The logo of the Sounds of La Salle band with various musical instruments in the background.

Mana Pasifika

The boys from Sounds of La Salle create a powerful track around reaching out and checking in on our brothers to make sure they are ok. Written and performed by the Sounds of La Salle band.

The boys from Sounds of La Salle create a powerful track on reaching out and checking in our brothers to make sure they're okay. 

Mana Pasifika: "Dear Brother" - SOLS | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

"Dear Brother" - SOLS

Hey Uce
I know you find it hard to speak
thinking this act of speaking up will only make you weak
Kaukala mai 
I know we were taught to be strong
And I mean all affection implanted into this song
I'm here for you
E ui iga kigā lau faku
I just can't stand to see you hurt 
Kaumafai gagā magakau
I know you're feenin and you're feeling for some love 
So you keep dreaming uce 
I've seen it in your tears there's so much pain
Kakou ola ma le magakau e fu’e I kakou le fusipau 
If we ever decided to let it rain, 
but I'm just sayin
I love you uce and I don’t want you hurting yourself
As this facade of being strong only hurts your mental health
But take your time uce
Take all the time and space you need
Just text up when you're ready.
I see you sitting there
Catching your tear drops in your hands
Hiding behind that mask
Crying out when will this all end
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering
At every tunnel's end
Just know that there is light 
Know that you got a friend
Just know that everything will be alright
Alright
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
You don’t have to struggle in silence
You’re more stronger than you seem
We can both get through this temporary suffering 
At every tunnel's end
Just know that there is light 
Know that you got a friend
Just know that everything will be alright
Alright

Grafitti artist on a ladder with his back to us painting a giant mural. 

Monty shares his inspiring story through depression and the creative outlets he uses to better his mental wellbeing.

Monty shares his inspiring store of his journey through depression and the creative outlets he uses to better his mental wellbeing. 

Mana Pasifika: Monty's Journey with Depression | The Lowdown Aotearoa

Monty Shares his Journey with Depression

I am Monty Collins,
I am the director of SDO Custom Designs
and we're based out here in Mangere, South Auckland.
We're basically a company that does logos, murals
and uniforms and garments, basically anything.
I think for the first Covid, that was a stressful time
There was potential business happening
Everything was starting to flow
and then (snap)
all of a sudden, you’re getting notices, like emails
"sorry we can't do this", "sorry we can't do this",
"sorry we can't do this".
For us, well, for me personally
I just had to sit in my corner
and in my own little mind space and
somewhat, just look past it
and just realize, look, everyone is going through a hard time.
Me personally, I got depression so,
it didn’t help, you know like, my business,
my artwork, is my stress relief
and to hear that potential business was going
that stressed me out.
The things that went through me head were
my family,
food,
rent,
especially rent, you know.
At the same time, just working on what we can do
so we started doing preorders for hoodies and all that stuff
and it was really good
that helped put some, ease that, there’s still potential out there.
Our people we're, we are vocal
but we're not emotionally vocal or mentally vocal.
When I say mentally vocal,
I think the words depression, mental health,
mental illness is not in our vocab
You know how it is, it's basically like
Toughen up, you know, blah blah
but they don’t realize that it’s an actual condition
and some people, even though they toughen it out
sometimes they don't live to see the next day,
cause it just gets too much,
and I've lost a few friends from it
purely because either
one, they don’t want to put on their act that they need help,
two, they don’t know who to talk to,
three, they've just changed so much because
of the metal state that they've had
that they hide, you know and then
if you don't keep in contact with those ones
you will never see them again.
I think there should be a massive awareness about
peoples mental state
especially within the lockdown and the stresses of,
expensive housing and minimum wage and
just getting food on the table
is sometimes stressful for people.
It's the reason why I want to do my bit
within this campaign
and express it the way I know how to
and that's with art.
I've been given a wall out in Otara
and certain cultures, a Tiki is somewhat a symbol of strength
and what I've done there is I've done a laughing Tiki
saying cheers, with the kava cup
because the kava bowl is utilized as a
device for conversation amongst men
it's the way men communicate back in the day
You know, clap twice you get another cup
makes it easier to talk
the waves represent Covid and the hardships
that everyone's going through
and basically, what I am trying to portray is that
there's always light at the end of the tunnel
just gotta stand strong and communicate more with your families.

