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OCD

Last post by toomuch2012 1 year ago

toomuch2012 >> 26/01/2012 9:16pm

my life was going pretty well then i started to have thoughts of getting cancer and other diseases and started to really worry about germs and its gotten so bad that i can never go out alone incase i have to touch something that alot of people touch like door handles and hand rails, my family has mentioned that i have OCD but that scares me so much i wont go to the doctors, its too the point that i dont want to go back to school cause then i will have to shake peoples hands and share spaces that there are germs and there being situations that i can not control... i just dont know what to do anymore

Time for a change??

Last post by Stacee 1 year ago

Stacee >> 26/01/2012 9:09pm

Don't know where to start really, I normally just keep things to my self. I'm a 26 year old single mum and I love my daughter more than any thing in this world. I have issues with my daughters father and his wife. I also have issues with my weight and that's from being constantly told Im fat anad that I should look like some one Im not from nearly every guy I have dated. I have low self esteem and don't feel attractive. I have trouble making new friends and my friends I have known for years don't seem to be there when I need some one to talk to even tho when they need me they expect me to drop every thing to help them with their problems. I had a car accident last year, a week before christmas. I lost control of my car and ended up upside down in a ditch on the motor way. No one was seriously injured but my mum had wip lash from the seat belt and was in a fair bit of pain for a while. Even tho I had no control over the car and it was an accident I feel alot of guilt because my mum did get hurt and she is the last person I ever wanted to hurt. No one blames me for the accident but still have guilt. I feel like it's time for a change in my life but don't know where to start and also what to change......

Home Alone , Really Alone.

2 Replies Last post by estrella 1 year ago

LoveMeNot >> 08/01/2012 12:18am

Yeeeah theres times where you feel really alone at home when theres actully nobody home .... But what are you suppost to do if you feel alone even when your not. If this makes any since too yu Gives a chat , Cause i really dont know what to do as ive just had to move to a friends house due to abuse.

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estrella >> 19/01/2012 11:06pm

i know what you mean. i live with my partner and friend and i feel more alone when they are around then when i am acutally by myself. when i actually get the house to myself i try do something for me. but when they are around i dont want to do anything because im so worried about what my partner will think because he has been so unsupportive lately so i can understand what you mean by you feel more alone than when you are with people then why you are by yourself.

estrella >> 19/01/2012 11:05pm

i know what you mean. i live with my partner and friend and i feel more alone when they are around then when i am acutally by myself. when i actually get the house to myself i try do something for me. but when they are around i dont want to do anything because im so worried about what my partner will think because he has been so unsupportive lately so i can understand what you mean by you feel more alone than when you are with people then why you are by yourself.

Cant stop the thinking!!!

2 Replies Last post by deedee2011 1 year ago

BNM >> 24/09/2011 12:07am

Me and my ex wants to stay friends and i just wants it to be like i first met him. Being best friends... we talked today.... as we havent talked in ages. I loved talking to him but now at the end of the day im just thinking of the bad things. I wish i can stop thinking about the bad things that happened, and just think of the good and what good will come. I want to trust him and no one else but i cant stop thinking of the bad things!!!

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deedee2011 >> 19/01/2012 4:31pm

This has happened to me to i even tryed moveing towns to get away freash stsrt and block the thoughts out the best way iv learnt is to face them talk about them and be blunt with them do not let it build up!!! If that dosnst work you deseve better

emisty >> 26/09/2011 2:34am

Hey, Im exactly the same with my ex. He said to stay friends and he moved on straight away...he always tells me to only remember the "good memories" and i do but most often after speaking to him its always remembering the good THEN the bad memories come flooding back and i remember how much he hurt me. I think trust is something that should be earnt and if he's hurt you that much in the past give things time so trust can develop again and the pain will lessen. it takes two people to make a successful relationship, this is something ive learnt and even though im still in love with my ex too i know hes moved on and hopefully we will both get over our ex's and find our mr rights. Good Luck!

RUNAWAY!

