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my gf

2 Replies Last post by AshleighC 1 month ago

randy9000 >> 14/07/2010 9:38am

my gf told me she doesnt love me or our son any more.
is this normal, any advice would be great.

Replies:

AshleighC >> 27/07/2010 2:29pm

Hey There!
Woah, sounds like she is a bit confused about somethings.
Sure she may want to feel like that at times, cause alot of women feel closed in, but i dont think that is any excuse to tell you she doesnt love you or your son. Do you think maybe if you talk to her, she will tell you why she said that? Maybe something had happened that was unrelated to family, that she just snapped. But in saying that, you also has to be careful that she hasn't been acting unusual, or different to every other day? maybe there is something seriously upsetting her..
Just talk to her, and if things get worse we are always here to help.
Kia Kaha, Hope this helps
Ashleigh x

Shana >> 14/07/2010 3:35pm

I think your missus might be going through a bit of depression i say you might need a brake, because she could start to hate you and I mean take your son with you too so she doesn't start to resent him, she could have anything from post natal depression to severe depression and you don't want to push her to the point where she is gonna hate the both of you, it is not normal for a mother to talk like that about her child if she means it, and post natal depression can follow one week after birth or one year, I say give her some space to breath on her own so she know what she really wants and if it's to the point she doesn't want to be with you, let her go because you'll be in a relaitonship of hate and resent and it'll all be a lie.

Hope this helps sorry if it sounds harsh I don't mean too.

my freind is going emo and getting hooked help me help her please

1 Reply Last post by Falcon 1 month ago

kyle1234 >> 22/07/2010 10:44pm

oh hey every1 im really worried for a mate she is one of my best she is 15 and she has completly changed but in a bad way i reallly want to help her can u give me some advice

Replies:

Falcon >> 26/07/2010 6:38pm

Hi there. You don't say what you mean by "going emo", but it is a turn of phrase that should be used very carefully. I could give you a whole comment of why, but that would not help with what you are asking.

To give advice one would really need to know more about the situation, but if you don't feel you can give any more details the best advice I can give is to talk to her and find out what is going on in her life to make her go this way. If you are really concerned for her safety then you need to talk to an adult you trust (yeah I know it's kind of crap advice 'coz it's hard to do and everyone says it)...She may not like it, but in the long run it is a lot better to have an angry friend, than ...well not have a friend.

If I can be more help then I will try my best. I've been there myself.

Take care.

My Mum makes me feel bad.

Last post by Stuckinarut 1 month ago

Stuckinarut >> 26/07/2010 3:57pm

Im now 16 and my mum has decided to do more for herself. But now that she has she doesn't do her role as mum anymore. I have to go to school, clean the house and work everynight. She is always "borrowing" money off me and never pays it back. She gets in fights with the family all the time and now Im isolated from them. She is contionously changing religions which confuses me and alters my lifestyle all the time. I recently suffered from depression but I feel it's coming back. Im so stressed that I feel like Im living with a constant headache and I just want to get angry and scream it all out. I have no one now to talk to. I try talking to my mum but she never wants to listen. She is continosly blame me for everything that goes wrong in her life and its just getting too much. When I try to ask for help she accuses me of being jealous of her new lifestyle. I need advice to get out of this rut because I'm at breaking point. Please help.

Self help work books are very good to help you understand

Last post by kittenz 2 months ago

kittenz >> 23/07/2010 7:28pm

Because i have anxiety i dont like taking medication, i have allergies to lot of antibiotics (well most antibiotics lol) and im scared i might have a rection to any pill i put in my mouth so i have chosen to try
and get on top of my depression with out medication, my doctor gave me a self help work book to fill in
and take back to him. When i first read it i went OMG that so makes sence now lol, so i recommend the
work books you can get them from your doctor and they are also so on www.outoftheblue.org.nz

although i highly recomend the work books, you should also get help from your doctor, family and friends
actually being able to tell someone how you feel (no matter how stupid it may sound) helps relieve that
feeling of pressure in you chest :)

Feeling empty and alone,just not happy anymore

3 Replies Last post by kittenz 2 months ago

laurenm17 >> 14/07/2010 1:21pm

About 3months ago I started taking antidepressants and haven't noticed any difference....actually feel worse.

