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Noone cares.

1 Reply Last post by julz 2 years ago

danielle123 >> 18/09/2011 11:55pm

All I want to do is lock myself in my room and cry - if I do that, my friends get angry at me for shutting them out 'for no reason'. But if I spend time with them, I'm such a downer that I can't imagine any one would want to be around me. No one understands how depressed I feel,all the time - even when I try talk to my friends and family about it, they say "you'll get over it" "it'll be fine soon" etc which really only makes it worse. I recently celebrated a birthday - well, celebrated is the wrong word to use. Virtually my whole family forgot about it, and none of my friends made my day 'special' at all. In fact, I got treated as though I didn't exist, just like every other day.
HELP !?

Replies:

julz >> 20/09/2011 10:14pm

I can understand how you must feel. My family has been so busy they never noticed the way I was or felt. It must be hard and you need to know 'you are allowed to feel depressed'. I do not know if I am saying the 'right' things to you only what I know from my 'experiences'. The problem I faced is I didn't 'get over it' because it wasn't something I was dealing with it was something I wasn't dealing with. I urge you to contact someone.

Even if you don't want to talk about it. You have made the first step by saying it allowed. That took me 4 years to do. Sometimes fear and anxiety, clouds who we are because we are so busy focusing on how we 'should' act for everyone else and forget ourselves.

I hope this is helpful. Let me know if you want to talk or just tell me to F* off I don't know what I am talking about.

But if you ever think of hurting yourself the one thing they never say at school is there are alternatives that give you the same control such as holding a big chunk of ice in your hand and clenching it so hard. It is painful and you can control that pain but it doesn't harm you long-term and no one can tell.

I can't break up with boyfriend even though I know I need to.

Last post by julz 2 years ago

julz >> 20/09/2011 10:03pm

My partner and I have been together for 4 years. I am studying at uni and he is in another city so we have been doing long distance. Just for so long it is me who has to do everything and my anxiety attacks don't help because I always feel responsible for everything he does/ doesn't do even when I am not there. I have to drive down to see him, and when I get there he won't even say hi to me, just keeps playing his games. And then I go and buy him food because he can't afford it and do all the housework. He hasn't talked to me ( a real conversation) in years and I am so tired. I have told him for the last 2 years something has to change. I am just so tired. But I can't hurt him. It's my fault I am not strong enough

Help group??

1 Reply Last post by Becca_jay 2 years ago

Sammy:) >> 14/09/2011 12:17pm

Hi there,

I don't really know where exactly to begin, but I thought here might be a good start. I was wondering if there is any support groups in NZ where people who have depression can meet up, make friends and talk to each other about what we're going through.

I don't want to see a counciller because they're always really old and I want to be able to talk to people my own age (I'm 21). I already have heaps of friends, a busy social life and a bf but there isn't anyone I feel I can talk to who can really RELATE to my situation and there is this weird stereotype that people who have depression are freaks, loners, etc but I'm anything but.

Does anybody know of any groups?
I live in Dunedin.

Thanks,
Sammy xx

Replies:

Becca_jay >> 20/09/2011 5:21pm

i live in dunedin too. theres none that i know about but i could be wrong. i know exactly what you mean. i had plenty of mates and stuff but i dont really think any of them would understand. you could email me sometime if you wanted to.

georginajannings@gmail.com

Georgie =]

feel like i just want to run away

1 Reply Last post by chontelelia-peters 2 years ago

anonymousb16 >> 13/09/2011 7:34pm

i have a boyfriend who i know loves me and i dont know what i would do without him after my whole life of growing up has been hard travelling to several different houses with stranges being in cyfs care he knows i dont know my dad and my troubles with my mum. but iv had these nasty girls trying to ruin our relationship and spreading rumours around it bugs me cause they really have no idea what iv been through and im sick of it, iv always put on a tough act my friends have never seen me cry and they always say how tough i am but latly this year being with my bf iv turned into a softy and it bugging me cause usually i would never care about stuff like this. it makes me feel like i want to just leave everyone and run away and start somewer new but i know i cant do that so now im just lost in what to do and how to act about this

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chontelelia-peters >> 20/09/2011 5:20pm

I sometimes find it difficult when my parents find out that ive done something wrong, but theres a good side to it and all they say is "NO i've heard enough"
they never ask if there was a specific reason for me doing that, they just assume and assume and assume so i just feel like running away. If i run away though is that making the solution easier or harder ??? so thats why i feel like running away but i dont due to my parents getting angrier than usual????