Last post by deedee2011 1 year ago

deedee2011 >> 19/01/2012 4:26pm

Iv got a long history of bad relationship but seem to always go for the same types finally i have found someone who not that i no of has done anything to betray me.... I feel like a freak because i never forget about the past have no trust and can sit for hours and think of stuff that has happened might happen and i have susppisions, my partner is a natural flirt and enjoys others looking wanting and trying to get with them even tho dosnt act on it just leads them on i feel i cant be without this relationship but then it feels its doing me worse soon im going to pack up and runaway! My deppression is taking over!

Feeling like crap, and useless

2 Replies Last post by J3R3MY 1 year ago

Sumthingfishy >> 27/12/2011 12:42pm

I know that there is a few people that have this issue, but I just want to be able to talk to someone about it. I can't really talk to anyone in my family because they will just tell dad the issue - and my issue is with dad. I feel like ever since my sister left, everything I do is never good enough for him - i've just given up on everything. When playing tennis, I see others with their parents cheering them on and when I try to find my dad he is never there, he's just sitting in the car or when he is there he always looks so disaproving even though he wanted me to play tennis. It's be like this with every sport and it's getting harder as the years go on.

Everytime I look at him, he just makes me so angry and he makes me feel so useless and unwanted. He'll talk to mum loudly saying how crap I am. I'm in University next year, and he told me he wouldn't support me which makes it really difficult cause I don't qualify for Student Allowance. He wanted me to find a job, and I was looking in which most employers weren't responding back to me. He knows this but yet he doesn't care.

When he is home, I just sit in my room and think about what could've been and wishing I had a better father or had not been born at all. I know this is bad, depression maybe? but i only think that when he's around. I'm supposed to be going away with some mates for a week or two today, and he said good, and that he wanted to get rid of me, all because I couldn't find a job.

Anyways, it feels kinda good to be able to write it all down and get it off my chest, hopefully this trip will help.

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J3R3MY >> 19/01/2012 11:18am

the same applies to my father, he has no real interest in me, his only son, and sees me as a failure, every time i play a sport he never watches nor motivates me, he constantly tells me that he and my sisters had accomplished so much at my age, the thing i do is grit my teeth, my father will never be proud of me, i have accepted that, but that shouldnt stop you from being proud of yourself, the presence of my father has been of constant negativity, i am alright at sports but he thinks i should be better, i am alright at english and maths but he thinks i need to be the top, dont live up to your fathers expectations, live up to your own, because in the end, only you need to be happy with what you have done, not a selfish man who wishes he has a better son when really PERFECT son is right in front of his eyes, he needs to love you and respect you for what you are, and if he doesnt, he cant be called a father

pixieeeee >> 08/01/2012 12:02am

i know exactly how you feel. i have had the same problem. my whole life, i have been told, that i am not good enough. nothing i did was ever good enough for my father. and it really got me down at one point of my life, but you know what helped in those times and still does? well, i thought about what kind of person i was because of it all. and how much i had accomplished. and what i could STILL accomplish. and the anger towards him drove me to succeed more. the person i am now, well hes taught me a lot. what kinda person NOT to be and also how much stronger i am. which i am sure you are too. there will come a time when you will get this anger out and direct it at him. it will be the right time but until then, keep going with your life. dont let what hes done to you affect your life. people dont realise that their actions cause so much harm on others. but he has. dont let him win. you are strong.

post natel depression

2 Replies Last post by ErinRuby 1 year ago

EmJay >> 17/09/2011 9:58pm

does anyone else have post natel depression my parents dont understand

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ErinRuby >> 18/01/2012 1:02pm

A few weeks ago i was in a very toxic relationship and i became pregnant, in doing so the choice was really hard, in the end with all the violence i had an abortion and ive felt sick ever since. i always think about what it would have been like if i kept it, or if the circumstances had been different.

Becca_jay >> 20/09/2011 1:48pm

i dont know if it counts as post natal depression, because my baby died before she was born. but everyday it gets harder and harder to drag myself outta bed in the morning. my neighbors just had a baby and (i live in an apartment with paper thin walls) every time i hear it crying i feel like crawling into a hole and staying there

need to talk

7 Replies Last post by monkeymum 1 year ago

monkeymum >> 26/12/2011 5:15pm

hi there, im a mum of 3 just had my youngest last wednesday the birth went well but at 21 hours old my little girl turned for the worst and started going blue, she did this numerous time, after the 4th time i walked away from it. how does one mum get over something like this, it still clear to my mind what happend, even 5 days later. please help i dont want to go into postnatal depression.