Moved to NZ in 2001,made some friends at school but still wasn't very happy and had friends but no one who really understood how I felt. I tried to tell people but they just told me I'd get over it...it's just a phase.

Now I'm married,working full time and have no friends as I had a falling out with my friends who weren't very good friends anyways. My husband is making new friends and is very happy but I'm not and it is affecting everything I do.

My life is actually really sad, I don't have any friends, I don't like my career/work and just feel lost in general.

I have been so alone for such a long time I'm not even sure how to make friends anymore. I have friends but they're alot older. I think I would feel better about myself if I had friends to hang out with but not sure where to begin....

If anyone could help I would really appreciate it, I'd like to start feeling happier again as I am making everyone miserable around me :(

Replies:

kittenz >> 23/07/2010 7:01pm

hey....well i went to see my doctor when i was 15 about chest pains i was getting they done an ecg and told me nothing was showing that i was just muscle spasims.....but it was about 8mths ago i just couldnt cope anymore and i was seeing my nurse to have my blood pressure done because of some weight loss pills i was on and all she said was how have you been and i guess i couldnt pretend evething was ok anymore , i just started crying and told her everything, she made me an appointment to see my doctor who told me i suffer from anxiety and said to get counsiling to help me control it, but nut counseller wanted me to go back to my doc because she was concerned that i was also depressed, and sure enough i do, i know what you mean by one minuet you fell so happy and the next minuet u want to curl up in a ball and cry.

laurenm17 >> 19/07/2010 9:56pm

I didn't think anyone would reply to me as there are so many people out there struggling with this illness. Thanks for replying to me :)
I think I've had it for a long time but just haven't admitted it.
I feel really strange most of the time, I'm feeling happier and then suddenly a real come down and feeling extremely low and worthless and get really snappy at my husband and then he gets angry at me and then I feel worse :(
Doesn't help that I don't have any friends anymore and I don't have anyone around me who really understands how I'm feeling.Someones I burst into tears for no reason and find it really difficult to get up for work in the mornings just want to sleep all the time.

How did you find out that had anxiety and then depression?

kittenz >> 16/07/2010 10:10pm

hey if you want someone to talk to, talk to me on this board, i have had anxiety sinice i was 15 and have problems with depression at the moment, i sure could tell u some stiories about my anxiety that would make u laugh lol

Feels like no one cares

4 Replies Last post by hapychik2001 2 months ago

Whitney Rose >> 17/07/2010 8:30pm

I have been suffering with depression for the last 4 months and I'm really struggling. Sometimes I will just start crying for no reason and I will feel so down again, but I don't know why. I feel like none of my friends want to help me anymore. When I ask them if I can talk to them, they always say yes, but sometimes I feel like they are just saying yes for the sake of it, rather than actually wanting to talk to me to help me and support me. What do I do?

Replies:

hapychik2001 >> 22/07/2010 9:02pm

Im in the same boat, so many things going on... I have 3 kids and my baby boy was born blind and it has been soooo hard and I try to talk to people and no one cares, I have asked my partner for help but its like he is pretending to listen and doesn't listen at all. All my energy goes on everyone but myself and I am too exhausted to care now, i hate getting dressed cause I look terrible and then just get angry, then I cry and just no one cares!!!