Manutioriori in her room, smiling, with a bunch of photos and bright artwork around her.

The Lowdown

When you feel down, it might feel easier to push those feelings away. Manutioriori shares with us her journey and a gentle reminder that you don't have to deal with them alone. 

Join Manutioriori as she shares her journey and reminds us that we don't have to deal with our feelings alone. 

Manutioriori's Story Part 1 | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Manutioriori's Story - Part 1

I didn’t notice things building up. 
But if I look back at it, everything started in intermediate. 
Intermediate was rough. 
Bullying is something that is normalised in our country. 
You can put signs that say bullying is wrong or say “stop it I don’t like it”, but what does that really even help. 
I was bullied by someone I grew up with through primary and intermediate.
I don’t know what made her do it, but I kind of felt betrayed because she was someone I really trusted. 
During the same time that all of this was happening my parents were going through a divorce.
But because I was only young, I didn’t really comprehend the situation. 
I did see how much it hurt the rest of my siblings though. 

When it did end up being just me and the kids.
I learnt very early on that if I couldn’t be open and honest with them about what was going on in my world,
which was affecting their world, we were never going to be okay. 
I actually sat them all down and had that conversation with them about the fact that their father had gone 
and that he wasn’t coming back.
Because it was the only thing I knew to do. 
So, in amongst everything that we’ve done and all the things we’ve been through, that’s the only thing that I could ever do was just talk or try and get them to talk.
But when they stop talking to you, that’s when it gets really hard.
Because when they’re not talking, you don’t know how they’re feeling and you don’t know what more you can do to try and pull them back up.

Even though I didn’t properly comprehend the divorce, I was disappointed with my dad.
He wasn’t around as much as I wanted him to be, mainly because he wasn’t in stable accommodation. 
The relationship I had with my dad started to fade because I was upset with him. 
In my head I was thinking “why now?” why does he want to be a part of our lives now, because it seems like he’s trying more now than when he lived under our roof. 

With Manutioriori, I think looking back I think that there were definitely signs when her – me and her father separated. 
Slowly but surely the signs were getting more and more obvious.
But she talks more about when her grandfather – who was her father’s father passed away. 

Highschool came around, I made new friends, I settled in pretty well. 
It was actually better than I expected.
And then boom, koro passed away.
It felt like everything started falling apart.
I had lost the mana Māori person that I looked up to and adored. 
My grandfather was the type of person that loved his grandkids more than anything. 
The person that we could run away to knowing we would be safe.
I can’t really explain the way I felt, but going to his house, even now, feels like there’s something missing. 
It’s hard for me to place an emotion on it. 
Mostly grief, uh guilt because you know I didn’t see my grandfather before he passed away. Yeah.
I tried to push it away, but it was still sitting in the back of my head. 
I think it would’ve got to a point where I would’ve started like self-harm, even though I don’t like thinking about that, yeah.

When you get to a point where you feel like you’ve done all that you possibly could, fear starts to kick in.
Fear that you know um that they’re just going to lose the plot or you’re going to lose them. 
And it can get really hard, you know then you start sort of judging yourself.
Looking at your own inadequacies, like you’re not good enough to be a parent.
Um, it can be quite hard and I think in amongst it all when it gets to that point, 
you spend a lot of time trying to show on the outside that that’s not how you feel.
So you still have to walk around with the brave face, even though the brain is just going “oh my god, oh my god, what am I going to do next?”
After her grandfather passed away, I mean I wouldn’t say that she was a very confident and open child before he passed away, but she definitely went a little bit darker.
Um, after he passed and then of course I think it was a year later his wife passed away. 
So that was another huge toll on all of them including her. 