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monkeymum >> 15/01/2012 8:48am

yes i know to ring for help :) but the thing is how do you get over something like that. what doesnt help is when you clothes given to you as present and you sit there looking at them thinking what happened if she didnt make it, the emotions going thru the head its crazy. but almost 1 month on and she is still here so i gotta count my blessing :) someones watching over me

saddle >> 06/01/2012 10:11pm

Hi,im a mother of 6 kids.Its natural to feel like that and you have mother instincts.With all my kids i was very watchful when they were babies,i would always check they were breathing,I worried of cotdeath.We have a powerful love for our babies.I understand how worried you were when baby was blue.take deep breaths,dont leave baby's if they ant well,only if they cry to long and still dont leave them to long.if you worry you ring ambulance.or ring health line.

monkeymum >> 06/01/2012 4:19am

as you say Riki you have to take a deep breath, it been 2 weeks now and i still remember it like the back of my hand the doc the midwives the tubes she had on her and everything. trust me it has put my radar on to watch her 24/7. But you do get strong and it hard seeing baby like that.

Hoogie >> 27/12/2011 11:09pm

How do you mean you walked away? You will always get through what life throws at you. I can only imagine your pain, explain so I can understand better

toadstool >> 30/12/2011 11:08pm

had a few rough months with a lot more to come. i need to work to pay my mortgage, but struggle to keep my family going emotionally as well. i do struggle to stay motivated and have sought some advice. they recommended i look at this site although this is not the only avenue i am using to overcome the issues. i do have trouble sleeping and no longer feel that the bond of the family is enough to deal with them. i am qualified in the helping profession which does complicate things more as there is an obvious conflict of interest. My father is not well and with my mum on her own with him and struggling with his moods i find it incredibly hard to walk away. i do feel guilty, but also hope that the anger i feel about betrayal can settle. i am stressed by the situation, but need to find the motivation to continue in the routine i have. with your support and the help of others i have been in contact with i know it will be better, but what do i do right now

rliki >> 30/12/2011 11:05pm

hey there,
look u just have to remember that you just gave birth to your baby,i was the same too and I managed to walk away take a deep breath then come back when you calm..here to help and support u thru...

kimmy99 >> 31/12/2011 1:43pm

hi im feeling down today. i dont want new years day to come tomorro i just dont like with what i go throu with verbal abuse from my dad every year.

Feeling alone because your getting blamed for evreything!

1 Reply Last post by Thea 1 year ago

anonymous >> 11/01/2012 11:25pm

Someone narking on you and blaming you for everything that has happend, and also a guy who has a girlfriend kissing you and than fully acts like nothing happened the next day ? :( , im feeling soo low atm

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Thea >> 14/01/2012 7:56pm

Maybe "blaming" is just an emotional release of that person. I am not sure but I am suggesting that COULD be the case. Yes, it sounds unfair to "blame" you for everything. After all, we are social animals. We need support from each other. Forgive him/her for "blaming". If you know you are not to blame, then who cares? If you made a mistake and got blamed, then try to correct it. No big deal.
For that guy, I don't know how to respond to that. I kissed a girl before and the next day she pretended nothing had happened, so we remained as friends. haha~

Ready to leave.