My past is haunting me and I hate it!.

1 Reply Last post by jasmineT 2 years ago

gutted08 >> 17/09/2011 6:34pm

I cant keep a relationship any longer than 3 months without ruining it beause I eventually become overly emotional. I want to forget my past and move forward but its scarred me for life and I hate it!!!

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jasmineT >> 19/09/2011 10:36pm

You can never forget your past, but you also cant let your past determin your future. Life can be hard and everyone goes through rough patches but not dealing with it makes the problem stay around. Id say talk to someone about your past, get it sorted so it doesnt have as much of an affect on you anymore and then try again and see what was really making you act that way :)

How do u stop the tears?

3 Replies Last post by nessaleigh 2 years ago

wasted.talent >> 12/09/2011 7:34pm

This year really hasn't been my year. 4months ago my long-term bf broke my heart into more than a million pieces, it was out the blue and not expected. I applied for a few jobs in H-town and got offered one, so I moved from my home town straight from his place to here, where I had no friends or family here and moved into a new flat with people i didnt know and started a new job.

Everyone kept telling me it was for the best to move away and get a fresh start. I belived them, but ive been here 4months and I still cry almost every day, and it not light sobs its heavy break downs where I cant breathe.

EVerything seems to be going from bad to worse, having had hours cut to an almost unliveable amount.
I know everyone is getting sick of my talking about my ex and cryin etc... but it honestly has been so hard going through all that and not having any close support to help me get through.

Ive been through another heart break after a pervious failed long term relationship but I was NEVER like this or this bad. This really has had such an impact on me. I cry on my lucnh breaks at work then cover up with make up so ono-one notices.

I just feel so down and miserable. I used to always be happy and smiling and carefree and now im just stressed and really struggle to smile.

I dont have thoughts of hurting myself or anything like that, I am really beyond down. its the worst feeling ever and I would never wish anyone to feel this pain and heart break.

so my question is how do u stop the tears?

Replies:

nessaleigh >> 19/09/2011 10:29pm

Its ok to cry, you are grieving the loss of your b-f. yes hes not dead but you will still grieve, it will heal just takes time best wishes to you =)

Depak >> 13/09/2011 5:22pm

Hey. Be happy for memories. You found love and are a reference point for other wanting to be in love. Put on Dogma warm up thin Mcains chips (plate full). Have another plate and make two salad samis with any white or brown bread and have the avo off. Enjoy you. you have a job. fantastic. Dont worry about I have to go out, or I dont wont to chase people. be yourself anyway. People will warm to you, everyone is nice; and I know you'll find love again. You have hope. Its just peering to get through. Make sure you find out online peps (incl. me) before you hang out with those people. Bless you and I know you'll be fine. be patient and be in contact with someone you really are close with. Even a ring to start off with. Plan a friday at the end of a week (randomly). I use to do this during my seventh form for while in 2006. God speed my fello comrade. Depak

Depak >> 13/09/2011 5:08pm

Know what your situation is and write it down. I'm successfully recovered from a psychosis and the basis was no hope, no job, and no love in my life. Think about what it would be like if you had never met the guy. Or you met him like an episode in friends. Remember your had life memories through love (an actual relationship) and pat yourself for that. You are a role model and reference to people struggling to find love. You can play music which you find is inspirational and makes you feel excited. I play music that feels hope and children and makes me excited so much I want to to stand up comedy (childhood dream) because I'm so happy. Spend time with people who treat you with respect. Dont worry about comparing not chasing people or I have to go out. Be yourself at home and when socializing. Let people either accecpt or reject you as I know you and everyone is nice. We just have bad patches. Running late for a bus etc. I hope this was a kick start. Play out crying if you want. Make sure you dont text or cyber chat to someone with emotions. Let it out face to face with someone. Put on "i want to right you a love song..." or something like a movie and ring your mum or sit with a flat mate or someone you can rely on. Be patient. The key is make sure the person is meaningful you can trust them enough to cry and not get mocked. Pig out for one day. You have a job - congrats 9hands clapping]. so happy. make salad samis and microwave whole plate of thin MCains chips. have two plates. one with two salad samis and one with thin chips (frozen.). i use to watch Indiana Jones with this meal every month for a little while after i left high school while studying and looking for regular work. Disturbia is a good one. My favourite is Dogma. Oh yeah. [Alanas claps her hands].

is 17 ment to be this hard?

