting there
Catching your tear drops in your hands
Hiding behind that mask
Crying out when will this all end
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering
At every tunnel's end
Just know that there is light 
Know that you got a friend
Just know that everything will be alright
Alright
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
At every tunnel's end
Just know that there is light 
Know that you got a friend
Just know that everything will be alright
Alright

Manutioriori in her room, smiling, with a bunch of photos and bright artwork around her.

The Lowdown

When you feel down, it might feel easier to push those feelings away. Manutioriori shares with us her journey and a gentle reminder that you don't have to deal with them alone. 

Manutioriori's Story - Part 1

I didn’t notice things building up. 
But if I look back at it, everything started in intermediate. 
Intermediate was rough. 
Bullying is something that is normalised in our country. 
You can put signs that say bullying is wrong or say “stop it I don’t like it”, but what does that really even help. 
I was bullied by someone I grew up with through primary and intermediate.
I don’t know what made her do it, but I kind of felt betrayed because she was someone I really trusted. 
During the same time that all of this was happening my parents were going through a divorce.
But because I was only young, I didn’t really comprehend the situation. 
I did see how much it hurt the rest of my siblings though. 

When it did end up being just me and the kids.
I learnt very early on that if I couldn’t be open and honest with them about what was going on in my world,
which was affecting their world, we were never going to be okay. 
I actually sat them all down and had that conversation with them about the fact that their father had gone 
and that he wasn’t coming back.
Because it was the only thing I knew to do. 
So, in amongst everything that we’ve done and all the things we’ve been through, that’s the only thing that I could ever do was just talk or try and get them to talk.
But when they stop talking to you, that’s when it gets really hard.
Because when they’re not talking, you don’t know how they’re feeling and you don’t know what more you can do to try and pull them back up.

Even though I didn’t properly comprehend the divorce, I was disappointed with my dad.
He wasn’t around as much as I wanted him to be, mainly because he wasn’t in stable accommodation. 
The relationship I had with my dad started to fade because I was upset with him. 
In my head I was thinking “why now?” why does he want to be a part of our lives now, because it seems like he’s trying more now than when he lived under our roof. 

With Manutioriori, I think looking back I think that there were definitely signs when her – me and her father separated. 
Slowly but surely the signs were getting more and more obvious.
But she talks more about when her grandfather – who was her father’s father passed away. 

Highschool came around, I made new friends, I settled in pretty well. 
It was actually better than I expected.
And then boom, koro passed away.
It felt like everything started falling apart.
I had lost the mana Māori person that I looked up to and adored. 
My grandfather was the type of person that loved his grandkids more than anything. 
The person that we could run away to knowing we would be safe.
I can’t really explain the way I felt, but going to his house, even now, feels like there’s something missing. 
It’s hard for me to place an emotion on it. 
Mostly grief, uh guilt because you know I didn’t see my grandfather before he passed away. Yeah.
I tried to push it away, but it was still sitting in the back of my head. 
I think it would’ve got to a point where I would’ve started like self-harm, even though I don’t like thinking about that, yeah.

When you get to a point where you feel like you’ve done all that you possibly could, fear starts to kick in.
Fear that you know um that they’re just going to lose the plot or you’re going to lose them. 
And it can get really hard, you know then you start sort of judging yourself.
Looking at your own inadequacies, like you’re not good enough to be a parent.
Um, it can be quite hard and I think in amongst it all when it gets to that point, 
you spend a lot of time trying to show on the outside that that’s not how you feel.
So you still have to walk around with the brave face, even though the brain is just going “oh my god, oh my god, what am I going to do next?”
After her grandfather passed away, I mean I wouldn’t say that she was a very confident and open child before he passed away, but she definitely went a little bit darker.
Um, after he passed and then of course I think it was a year later his wife passed away. 
So that was another huge toll on all of them including her. 


Manutioriori smiling in front of a teal background with Māori designs on it, she's designed as an anime character inspired by Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Talking to your parents/carers might be scary, but for Manutioriori, telling someone about how she was feeling was a big relief. 

Manutioriori's Story - Part 2

Opening up to my mum about how I felt was a struggle. 
I was scared she wouldn’t know what to do with me or what to say. 
I even thought she would push it all away and tell me to just harden up. 
I usually would just like bottle it up 
Like to me showing grief or sadness, I thought it was weak. 
My grandfather was like a very strong man. 
Yeah I didn’t want to show my weakness to other people. 
Yeah, I just wanted to be strong like him 

I wouldn’t say that she had completely shut down and we weren’t having any conversations.
But there were more regular conversations that were ‘I can’t talk to you about it, I can’t explain how I’m feeling'; I can only tell you what I’m feeling’. 
No matter what tactics I tried, and it’s not like I have a basket full of tactics.
So the tactics that I had, as I was trying them out, that was all I was getting. 
She just couldn’t explain what was going on; it was just ‘I’m feeling this, I can’t talk to you about it anymore’.

