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I feel so defeated, I just wanted to cry all the time.

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

hoodz79 >> 25/05/2012 6:55pm

i've havent been in a funk like this for this long in a very long time.

Replies:

Grateful :) >> 28/05/2012 11:14pm

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear you're in a low. Have you talked to a doctor or counselor? For me, getting professional assistance has been a really important step in reducing the frequency, severity, and length of my lows.

In pursuit of enjoyment

Last post by gallifrey337 1 year ago

gallifrey337 >> 27/05/2012 5:22pm

I'm not depressed. I get in places that are bad, but I'm in the right frame of mind to tell myself to just get over it. But it's not really working. I like with my mother and brother who are both complete optimists and just see depression as attention seeking and unneccesary. They are completely right, but I have a different problem.

I'm not happy. My mother noticed this and asked me to write a list of all the things that make me happy. I could not think of one. Not one thing makes me happy anymore. There are things that will please me for a while but will just get me down over time, normally to do with buying stuff and later realising that money could have bought something more worthwhile.

I often take long walks talking to myself to clear my head, and I've decided that the one thing that would make me happy is the one think that's out of my reach, which is being in a relationship.

I have no idea how to do it. I haven't talked to a girl once in the past year. It's not that I'm ugly or that I have social awkwardness issues, I just can't do it.

I don't want to sound like a crybaby screaming for attention, it's just that that will fix most of my problems.

I don't even really want a reply or help, I just like being able to write stuff out with the vague hope that someone will read it and pretend to care. Tomorrow I'll look back and see how pathetic I'm being, but for now this is how I feel.

Getting Anti-Depressants

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

bluexrose >> 24/05/2012 8:08am

Tomorrow I'll be going into my fourth counselling session
Sometimes I think they work, others I'll leave thinking 'what
Did I just do?'.

But just out if curiosity, can my counsellor refer me
To get anti-depressants? I don't think my counsellor
Sees the need for me to get them however.
But sometimes, I think I do.

Maybe I'm just rambling now, sorry.

Replies:

Grateful :) >> 27/05/2012 3:53pm

Hi :)

Unless your counselor is a psychiatrist, they will not be able to prescribe medications. Only psychiatrists and doctors can give you antidepressants.

If you think antidepressants will be useful to you, it would probably be a good idea to ask your GP. For some people (and at least for me), it can be really difficult to make progress without being on the right medication.

im failing uni

4 Replies Last post by behemdoubleu 1 year ago

idunno >> 10/05/2012 4:41pm

im in my second year of uni now. and honestly i love it, what im learning. But its like ... i have no motivation to get out of bed, then go to class. I had no motivation to do my essay, and then when i finally forced myself down to do it, i had a break after a full 24 hours on the computer and its taking me hours just to get back that motivation to start again.

I just dont know what to do. I failed uni last year because i was too depressed. It was like it was hard to get up in the morning but then it was even harder to stay up during the day and not go back to bed. Most of my last year i spent just wandering around the streets, didnt matter where i was.

I've been thinking maybe i should just drop out. I know i should see the counsellor but .. to be honest i dont want people to know. I feel so weak like i have no self control and i keep thinking that im pathetic and that im just lazy and that its not depression at all, but then if i was just lazy then how come i dont even like seeing my friends, the people who make me laugh and smile just from the thought of them? I've been avoiding them for like two years now .. i just see them occasionally. They dont know, and i bet they think that im just a snob. But they mean so much to me!

Should i drop out? I mean im wasting money. Borrowed money. Im so poor i cant even afford bus money to get into uni most days. It was alright last year when i had student allowance, but because of my performance last year i was not qualified to receive it this year, nor could i get a student costs loan. My mum never agreed to me going to uni anyway. She thought i was just trying to be like my sister who is a doctor of astrophysics. She told me i should just get married young and have kids ... but im only 20 and i dont want to even be with anybody, im too messed up.

But if i do .. there will be no guarantee that they will accept me again. And i dont even know if ill have the motivation to go back.

I just dont want to end up like the rest of the people in my family, poor and always drinking and smoking all the time. Im really scared that this is all there is ever going to be in my life.