1 Reply Last post by haydz19 2 years ago

alanakoornneef >> 14/09/2011 2:33pm

Im 17 years old, and im sure its not ment to be this hard. My parents split up 2 years ago and are going through a divorce. When they first split up i went with my dad who was currently doing home detention. ever since then my mum has cut me and my older sister off, and kept me, my dad and my older sister from seeing our sister who lives with our mum. She and i have always been close, and because she has severe disabilities meaning she cant walk or talk, i havent seen her in months. To make thigs worse my mum has a new boyfriend who doesnt like any of us 3 kids so my stupid mother has cut us off, and is sending the disabled one off to some home where she wont be aroud family. My mum stole things from my dad after the seperation, which has ment everything has gone to court. its so hard for me, as i am stuck in the middle of everything and cant get away from it. I tried moving out from my dads as he was getting angry at me about my mum, but that made matters worse. I dont really know what to do anymore, everything i do makes my family upset or angry. its so hard.

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haydz19 >> 19/09/2011 10:59am

sounds much like the same as ive gone thru im 19 and have watched my farther go thru to marriges. now the worst thing is when you get stuck in the middle. now i dont talk to my real mum or step mum because they both lied to my father and my step mum stole money and so forth. i found that its alot easier to move out and give the family time to think about what they have done and that has worked really well in my case because after two years of me being out of home im now talking to my father again and we are getting along quite good.

as you say you have tried to move out and made thins worse and in some cases that does happen but what i think would help you out would be to try and get your dad to sit down with you one on one and for you to talk to him about your feeling and just say to him about how much its affecting you. i will be honest it may not work strait away but atleast he would have abit of an idea is to how you feel.
do you have any hobbie that you really enjoy if you do keep doing that but maybe do it abit more and you should notice abit of a difference. you could also find someone that is not a family member that you really trust and try getting them to sit down and listen to you and that has helped me quite abit ae so hope all goes well please keep me informed as how you are going with the advice that i have given

thanks and good luck

What do I do?

1 Reply Last post by rcoghlan 2 years ago

Status >> 17/08/2011 7:16pm

I dont know what to do, ive got nearly all the symptoms but if i admit i have depression it affects my jobs quite severely :( the problem is its effecting it at the moment the lack of concentration and confidence has caused me to make little errors that might lead to me losing my job. i feel likes theres no one to take to cause they just say you'll feel better soon, i get panic attack and anxiety at least three times a day its just all hitting me at the same time plus i have to move to wellington in two weeks the stress is hard to cope with.

what should i do? how can i beat this?

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rcoghlan >> 16/09/2011 11:09pm

one of the hardist things to deal with when suffring from a mental illness is stigma and being discrimanated agaisnt. for a start it is illgeal for this to happen under the human right act an employer can not discrimanate aganist you because of mental ilness, it is also important to remember that there is light at the nd of the tunnel and the faster you get help and support the better the outcome, it can be frightning to face up to a deral with a mental illness i cant stress enof how ipmortant it is that you do seek help another important thing you can do is find out is much as you can about depression the more knowlage you have about the illness the more power you will hold over it you will grow to understand why you feel the way you do and lrean skills to deal with thosse feelings before they become to over whelming, note that a menatl illness does not define who you are with the right management you will be able to lead just as normal life as any one else.. dont be ashamed nor scared you are brave and have showen that you are already taking the lead you hold the power remember that i wish you al the best let me know if i have help or you need anything else.

Theres this girl I like.

1 Reply Last post by Depak 2 years ago

imabitdown >> 10/09/2011 6:57pm

Theres this girl I like at school and we used to be real good friends but shes not as nice to me as she used to be and now shes real tight with my best friend, what can i do? (oh and my best friend has no interest in her, not like I do)

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Depak >> 16/09/2011 2:17pm

Be yourself. Its not a game. If you know theres heat there ask her out. dont have to though. dont pressure yourself. shes already your friend.