Manutioriori smiling in front of a teal background with Māori designs on it, she's designed as an anime character inspired by Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Talking to your parents/carers might be scary, but for Manutioriori, telling someone about how she was feeling was a big relief. 

Discover how Manutioriori found relief and support by opening up to her parents about her feelings. her story serves as a reminder that you are not alone in your struggles and seeking help is a brave step towards healing. 

Manutioriori's Story Part 2 | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Manutioriori's Story - Part 2

Opening up to my mum about how I felt was a struggle. 
I was scared she wouldn’t know what to do with me or what to say. 
I even thought she would push it all away and tell me to just harden up. 
I usually would just like bottle it up 
Like to me showing grief or sadness, I thought it was weak. 
My grandfather was like a very strong man. 
Yeah I didn’t want to show my weakness to other people. 
Yeah, I just wanted to be strong like him 

I wouldn’t say that she had completely shut down and we weren’t having any conversations.
But there were more regular conversations that were ‘I can’t talk to you about it, I can’t explain how I’m feeling'; I can only tell you what I’m feeling’. 
No matter what tactics I tried, and it’s not like I have a basket full of tactics.
So the tactics that I had, as I was trying them out, that was all I was getting. 
She just couldn’t explain what was going on; it was just ‘I’m feeling this, I can’t talk to you about it anymore’.

Mum made me join the mental health course at Te Kaha O Te Rangatahi, where I met Matt. 
Initially, I didn’t want to do the course because I thought they would be like therapy sessions.
The sessions were filled with laughter and just straight vibes. 
It was a great experience. 
The most important thing I learnt from the course is that not all mental health programmes are negative, just like they are in films. 
It was nice to open up to a group of strangers. 
It was also nice to hear the boys in our group open up, because it is not often that you see or hear boys open up about their mental health. 


The first thing I would say that I noticed is that she started talking more. 
She wasn’t hiding as much in her room. 
I wouldn’t say we went from her not talking to instantly she was telling me everything, but it was small steps, you know. 
She could explain to me slowly why she was feeling the way that she was or she was talking to me about things that she would talk about in the sessions with Matt you know. 
That was sort of the biggest thing was that she started talking and started opening up.

I was scared I might do something to myself so I started so I started properly talking to my mum about how I felt and telling her if I was having a bad day and needed space. 
We of course talked about the bad days I was having and it felt nice to be able to talk to my mum about my mental health and just ranting to her, doing this created a well-needed bond with her.
I was tired of not talking to someone so it was good to finally have someone that I know won’t judge me. 
I remember there was this one time me and my sisters were really struggling after he’d passed and we were upset at my grandfather.

My mum decided to pack us all up and we went off to Taupiri to go yell at him because that was a coping thing for us. 
We couldn‘t physically yell at him but it was still a bit therapeutic sitting there just yelling at him in our heads. 
At one point when we were there I felt like he was there with us it felt like his presence was there and that was really nice.
I’m still working on my mental health but I’m pretty sure everyone is the same. 
My relationship with my mum is so much better than it used to be. 
My relationship with my brother and family grew stronger throughout this whole journey. 
I’ve started properly coping with my mental health. 
I also use photography as another way to cope and started watching anime. 

I think that she is doing really well. 
I mean, life is never perfect. 
Challenge is always going to come her way, but she talks about things. 
She’s like “oh mum what do you think I should do in this situation?” you know so we definitely talk. 
I’m really happy at the fact that she, so far, is comfortable to talk to me about anything that is going on in her brain. 
Whatever she feels is affecting her and changing the way that she’s feeling,
she’s comfortable enough to talk to me. 
And that’s a huge achievement compared to where she was before she started the programme and started her little journey. 

I was expecting her to like, um, push me away and not want to talk about it. 
But she was really open to talking more about it and making sure I was okay.
Mine and my mums relationship is way better than it used to be only because I talk to her more. 
My mum's like my best friend; I tell her everything. 