shaedy >> 22/07/2010 7:27pm

it took me a while to build up the courage to talk to someone, and the someone turned out to be my best friend,and it turns out that she was going though it to,but she couldn't find any courage to tell anyone.we both desided to go and see our school support team because we didn't want anything to happen to each other, they helped alot and it felt good getting it off my cheast yet again.she told us to always have a back-up-person, i chose my grandpa(AKA gg), i told him too.me and my best friend are in the same class so it's easy for us to talk,and we txt and every now-and-then we talk on bebo or facebook.i also write in my diary,as stupid as it sounds it helped me though some tough times.i guess it's hard for me to really tell what caused all this and i haven't come to a conclusion yet but whatever it is i guess i'll have to dig deep.anyway the moral of my story is it helps to talk,who ever it is, and i'm always up for chat if you need to talk. :) :) :)xoxo

lostandconfused >> 21/07/2010 8:42pm

i've tried telling my friends how i feel, to be told its a stage that i will get over. you really need to talk to someone, cus even though it might get hard, it will get better after. make it really clear what you feel, and hopefully someone will get the point that whether its a stage or not, you need support cus its hitting you hard. i find that no one listens to me. i tried to talk to my best friend about how i felt, and she just kept pretending that i hadnt asked to talk privately. try to find someone that you trust, no matter who it is, and tell them how you feel. stage or not, we all still need help to get through it. i hope this helped. :) x

laurenm17 >> 19/07/2010 10:18pm

Whitney sounds like my day most days too! Unfortunately alot of people don't understand depression and that is really effects everything about a person,it even changes your personality.
You need to speak to someone neutral like a counsellor or friend who has been through it themselves as they understand how it affects you.
If you don't do any exercise at the moment I would suggest it as it does help take your mind off the depression and releases those happy feelings. I'm going to start walking the dog each day again,even though I'm tired and it's freezing outside getting out the house and just soaking in your surroundings helps.

If you need someone to talk to I'd be happy to help,there are lot of people on here who really seem to care alot :)

Will i ever get better?

1 Reply Last post by Falcon 2 months ago

0xHopefullx0 >> 20/07/2010 8:12pm

Im 21 & ive had depression for over 2 years now (thats just the time iv been on medication)and i feel like im never guna be 'normal'.
Im on the lowest dose with my anti-depressants and i thought i was getting better but then some little thing will happen and ill come crashing back down again....
the Drs told me its noraml for a persons emotions 2 go up and down but my down moods seem really bad...
How do i know when im better???
Or will i just be like this the rest of my life???

Replies:

Falcon >> 22/07/2010 8:39pm

Hi there, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through.
To answer your first question is difficult particularly to try and explain it in words. The easy out there would be to say "you will just know". The best way I can try to explain it from my experience is to say you will know because that old feeling of hope comes back. I don't know if everyone experiences it the same, but for me when I came out of the depression for a short while it was like a physical weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

As for the next question...try to have hope that you won't be. I can't promise that it will happen, but a lot of people (in fact a majority) go through depression and come out the other side and are happy again. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but its not worth dwelling on that unless that is diagnosed.

And hey the doctors are right, moods change and even in normal ones can be really major.

If you think I don't know what I'm talking about maybe you are right haha, but all I can say is I am 20, I was diagnosed at 15 with depression and they think I had it since 12. I have been off and on meds since 15 and last year I was diagnosed with Major Depression and I could be on meds for the rest of my life. But that is COULD be, gotta keep the hope that things will change. But trust me, I understand how hard it is.

Take care of yourself, if you want to talk more i will try and remember to check in here more often :)

why is it that I puss away people who are close to me?

Last post by shaedy 2 months ago

shaedy >> 22/07/2010 7:02pm

Every day I feel like I am pussing my family and friends away even though I am not trying to.Everytime I do this and I notice I feel worse!

why does it make me want to not eat?

Last post by shaedy 2 months ago

shaedy >> 22/07/2010 6:58pm

why does it make me not want to eat?

Where do i go from here?..

2 Replies Last post by tpfh 2 months ago

SeanR92 >> 18/07/2010 10:30pm

heres a short novel of how i ended up where i am...