Mum made me join the mental health course at Te Kaha O Te Rangatahi, where I met Matt. 
Initially, I didn’t want to do the course because I thought they would be like therapy sessions.
The sessions were filled with laughter and just straight vibes. 
It was a great experience. 
The most important thing I learnt from the course is that not all mental health programmes are negative, just like they are in films. 
It was nice to open up to a group of strangers. 
It was also nice to hear the boys in our group open up, because it is not often that you see or hear boys open up about their mental health. 


The first thing I would say that I noticed is that she started talking more. 
She wasn’t hiding as much in her room. 
I wouldn’t say we went from her not talking to instantly she was telling me everything, but it was small steps, you know. 
She could explain to me slowly why she was feeling the way that she was or she was talking to me about things that she would talk about in the sessions with Matt you know. 
That was sort of the biggest thing was that she started talking and started opening up.

I was scared I might do something to myself so I started so I started properly talking to my mum about how I felt and telling her if I was having a bad day and needed space. 
We of course talked about the bad days I was having and it felt nice to be able to talk to my mum about my mental health and just ranting to her, doing this created a well-needed bond with her.
I was tired of not talking to someone so it was good to finally have someone that I know won’t judge me. 
I remember there was this one time me and my sisters were really struggling after he’d passed and we were upset at my grandfather.

My mum decided to pack us all up and we went off to Taupiri to go yell at him because that was a coping thing for us. 
We couldn‘t physically yell at him but it was still a bit therapeutic sitting there just yelling at him in our heads. 
At one point when we were there I felt like he was there with us it felt like his presence was there and that was really nice.
I’m still working on my mental health but I’m pretty sure everyone is the same. 
My relationship with my mum is so much better than it used to be. 
My relationship with my brother and family grew stronger throughout this whole journey. 
I’ve started properly coping with my mental health. 
I also use photography as another way to cope and started watching anime. 

I think that she is doing really well. 
I mean, life is never perfect. 
Challenge is always going to come her way, but she talks about things. 
She’s like “oh mum what do you think I should do in this situation?” you know so we definitely talk. 
I’m really happy at the fact that she, so far, is comfortable to talk to me about anything that is going on in her brain. 
Whatever she feels is affecting her and changing the way that she’s feeling,
she’s comfortable enough to talk to me. 
And that’s a huge achievement compared to where she was before she started the programme and started her little journey. 

I was expecting her to like, um, push me away and not want to talk about it. 
But she was really open to talking more about it and making sure I was okay.
Mine and my mums relationship is way better than it used to be only because I talk to her more. 
My mum's like my best friend; I tell her everything. 

I think I haven’t got it down to a tee.
You know, I’m learning every day with every new problem that gets thrown at me. I’m learning. 
It feels good to be on the other side. 
One thing I probably wish I had have done better at the time would have been to talk to people about how I was feeling. 
As time has gone by, I suppose I’ve learnt that just as much as they’re learning from being born to walking and going to school, parents are learning too. 


A boy is split in half; one half is at school with a heavy backpack full of books, and the other half is at the rugby field with a heavy bag full of rugby gear. 

There are probably lots of things on your mind right now. Will I fit in? Will there be more work? More pressure? What about exams? Will I have friends in my class? What if I don’t remember where to go? 

It’s totally OK to feel nervous. It’s 

 going from being in an environment you’re comfortable and familiar with to somewhere new.

Your first year of high school can take you by surprise in both positive and negative ways. Here are some things you can expect, to help you mentally prepare for the experience:

You’ll be learning across a wide range of subjects – many of these you’ll be able to choose yourself. This gives you opportunities to really focus on what you enjoy or what will help you achieve the career you want.

You’ll work with different teachers in different classrooms throughout the day. Everything may seem much more unfamiliar because of this but you will soon get to know your teachers and classrooms just like you do now.

You’ll be more independent and responsible for managing your own timetable – this will be more complex than before but you’ll get used to it in no time.

You may have some awesome new extra-curricular activities like sports and clubs to consider joining. These are great ways to make new friends!