Son

Last post by debmum 2 years ago

debmum >> 16/09/2011 10:29am

my almost 19 year old son needs help but says he dosnt.its a long story, but i am really struggling to keep him on track, he has recently come home after taking off a year ago, whenever things go bad he ups and leaves! he has no job no possesions, is in trouble with the law, we are really trying to support him, but his attitude towards life is becoming very frustrating, im pretty sure he needs some profesional help but i dont know how to go about it, to be honest i dont know how much longer he can stay with us as it affecting the entire family. he dosnt like talking, he never has and i get scared thinking about where he will end up. any suggestions please?

Voices

1 Reply Last post by rcoghlan 2 years ago

livingbipolar >> 11/09/2011 10:05pm

Has anyone found the key to making sence of the voices and going on's in there head,
they are there, i can some times relate them to songs or really sick jokes, (sick but funny) but most of the time the make no sence and just piss me off
Seroquel has been working a treat til lately, but i have had to up the dose, which would mean things are getting worrse

can anyone help me out, its driving me right to the edge.

cheers

Replies:

rcoghlan >> 16/09/2011 6:11am

kia ora, speak back to them let them know you are in control and ask them to leave. i sugest that you also seek information about bi-polor and vocies to help you better understand the cause off the vocies. i understand that expercing thesse vocies can be destressing ensure that you have good support from family friends socail workers support workers and of course this site. remeber that you are amzing and that you will get better.

i dont know what im doing

8 Replies Last post by Kana 2 years ago

waiting >> 12/09/2011 1:36pm

i dont know what im doing with my life, i feel like to much of a cow to do anything, i feel so useless and angry at myself for feeling like this but its so hard to do anything.

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Kana >> 14/09/2011 8:46pm

I feel like this too. I feel like my life has no purpose, but in my heart I know I'm meant to do something. Right now, I feel like I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that's what frustrates me the most. I've always been someone who had a plan and was certain about things, but all of a sudden, this year hasn't been the greatest for me at all. I hope one day we both find and realise that we need to be doing in our own lives. It sucks feeling this way.

Kana >> 14/09/2011 8:46pm

I feel like this too. I feel like my life has no purpose, but in my heart I know I'm meant to do something. Right now, I feel like I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that's what frustrates me the most. I've always been someone who had a plan and was certain about things, but all of a sudden, this year hasn't been the greatest for me at all. I hope one day we both find and realise that we need to be doing in our own lives. It sucks feeling this way.

Kana >> 14/09/2011 8:46pm

I feel like this too. I feel like my life has no purpose, but in my heart I know I'm meant to do something. Right now, I feel like I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that's what frustrates me the most. I've always been someone who had a plan and was certain about things, but all of a sudden, this year hasn't been the greatest for me at all. I hope one day we both find and realise that we need to be doing in our own lives. It sucks feeling this way.

Kana >> 14/09/2011 8:46pm

I feel like this too. I feel like my life has no purpose, but in my heart I know I'm meant to do something. Right now, I feel like I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that's what frustrates me the most. I've always been someone who had a plan and was certain about things, but all of a sudden, this year hasn't been the greatest for me at all. I hope one day we both find and realise that we need to be doing in our own lives. It sucks feeling this way.

Kana >> 14/09/2011 8:45pm

I feel like this too. I feel like my life has no purpose, but in my heart I know I'm meant to do something. Right now, I feel like I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that's what frustrates me the most. I've always been someone who had a plan and was certain about things, but all of a sudden, this year hasn't been the greatest for me at all. I hope one day we both find and realise that we need to be doing in our own lives. It sucks feeling this way.

Kana >> 14/09/2011 8:45pm

I feel like this too. I feel like my life has no purpose, but in my heart I know I'm meant to do something. Right now, I feel like I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that's what frustrates me the most. I've always been someone who had a plan and was certain about things, but all of a sudden, this year hasn't been the greatest for me at all. I hope one day we both find and realise that we need to be doing in our own lives. It sucks feeling this way.

Kana >> 14/09/2011 8:45pm

I feel like this too. I feel like my life has no purpose, but in my heart I know I'm meant to do something. Right now, I feel like I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that's what frustrates me the most. I've always been someone who had a plan and was certain about things, but all of a sudden, this year hasn't been the greatest for me at all. I hope one day we both find and realise that we need to be doing in our own lives. It sucks feeling this way.