So about 2 years ago i met this girl, fell madly in love, and one year later we split and i havent talked to her since..
from that split until today has been just one disappointment after another.
Two weeks after the break up, I rebounded onto a perfectly sweet girl and broke her heart after two and a half months when i realised i couldnt stay with her any longer because it would just make it harder for her and i was being selfish.
During the 6 months following that i had just indulged in parties and alcohol to try have fun being single, but ive always felt empty, no matter how much fun i was having, i could never feel full and properly happy again..
im still not over this girl completely and my confidence is at an all time low, how i ended up here i dont know exactly.
i used to be so charismatic and full of life, i have never spoke about this to anyone in my life as i tend to bottle emotions to spare myself judgement from others.
its just good to get this off my shoulders to people in similar situations.
so here i am now wondering is this it? how did i ever get to this point? and how the hell do i get out of here?...

cheers, sean.

Replies:

tpfh >> 22/07/2010 4:57pm

hey Sean,
yea thats how i got here too nearly exactly the same story ..
i am now going and talking to a councilor ever week now off loading everything to her and getting her response back
i use to think people would judge me, but now i have realized that they are not important to me aye and that this is my life ...
but people say we choose our paths ... i sure did not pick this ... i'm sure no one did but we will all get through this together :)
we all have our downs and shit and its AWESOME when we have our ups but we just have to keep pushing ourselves to the limit (that we can handle and not get hurt) .
you might never fully get over your girl but honestly you will never be alone she is your past now its time to go to the future and remember the good times because there what hold us together :)

hope you will be okay xx

Sarah x

Kaylaa.x >> 19/07/2010 6:33pm

i tend to bottle up my emotions/thoughts to. more because i dont like the thought of the awkward moment it would create and i dont know what to say than because im afraid.
i think one day you just end up here, and you dont really notice yourself slipping until your off the edge.
you get out of here by realizing that no matter how many people offer you help or how much you drink, how many pills you take, whatever you do to numb yourself. in the end.
your the only one who can fix this. no one else, not even the girl your in love with? (atleast thts how it was for me)
the sooner you know that and stop waiting around for things that may or may not ever happen the better.:)

things are just getting worse and worse

2 Replies Last post by Jay_JWLH 2 months ago

DDlovesyou >> 20/07/2010 2:59pm

im a very lost 14 year old girl.

things all started about 4 years ago... my parents split and i felt i had lost everything... i feel like my childhood was taken away from me at that point... the year after i moved schools and knew no body... i only made 3 friends out of the two years i was at intermediate. and now they dont wanna know me and i dont even know why... i dont think i did anything... last year was ok but i got caught up in the wrong crowd and i lost even more people i was close to... this year i have started dating... my BF at the moment doesnt know what to do because i am sad all the time... he tries to relate and tries to give me advice but i just makes me want to yell and scream at him because he just doesnt understand what im going through

i have held on to all of this for years but now im at the point where it is all building up inside and i cant control it anymore

does anyone have any advice???

Replies:

Jay_JWLH >> 22/07/2010 3:01am

I know your BF means well, but us guys don't like feeling like we are useless. We do try, and the first thing on our mind isn't that the solution is outside him and you. But even if talking to him isn't helping, and you are talking about it with somebody else, just let him know that he hasn't let you down by not being the one who is helping you get through this. However he is there for you to talk to if you need to, and I bet he would feel good to know that.

At your age, I am going to recommend your school counsellor. I have heard good and bad things, but they have got to be worth a shot for you. There are there for you, exactly for this reason, and I bet they would be glad to hear from you. All the effort it takes is whatever procedure that they have in place, like have an appointment. In my school, I think you could drop a piece of paper into a letter sized hole, and they would then take you out of class when convenient for you. After talking to one, everything might seem a little awkward, but once you get talking you're on your way.

Is a school counsellor not for you? Then that is okay, there might be somebody else out there that you might try talking to. Anybody that you can trust, like a friend who can take you seriously, or a family member who you have talked with once before. I can't be sure who you are going to pick, but it is worth a shot.