Replies:

behemdoubleu >> 26/05/2012 5:43pm

I am feeling that same way at the moment. I failed four years of school and now im in my first year of teriaty education and i already want to drop out. I self doubt myself when i dont complete something and beat myself up for it, so much until i finally broke down in class. It was horrible, i spent days at home with no motivation and i still feel like that now. Im crying for no reason and flying off the handle really easily. I am lost and don't know what to do now :(

bluexrose >> 15/05/2012 11:12pm

Im in the same boat as you, I understand where you're coming from
I'm in my last year of study, I love it, but the pressure is too much
I have considered dropping out too,

I have lost motivation to keep going because of my depression also
I know the feeling of just wandering, walking around the streets
Because its the only nice feeling you can get as an escape.
Somedays, I feel like I'm just faking a happy mood for most of the day when
I'm at Uni.

Keep going with it, you can do it!
I'm at Otago Uni, I don't know where you are but the student health services are
Really good. It's cheap for an appt as well. and they help.
Keep us updated. :)

Grateful :) >> 15/05/2012 11:26pm

First off, I think it was really good of you to post and ask for help :)

I would discourage you from dropping out of uni. Instead, try to get your depression treated. This will be the most direct way to improve your life, and as a side effect, will help you to improve your studies. Before I began working on recovery, I suffered from huge losses of motivation too, so I know how hard it can be when you're in a low to get the motivation to do your work. But the answer isn't dropping out, it's focusing your efforts on recovering.

I know how worrying it can be - that people will find out and you will suffer stigmatisation. But it is ESPECIALLY important to reach out to others. Isolation is incredibly dangerous if you suffer from depression. Choose people you think will understand, but recognise that if they don't get it, that's more about their capacity to be understanding than it is about whether or not you are a strong person.

Also keep in mind that depression is a medical illness. It results from a chemical imbalance in the brain. It's about as much a sign of weakness as a broken leg is. Both are physical problems, but because one is in the brain, it gets approached differently by the general public. Don't get pulled in by their misunderstanding. Having depression doesn't mean you are weak. Taking smart actions to battle your depression can show just how strong you actually are. It's a hard fight, but it's worth it in the end.

Counseling services are always completely confidential I don't know if you're at the University of Auckland, but if you are, the counseling staff there is wonderful. Even if you're at a different university, they probably offer pretty good, either subsidised or free counseling services. Even if it costs a few dollars, it's well worth it for the positive impact it will have on your life and your motivation. I'm in counseling and it definitely has helped me to gain tools to better manage my depression. They also referred me to a uni doctor who is good at antidepressant prescription, and I really notice the difference when I'm on medication. Be aware that it can take a couple of tries to get a counselor that is a good fit for you, and be patient if the first one you get doesn't work out or doesn't seem to get you. It doesn't mean counseling isn't for you, it just means you need a different counselor.

Best of luck, and don't give up!

TBW >> 16/05/2012 2:58pm

hey i'm in the exact same situation as you, i'm a first year student
i'm failing also, it's hard to talk about it. My friends in class are all getting b's and a's and i had to explain to them that im not handing in work.
I think the main thing for you to do is to speak with the uni counsellor and see your lecturers.. i just started talking about it and it feels alot better
chin up mate you're not alone

Please help, this is the last straw.

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

cda >> 22/05/2012 12:36pm

Hey everyone. Just found this site as I saw the ads for it on TV. Finally plucked up the courage to go on it. I have never in my life, felt this way, or experienced stress like this. Im 19 years old and I started polytech just a couple of months ago. I thought I was doing the right thing, but really it was just an excuse to move out of home and get out of town. I'm now living in Wellington, and I enjoy it, but I don't enjoy my school. I am totally studying the wrong thing, and I've made a fool of myself. I had big dreams, and I still do, of becoming an Early Childhood teacher, because it's my passion and I've had work experience in it for two years. This, is what I was meant to study last year, but sadly my father passed away just as I was about to go and start living life on my own. I couldn't bear the thought of my mother living on her own right after my dad's passing, so I made a decision to stay back with her for a year, and just work and save money. I stayed with her (2011) up until January (2012) of this year then I moved here to the capital. I have been miserable for a couple of weeks now, and I really don't know what has triggered it. Can anyone help me out? I always miss my dad, and that's completely normal. I grieved a lot last year, but being with my best friends and mum helped me get through it. As soon as I moved here though, I've been feeling alone and quite empty. I've made friends here, but it just doesn't feel like home. Lately, I have been avoiding school, it's been so hard to get up in the mornings and out of bed. Im struggling financially as well, I've been looking for jobs, but no luck. I really just want to quit polytech at this moment, work somewhere and save $$$ for university next year (2013). All these thoughts that have surfaced my emotions have really done my head in. I think the stress of grieving,school and regretting my course option, not to mention not even having a job in this city, has really gotten to me. I don't enjoy things I used to as much, this has been happening for a couple of weeks now. I don't want these feelings to continue. Please help me.. Anyone? I need some answers. Thank you