1 Reply Last post by Thea 1 year ago

3madi >> 12/01/2012 1:31pm

I've been suffereing from 'depression' for about two years now. On and off. It seems to hit me badly after a break-up or after family issues have taken place. I dont know exactly if its depression or not because i dont like to talk about it much. I'll only talk to my bestfriend, who is by the way nowhere near experienced with anything ive been through. Which is hard because i trust her ears but shes not the advice giving type. Ive been searching the internet for information on bypolar. My situations either push me up high or take me down low, but eitherway i end-up falling. I've been in love twice i believe, the first time i fell inlove it ended badly as myself and another girl were being played off against one another. So the guy could 'choose'. Im very insecure, i sell myself short & i think im never good enough for anyone. My nana passed away when i was 9 years old, i believe eversince then. Ive become the lowlife that i am today. It hurts. It really realy hurts. Im afraid to seek proffesional guidance. Ive tried it before but i just cant seem to get out ALL of the details. I only tell the guidance counsellors at school, the partial details. As i dont want to be refferred on to anything serious. I miss who i used to be. I miss smiling at everything with meaning. I miss being ME. I tend to pretend im amazing now, i tend to pretend im doing fine. But, deep down. I'm lonely. I lay in bed most days and pretend im just tired. But to be honest. I'm just afraid of the world in front of me. I feel like im locked in my own mind. I feel like im all alone. My bestfriend will visit or ill rarely go out with HER only. But when we're not together, i feel like a failure. As a daughter, as a girlfriend, as a cousin, as a sister and as a friend. I have so much advice to give out to my fellow friends but when it comes to myself? Nothing. Nothing atall. I dont want people to see me for the weak person that i am. I dont want to be known as the girl who cries at maybe the littlest things out, such as words from someone i feel intimate for. I put these feelings down to myself. Yes, some people trigger it. But i let them get the better of me. Therefore, i am nothing. No guys wants me, my mum is constantly yelling at me, she even kicked me out a few weeks back. Told me i screwed her life up being here. All i have is myself. I dont expect answers, i dont expect help. I just wanted to be heard. Useless & disaapointing.

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Thea >> 14/01/2012 7:51pm

I heard (read) what you said. You are brave to express yourself here. It seems like things are pretty stressful for you. You may find yourself as a failure but I find you as a hero! because you are still living, still breathing. Facing all these stress, yet you are still trying to survive them all. So, GOOD ON YA! ;) *pat*
One thing you are so right about yourself is that, maybe what you need is not what so-called professional help, but a pair of listening ears which do not judge. You don't have to miss the old times because you can make it alive again if you walk out of this low pit. It may be hard right now but hey, you will one day! Emotions are valid. Let yourself what you feel and don't blame yourself for feeling low. Come on! These are all sad stuff you are experiencing. When you allow yourself to be unhappy, you will free yourself from the burden because you have appreciated it. You will have the strength to move on. There are people who are interested in your life, your existence. Hang on there! We are all in this together with you if you believe in "us". You are doing well, 3madi.

what do you do ?

2 Replies Last post by Thea 1 year ago

aayla >> 06/01/2012 12:39pm

What do you do when you constantly feel down. when nothing and no one can make you feel better ? any ideas i just feel down all the time.

Replies:

Thea >> 14/01/2012 7:41pm

*hug* keep walking. keep talking. keep breathing. :)

3madi >> 12/01/2012 2:08pm

Truth is Aayla. All you can do is be strong and believe you can get through it. I've been in this exact position, in fact im IN it. But, sometimes..your worst enemy is yourself. The only one that can help you is yourself. You have to keep your chin up, posture straight and remember you are NEVER alone. Nomatter what it is hurting you. You are never going to walk a dark hall alone. There are always people who love you & they may not be able to help you out at the end of the day but atleast they can be a pair of ears that are willing to listen. Dont hold back. Dont be afraid of what people will think. Tell someone you trust your exact emotions and just be you. You can do it. Anyone can do it. Nothing is impossible. I assure you. Goodluck.

Hit rock bottom

2 Replies Last post by Herodotus 1 year ago

ultrapulse >> 05/01/2012 11:17am

Hi everyone, my name is keil and I am 21 years old. I just feel like crap. I have forgotten what its like to be happy now, my girlfriend left me and we have a 3 year old baby together and i cannot stand the thought of her being with another guy, I have depression and have had for about 5 years now, i have been an inpaitent at Ward 27 in Wellington Hospital for my mental illness. I just want these feeling of self worthlessness to go away because i just want to be happy, happy is what i long for but its so hard for me to grab ahold of. someone please talk to me :(

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Herodotus >> 13/01/2012 6:00pm