If you want, you can talk about what is wrong on here. I'm sure this is a good place for a collection of understanding people, who will read what you have to say, and get back to you.

lostandconfused >> 21/07/2010 8:30pm

i feel the same. im 14 and i started high school last year knowing virtually no one. everyone pretty much had there friends already so it was hard to make friends, and it still is. try talking to your BF, and if you feel like you want to scream, tell him that you want to scream, or write a letter to get your whole story out. trust me, i know what your going through, but i don't have anyone to talk to. i felt like i had no friends for 3 and a half years. i still feel like that but you need to think. is there someone who is nice to you? try to seperate yourself from your feelings and try to see yourself from the view of someone else. you may be surprised.

no life

3 Replies Last post by 0xHopefullx0 2 months ago

cindy >> 15/07/2010 9:26pm

every 1 seems to have a life but me

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0xHopefullx0 >> 20/07/2010 8:31pm

Im the same iv never really had many friends and seem 2 fall out with them, find a new friend and fall out or move on from them and it just goes round in a circle. i find it hard 2 make new friends its the akward stage from meeting some one,from work or sports or whatever, to actually saying hey do you wana hangout.
i know what you mean everyone else seems 2 have a life going out doing stuff having fun always busy and all i ever do is sit at home i feel lik im wasting my life not living it.....
I work hard at trying 2 meet people as ive just moved 2 a new town, i try & go out and join clubs or sports something that im interested in so i can meet people with the same likes. its still really hard and gets you down

laurenm17 >> 19/07/2010 10:10pm

Cindy- I'm in the same situation at the moment,have been for a few years.I have no friends no own age and my husband makes friends really easily and I just can't seem to meet people.
I look like someone who would have a lot of friends but honestly have zippo...so boys weekends/nights are really sucky for me. So you're not alone there are alot of people out there with no friends just trying to carry on as best they can,hoping to meet people with common interests.Generally speaking I'd like to live in a small town rather than the big city.
I have thought about internet groups to meet people but then I thought wow that's really lame and it would be so awkward meeting them in person....

Kaylaa.x >> 19/07/2010 6:35pm

appearances are decieving.
speaking from experience.

depressed

3 Replies Last post by lonelygirl101 2 months ago

lonelygirl101 >> 19/07/2010 10:24pm

I lost my nana in october 2009, and on top of that we moved to
a different town so i had to make new friends,
and then in february 2010 i lost my mum.
My life has gone down hill since then, i have also been to three different
colleqes but i cant seem to find the friends i need.
Im only fourteen and i have dealt with soo much in my life i
have a 9 year old brother, a 17 year old sister and a 8 month old niece and
I feel like im the one that has to look after them.

My parents were engaged but since my mum has been gone it feels
as if my dad is neglecting us i fight with him nearly everyday and
he's never home. Just recently i found out he has been seeing another
woman and i dont feel like its right it has only been 5months
and he is still calling my mum his wife.
I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I feel lonely, im always crying, im not myself, I always shut people out, im moody,i think im depressed,
i need help??

Replies:

lonelygirl101 >> 20/07/2010 6:38pm

I have tried on several occasions to talk to my dad but he pushes me away everytime or calls me names such as, selfish, spoilt, manipulative ect. I feel like no one , nothing.
My sister has problems of her own and wont take the time of day to
listen to mine but i dont blame her.
I feel like they dont care about my dad
but with me it is really hard not to care i was "mummys lil girl."
Another thing my dad does is threaten to ring the police on me
when its unneccessary.

Thanks for you support .