Kana >> 14/09/2011 8:45pm

I feel like this too. I feel like my life has no purpose, but in my heart I know I'm meant to do something. Right now, I feel like I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that's what frustrates me the most. I've always been someone who had a plan and was certain about things, but all of a sudden, this year hasn't been the greatest for me at all. I hope one day we both find and realise that we need to be doing in our own lives. It sucks feeling this way.

School or work?

Last post by Kana 2 years ago

Kana >> 14/09/2011 8:23pm

High school has recently become one of the most challenging things for me. I've always been blanaced academically and athlecially, but because I've moved so much, the school systems change and I find myself, a nineteen year old, still trying to complete year 12.

It's a complicated story as to how I am still in high school, but the point is, is that I feel too old to be in high school. It makes me not want to continue until I have graduated, but there just feels like no point anymore. I don't want to be a drop out, but I feel like I'm running out of fuel to finish year 12.

I just dont know where to go anymore, and my life feels like there are no goals that I can reach. I don't want to sit around and do nothing, but I cant figure out if I should just do one more year of year 12, or work?!

Scared of losing my girl

2 Replies Last post by hiriaw 2 years ago

Grommit43 >> 06/09/2011 11:03am

Ive been seing this girl for about 4 months now and am seriously in love with her.. i no she likes me a lot but not confident its what im feeling for her. for example she doesnt want us to be called boy/girlfriend cos of upsettn her ex.. im have serious doubts in terms of her cheating on me with her ex.. please help me wid anythn at all.. im hurtn

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hiriaw >> 13/09/2011 1:14pm

the question u should be asking yourself is"will she respect my feelings in our relationship?". its clear u aint happy with the results in your relationship and its because u are trying to keep her feelings happy other than yourself.

you need to think"is she all i want?"and if she is..let her know how u feel about the decisions she make and to be straight up when it comes to trust.

do what makes you happy, and talk about your feelings to her. if she loves you she will listen and respect you. if she say"but i dont want to hurt him"..then obviously she aint thinking about the one who is hurt..YOU

Natasha98 >> 07/09/2011 12:29pm

How long ago did her relationship end with her ex? It could be a case of her not really being over him. Or she is worried about the repercussions of him finding out that she has moved on. 4 months isnt a lot of time to seriously fall in love with someone. I just ended a 4 month relationship with a guy that felt that way for me and things started moving way to quickly and he started pressuring me and not liking it when he didnt get his own way - eg moving in together, I told him I wasnt ready because I had been in a very serious relationship previously and I wanted to make my own home, have my space and fully get back on my own feet. He didnt like that and I noticed a lot of things like him lying and turning my friends and family agaisnt me. So I ended it for those reasons and he told everybody that I left him for my ex. Im not saying you are like him, Im sayig maybe you need to talk to her and find out the reasons why she doesnt want to be called boy/girlfriend and why she is worried about the ex finding out. It might not necessarily mean shes still in love with him and going to cheat on you. Maybe she just wants to take things slowly and doesnt want her ex to know so that he doesnt cause any shit. But also, for your one sake make sure you are'nt just a re-bound. Again that comes down to finding out her reasons and where she is at and how long the relationship has been over. Take care. Be careful. And at the end of the day if its meant to be, it will be.

Confused and lost, where am i going to start again?

1 Reply Last post by Matua 2 years ago

tine26 >> 09/09/2011 11:06am

How am i going to start a new and helathy life?

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Matua >> 13/09/2011 11:17am

Please see your doctor and tell him what you're going through, if you havent already. He is sworn to confidentiality, (he'll never tell anyone), and he'll know what you need and where to find the right support for you and your family. Lerning about your sister's abuse must've been very damaging to you and your whole family. You have to talk about it with someone, (maybe a counsellor or support group), to start the healing process. Remember, it's not your fault. It's like being in a train crash. You didn't have any control over it. Your doctor might be able to provide some anti-depressant meds to help you cope in the meantime. You have to let the doctor or midwife know what you're going through, so you can get some support, (especially when the baby comes). They have to know, o.k. Maybe a social worker too, that can help your family. Dissabilty support worker for you and your partner? You can't change things that happened or the decisions you made in the past, just learn from them and build your future with your new knowledge and keep getting better.

Welcome to our latest member: Dillema