Hello, I just want to say I completely understand how it feels to have forgotten happiness as I also haven't a clue what this mysterious and elusive thing is like. I'm pretty much beyond miserable and most of the time it feels like I'm also beyond hope and help so I'm not going to be so very condescending as to tell you to 'look for the happiness all around us' or talk about getting 'through' depression as if it's an inevitability and one day you'll wake up all cheerful and your life will magically be repaired. I will, however, say that sometimes it's refreshing to think about things and try to make sense of them and a way I like to do this (and would recommend) is going to synagogue. Obviously if you're not Jewish then you would go to an alternative of sorts and even if you're not religious it's still nice to have somewhere quiet and conducive to some contemplation. I'm not trying to convert you or anything, nor am I suggesting that 'finding God' is the solution, merely that when I'm really going out of my head I sometimes like to go to temple to think things over or even sometimes to have a go at God for making me so damn unhappy - which can also be quite theraputic. Also, have you tried a psychotherapist? I know it sounds like a load of incessant psycho-babble and maybe it is but talking to your family and friends you still have to watch what you say as they could take offence - with a psychologist you could be a racist moron and still they wouldn't judge you. Bear in mind that it can take ages to find the right psychologist for you - it took me about a year of nonstop searching to find someone suitable and there were some really unbearable times during that year, incl. a hospital stay and a period where I was nearly catatonic and wet my self and couldn't eat and things like that. I'm just saying this to let you know that the feeling when you bond with the right psychologist is almost like a 'light at the end of the tunnel' moment and while you still feel like you're wasting away, that hour a week makes it almost bearable.

qwerty101 >> 09/01/2012 5:49pm

I really hope you get through what you're going through. I'm no expert on depression, but from what I do know, there is always hope and you are not alone. Try and find happiness in the little things like when it's a sunny day, or when you walk down the street and someone smiles at you. I know it might sound cheesy =) but happiness is all around us. And i'm sure that when you get through your depression, your family and your baby will all be very proud of you. :)

Alone because my Family dont like my Boyfriend.

Last post by edz 1 year ago

edz >> 10/01/2012 3:09pm

So I started going out with my boyfriend at the end of November, and since then life has been hell. Not because of my boyfriend but beacuse of my family. My sister hates my boyfriend and recons i dont make time for her when im with him. My mum cant stand him and says I should move to Australia for a fresh start and the rest of my family have pretty much stopped talking to me other then a couple of my cousins. This is all beacause the guy im with now was friends with my ex a few years ago and my mum cant get past that.
I dont know what to do anymore.......
The stupid thing is they all use to tell me if you're happy then we are happy and thats all that matters!
I feel like this grudge against my boyfriend is going to last a life time.

Always sad.

1 Reply Last post by qwerty101 1 year ago

Emzie295 >> 06/01/2012 7:53pm

Me and my boyfriend broke up about 8 months ago, at first all i could do was cry, i didn't eat anything for weeks and i was just constantly sad, i know these feelings should have gone away because it's been a long time and i should be over it but i still feel sad all the time, its not the kind of sadness which makes me cry its more the kind which just overwhelms your life, i don't ever feel like crying and i always just feel like my life is just not good enough =( i was so happy before me and my boyfriend got together and whilst we were still together but now i just feel empty. I don't know what to do.

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qwerty101 >> 09/01/2012 5:29pm

The same thing happened to me a while ago. I was with someone who I really cared about and after we broke up it was like a piece of me was misssing. I cried whenever I thought about him and for the first few weeks I didn't eat either. But then I realised if the relationship was supposed to work out it would've, but it didn't. You seem like you really really cared about this guy. I know it probs feels like ur never going to get over him but eventually you will. There was obviously a reason you broke up, and if you were happy before you went out with him, you can definitely be happy again. And btw, every one takes a different amount of time to get over relationships that didn't work out. And your life is good as good as you want it to be. I hope you feel better soon =)

Am I over Reacting??

Last post by qwerty101 1 year ago

qwerty101 >> 09/01/2012 5:14pm

Ive been dealing with the loss of a distant relative. We were really close when I was younger and Ive been a bit depressed lately. Since Ive been sad, my boyfriend seemed to be avoiding me and It started to feel like he only cared about my fun side, not when things got serious. The other day one of his mates (who i'm good friends with) and i were talking and he told me that my boyfriend had told him that if he wasn't going out with me he would want to date my best friend. This really upset me. Do guys usually talk about stuff like that with their friends? Do guys usually avoid serious topics? Well i broke up with my boyfriend but was I over reacting? I just thought he would care if I would loose someone in my family.

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