DDlovesyou >> 20/07/2010 2:19pm

hey...

i can slightly relate... not to loosing one of my parents (i am very sorry to hear that) but my parents are divorsed and i dont see my dad at all (he is dead to me). my mum is never home and i feel like i have to look after my younger sister all the time and when i do see her we just fight too. i recommend that you just sit down with your dad and tell him what you think about all of this. maybe have someone (a family friend or a family member) just to make sure you both dont loose the plot (if you know what i mean). i did this and things are slightly better. i am 14 too and i know how much presure this puts on you.

i hope this helps a little

Love Dita

wolfie17 >> 20/07/2010 2:09pm

you definately sound like youve got depression and in a family it can often feel like the whole thing is bearing down on you... try talking to your sister and see how she feels about the whole experience,you may find that she is feeling the same... problems with your father are another matter... maybe he is seeing another woman because he is trying to cope with the pain of losing your mother, it is not uncommon for people to reach out to in times of sorrow or pain because the other individual is often willing or trying to help them, try pulling him aside one day and having a good heart to heart talk with him, find out how he feels and make sure he realises how you feel

wolfie

I feel like it will never get better

1 Reply Last post by wolfie17 2 months ago

sad1234 >> 19/07/2010 2:53am

Hi, I am an 18 yo female. I live with my Mum and my Sister in quite a nice house. I have a well paying job.

But there is a dark cloud over my life I can't seem to shift and its making it harder and harder each day to keep on going. I've been seriously unhappy for 2 years now, obviously there are times when everything seems OK and I feel alright, but then there are the times where I feel absolutely hopeless, like nothing in the world could make me feel better. For the past couple of months I have been feeling absolutely hopeless, and I'm just not sure what to do anymore.

It is unbelievably hard to get out of bed in the morning. EVERY morning I wake up and I just feel so sad, like there is nothing to be happy about. Nothing worth living for. I just want to stay in bed and sleep all the time. I am just SO tired ALL the time. I hate going to work, I don't want to work. It is tireing putting on an act at work or when I go out, so I just want to be alone, so I can be unhappy. I feel embarrased that I am this unhappy, like it isn't normal. I don't want to talk to anyody about it because I feel as though nobody will understand, that I will be looked at as if I am a 18 yr old girl over reacting about something stupid and that I will be fine in a week.

I have a bad relationship with my Mum. I find it hard to get along with her, we fight whenever we talk. Sometimes it is because I am rude, but I'm not sorry that I am. I feel like I am holding onto a lot of feelings that have to do with my Mum. I hate her and I don't want to care, and I get so upset that I do care.

My Father wasn't around when I was growing up and though I see him now we don't have a close relationship. I have 1 or 2 close friends, but find it hard to make new friends due to the fact that I'm just not intrested in having any. I've lost interest in almost everything in my life.

I have very low self confidence and get anxious when I leave the house. I don't like people looking at me or noticing me. I don't have any goals or ambitions, I don't want to do anytihng in the future. I'm not intrested in having a family or having a career.

So what am I living for?
I don't know anymore.

Replies:

wolfie17 >> 20/07/2010 2:12pm

try taking up a hobby, not something expensive or anything like that, just something to help you tune the world out for awhile, i mean... it may seem weird at first but try tuning your radio until it is just white noise (static) and then turn the volume up and forget the world for as long as you can tolerate the incessant buzzing... it works :) sometimes, it depends on what kind of a person you are

Friendless

1 Reply Last post by laurenm17 2 months ago

xSarahx >> 11/07/2010 10:26pm

Hi guys,
I use to have heaps of friends who really loved me but we have grown apart but they have stuck together. I would look for new friends but I'm scared, I have very low self esteem right now :(.

I have been sick for 3 weeks and I'm in the middle of a 2 week holiday I'm scared to got back to school please help me.

Sarah

Replies:

laurenm17 >> 19/07/2010 10:05pm

Hey Sarah,

Know how you feel I'm friendless too!
My friends grew apart from me too and they were immature and made me feel bad about myself.
I'm scared too I don't know where to find people and too afraid that I'll say too much about my issues and they'll run away.
Maybe take up some sports/activity at school to make new friends,it'll be easier with an activity as you won't even notice you're making friends. Wish I was still at school it's much easier to meet people there.

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