Most high schools hold an orientation day before school actually starts. Make sure you attend if you can, so you can get a tour of your new school – this way you know what you’re facing and will have more confidence for your first day. You might even be able to spark new friendships with other people who are feeling just as nervous and excited as you are.

To help things go a little smoother on your first day, you could try a few things like:

Find out if there is anyone you know going to the same school and see if you can catch up

Try to have an early night and a well-rested sleep the night before

Visit the school before you start or study your campus map so you know how to find your way around

Make sure you have all your books and stationery, pack your bag and lay out your uniform the night before

Even if you get off to a bad start, don’t over think it - you’ll settle in soon and find where you feel comfortable, your crew or a way you enjoy expressing yourself.

There’s no denying that there are challenges and hurdles that lie ahead as you adjust to new environments, connections and classes, but these changes are mostly positive and you’ll find yourself a wiser, more capable person because of them.

If you’re really struggling to adjust to your new school, things just aren’t getting any easier or you feel like you can’t bear to face each day, reach out to someone you trust or your school counsellor and talk to them about how you’re feeling.

If you’re thinking about harming yourself or are having suicidal thoughts, 

to talk to someone who cares and can support you.

Starting a new school or level of education is exciting, but it also might be stressful and feel pretty weird and unfamiliar to you. You’re not alone in this – most of the people in your class are probably feeling or have felt the same way. 

Starting School

One boy is pulling another by the collar of his shirt aggressively. A girl is standing in front of them holding her phone, looking at a laughing emoji with a blank stare on her face.

Bullying is when someone repetitively and intentionally harms you, or goes out of their way to make sure you are unhappy. It comes in many different forms – physical, verbal, social and online– and is

Sometimes bullying can be system and come from people in positions of power such as teachers, parents, people in authority at work etc. This is still not ok and you don’t have to accept it. Talk to someone you trust and ask them for support in dealing with this. Here are some links that can help you know what to do:

It’s important to know what bullying can look like:

Hurting your body by kicking, pushing, tripping, hitting or any other form of touching you that you don’t want.

Saying or writing mean things such as threats or hurtful comments

Spreading rumours or sharing personal information about you

Purposefully excluding you from groups or activities

Creating anonymous social media accounts to post mean things online or to troll people

Stealing or damaging people’s belongings

It can be hard to understand why someone chooses to bully, but there can be a lot going on in their own lives that is causing them to make these choices.

When a school finds out that someone is bullying, it doesn’t just mean that that person will be punished. It gives their teachers or school counsellor the chance to try and find out what’s going wrong for that person and give them the support they need to heal and do better.

It is also possible that your school won’t react in that way, or offer you the support that you need. Not all schools are proactive about bullying or support all students equally.

As a Rainbow, Māori or Pasifika person, depending on where you live, you may be more likely to experience bullying in school and your school may be less supportive of you if that happens. If this happens to you, you may need to look for support somewhere else.

If you trust that your parents or caregivers will be supportive of you, talk to them. If you don’t feel like you can have that conversation with them, talk to someone who you trust – maybe a member of your whānau or someone in the rainbow community who will understand what you’re experiencing.

No matter the reason, all bullying is hurtful and wrong. 

It’s not your fault and you are not responsible for how they are treating you.

Dealing with bullying can be tough, and it’s not about fighting back or sucking it up.

There is no simple solution to handling bullying but 

Depending on how bad the bullying is (and only if you are in a safe position to do this) you might be able to try talking to the bully openly about how they’re making you feel. If one of your friends is bullying you, this might be enough to make them stop. It might help to practice this conversation with a friend and ask them to come with you for backup.

Speak up – tell someone you trust and report the bullying to an adult and/or to your school

Stay in a group of friends or ask a friend to pair up with you so that you’re not alone when moving around the school

 to reduce your anxiety or frustration if they’ve upset you

Take up a new activity like martial arts that will help you feel more empowered or confident in yourself

Talk to someone you trust about what is happening

Leave any group chats where the bullying is happening

Clean out your follower list – be ruthless!

Change your privacy settings on social media so that non-followers cannot see your profile or message you

If it’s important to you that your account stays public, take a break from social media for a while

Many people at some point have experienced being bullied. It’s important to remember that it’s not your fault and there is no reason to feel ashamed. You’re not alone.

Even though we’re all different, everyone deserves to be treated with respect. Be kind to yourself! Remember that it’s never acceptable to watch or record someone else get bullied or be a bully yourself.

If you think you may have been bullying someone

 and you want to change, remember that it’s as simple as making a choice. You have the power to choose to no longer act in that way.