I think I haven’t got it down to a tee.
You know, I’m learning every day with every new problem that gets thrown at me. I’m learning. 
It feels good to be on the other side. 
One thing I probably wish I had have done better at the time would have been to talk to people about how I was feeling. 
As time has gone by, I suppose I’ve learnt that just as much as they’re learning from being born to walking and going to school, parents are learning too. 


In the middle of the day, a man sits on a chair in front of a pond, staring directly at the camera. Holding his hands over his chest in an emotive way.

Expressing ourselves is one way that we are able to reimagine our Wellbeing together. A creative piece written by Grace Iwashita-Taylor, performed by Allister Ngawati-Salaivao with music from Brandon Haru.

Expressing ourselves is one way that we are able to reimagine our wellbeing together. Enjoy a creative piece written by Grace Iwashita-Taylor and performed by All-star Ngawati-Salaivao with music by Brandon Haru.

Mana Pasifika: Wellbeing Reimagined | The Lowdown Aotearoa 

Wellbeing Reimagined

My wellbeing meets the world shifting
tilting, flips me sideways into unknown waters
confronts the rupturing, to known surroundings
throws me headfirst into a knowingness
My wellbeing has hard conversations
that bite the tongue of truth
heavy chest, betraying controlled breaths
a collection of rejections wet on my cheeks
My wellbeing is resilient
My wellbeing don’t need to prove nothing
Responds to indigenous healing
as a cup of tea after a mirimiri
Requires rest, needs a gentle place to rest its head
curls up in loved ones comfort
reimagines itself in the eye of the storm
is a world unbreaking itself
to re-remembering
My wellbeing is rebuilding balance
is Hauora
bravely finds all the scattered pieces
then raises its hand to ask for help
turns the bruising into a journey of healing
bold and brave 
and sometimes hard, but is learning
I am so much more than my hurt
My wellbeing breaks into generational trauma
knowing it is a taonga
to be passed down to my children’s children
is part of my nafa, whakapapa
My wellbeing maintains my whakapapa
is worthy, is seen, is loved
my wellbeing is love
is love reimagined
my wellbeing is your wellbeing
is reimagined wellbeing together
He tirohanga anamata

A person wearing a red and black hoodie, looking down, covering the top half of their face in the dark.

It’s normal to go through ups and downs and at times to feel sad and heavy, but depression is when that feeling of heavy sadness doesn’t go away. Instead it lasts longer, may get worse and often won’t get better without help. It can affect your ability to do everyday things, feel pleasure or take interest in activities. You may find it really hard to get out of bed in the morning or to do simple things like brushing your teeth, sending a text or going outside. Sometimes there are triggers for depression such as a break up, school stress, losing a loved one, social isolation, medication, family history and so on. You can also become depressed for no reason at all.

 but there are some common symptoms and feelings:

Struggling to do things that used to be a normal part of your life

Not wanting to do the things that you used to enjoy

If you’re feeling alone or too embarrassed to talk to someone about how you’re feeling, know that depression isn’t something to be ashamed of – 

is going through it with you. Conquering sadness or depression takes effort, and you shouldn’t try to do it alone.

We often tell ourselves that if we talk to someone, they will think we’re exaggerating our problems, being silly or giving them a burden to deal with. The thing is, this is almost never true! People care a lot more than we give them credit for, and if you speak to someone about what you’re struggling with, you’re likely to find that you have unlocked the bonus of a caring supportive person who will help you get through your tough times.

It’s important to note that sometimes the person you talk to may not offer you the help and support you need, but don’t give up there. Try again with someone else – your struggles are important and just because someone doesn’t listen or give you the help you need doesn’t mean what you’re facing isn’t real. The sooner you start getting help, the sooner you will start feeling better.

If you’re thinking about harming yourself or are having suicidal thoughts, 

to talk to someone who cares and can support you.

Sometimes life just sucks. It’s like you’re wading through mud – it’s heavy, it clings to you and weighs you down, making even simple actions like taking a step feel incredibly tough. 

Depression

Want to learn more about depression and mental distress? Find support, connect and learn at The Lowdown.

#Depression

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