If you have decided to do better in how you treat someone but you know that you have hurt them –it can be a powerful thing for you both if you apologise and ask for their forgiveness. They may not choose to forgive you and that is their right, but your apology will help both of you move on.

If you’re finding it tough to change your behaviour, don’t give up. Ask someone you trust for support or speak to your school counsellor – they can give you advice and support.

Putting up with other people’s bad days (like a friend being rude when they’re annoyed with you) sucks – but it’s part of life. What’s not OK is when someone sets out to make your life miserable.

Bullying

Bullying in any form can take a huge toll on your mental and physical well-being. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown. 

Want to build and care for your mental health and well-being through Pasifika approaches? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Grief can be a painful process. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Your mental health is essential to your overall well-being and is just as important as your physical health. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Finding school tough? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Want to learn to build and care for your hauora through Te Ao Māori approaches? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Who you are and what you think about yourself has a big impact on the way you feel about life. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

It's normal to feel anxious sometimes. But if you're finding it hard to cope, find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown. 

Want to learn more about depression and mental distress? Find support, connect and learn at The Lowdown.

It can be difficult to identify and express thoughts and feelings. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Expression through creativity can have a positive impact on your mental health and well-being. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Coping with stress can be overwhelming especially for a young person. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Friendships can have a big impact on your mental health and well-being, but they're not always easy to create or maintain. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Dealing with loss can be one of life's hardest challenges. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Struggling to manage your anger? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown. 

Culture is not just a word but a sense of being. Need help supporting your mental health? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Supporting others can be very powerful for both parties involved. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Finding it hard to relieve your sadness? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown. 

In today's world, it can be easy to become overwhelmed. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

If you're having suicidal thoughts, you need to seek help now. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Troubled by constant worries and need tips to help stay calm? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

The relationships we have with our family can have a huge impact on mental health and well-being. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Here's a list of content based around the topic of tough times at The Lowdown.

Your ability to connect with others in a healthy way plays an important part in your mental health and well-being. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Abuse is never OK and there are no excuses for it. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Pressure can come in many forms, but with support we can get through the tough times. Find support, connect and learn at The Lowdown.

Having study trouble? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Life has its ups and it also has its downs. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

The relationships we have with our whānau can have a huge impact on mental health and well-being. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Staying well is vital for your mental health and well-being. Struggling? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

If guilt isn't addressed, it's unlikely to go away. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

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Death is a certainty in life, though it doesn't mean you'll ever be prepared to deal with it. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

The topic of stigma around mental health can often lead to feelings of shame. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Struggling with your mental health? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Coping with a breakup can be rough. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Youth often don't get the mental health support they need because they don't know where to start. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Having a supportive community can help make a positive impact on your mental health and well-being. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Relationships often require a lot of work to grow and can be quite complicated at times. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Feeling lost? You are not alone in these feelings. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Starting a new school? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Navigating the dating world? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown

Want to know more about body dysmorphia? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown. 

Work troubles getting you down, or need tips around getting into the workforce? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Need help with body positivity thinking? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Your ability to connect with others plays an important part in mental health and  well-being. If you're struggling with unhealthy relationships, find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Struggling with how you feel about your body weight? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Want to learn more about eating disorders like anorexia? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Need support relating to drug use or just want to know more about safe choices? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Want to know more about phobias and anxiety? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Learning about someone else's lived experience might help you gain the information you need. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Disabilities can impact our lives in many ways. Find support, connect and learn at The Lowdown.

Dance is a way to express difficult thoughts and feelings you might be experiencing. Find support, connect and learn more on the Lowdown.

Want to learn more about neurodiversity? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown. 

Is money making you stressed and anxious? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Coping with shock can be a difficult process. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Want to learn more about orientation? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Need support relating to alcohol use or just want to know more about safe choices? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

The relationships we have with our aiga can have a huge impact on mental health and well-being. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Gender isn't a label, it's a fluid and beautiful piece of our identity. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Want to learn more about eating disorders like bulimia? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

No matter what you're experiencing in your relation to your sexuality, there is no need to go through it alone. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Pregnancy can be exciting and scary at the same time. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Living with social anxiety may have a tough effect on your life, but it doesn't have to. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Want to know more about consent and the role it plays in keeping us safe? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

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At some stage in your life, you'll have to make important decisions around the topic of sex and that can be daunting. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

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Has COVID-19 impacted your life? Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

One of the most important aspects of recovery is learning to keep yourself mentally and physically healthy. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

Understanding body image plays an important part in a young person's developing self-esteem. Find support, connect and learn on the Lowdown.

#Bullying

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