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Grateful :) >> 25/05/2012 9:52am

Hi Christina,

Thanks for your courage! You have an interesting story to tell and I hope I can be of help somehow.

Condolences for your father. I think it was a very strong and loving decision on your part to make sure your mother was ok, so kudos for that. I can't imagine how hard it would be to have a parent pass, particularly if you were close.

I don't know if this is the same for you, but I find there's a great difference between having friends and having friends you feel like you can actually confide in. When I moved to Auckland, I left all my friends I could confide in back home. I made a lot of new friends relatively quickly, but it took a long time for me to get to a place where I was willing to take the leap and tell them things they might feel uncomfortable with or judge me for. I might be reading it wrong, but it sounds like your support network is not as strong in Wellington as it is back home. I would recommend reaching out. Find people you think might understand, and tell them how you're feeling. Some won't understand of course, but that's more about them than about you. But others will, and that's something to be grateful for. For me, having a strong support network is paramount to my success.

It'll be completely up to you, but make the choice that is best for your health. I find that if you don't have your mental health, everything else starts to fall apart. If you can, it would be good to finish out the semester. But perhaps what you're doing currently isn't in line with what is good for your health. Quitting isn't a sign of failure if you're doing it because you're looking out for your overall well-being, and because you recognise what's best for you.

Best of luck, and don't give up on yourself. You sound like a really intelligent young woman with a lot of prospects, and a lot of resilience :)

he wont listen to me

3 Replies Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

sammydooo >> 14/05/2012 9:58am

i had a really really bad day yesterday i was good until the end of he day when we went out for pizza and i had to stay in the car while my dad and his girlfriend went to get the pizza and started holding hands i saw and felt so angry but so sad at the same time because i feel so bad for my mum because dad left her last year for this woman and i have seen how much she is hurting and its hurting me and then i just spiralled down and got sad and didnt want to talk to anyone and then she blew up at me and started saying that nothing i do is going to change anything and then my dad tryed to get me to tell him what was wrong bt i didnt wnt to tell him so i tried but he just got angry and said that i shouldnt be feeling this now im at school and its hard to stop crying but i dont want people to think im crazy im so stuck and i just want him to help me

Replies:

Grateful :) >> 25/05/2012 9:39am

Hey Sammy,

Sometimes it takes a little while for counseling to start making your life better, but I would advise you to stick with it.

I can't say I know what the best choice is for you right now, but I would be inclined to say that you should focus on yourself at this juncture. I wouldn't worry so much about what your dad thinks. He's an adult and should be able to take care of himself; also, it's up to him whether he gets upset or is understanding of your decisions - it's not your job to try to control how he feels. You're young, and need to make the best choice for you. If that means living with your mum, then that's what that means.

I've heard it said that the fastest route to insanity is trying to please everyone. It may feel like you're being selfish, but sometimes it's necessary to look out for yourself. Take care of yourself and make the best decision for you, not for your parents.

Best of luck, and don't give up :) Things will get better one day.

sammydooo >> 22/05/2012 1:10pm

im 13 i do feel like this quite often and yea i have just started going to a counseller but its not helping im finding it so hard to live with my dad and his girlfriend i really want to move back with my mum who lives in wellington but that would mean moving schools aging which dad would not be happy with and i also dont want to hurt his feelings im afraid of what he'l think if i say i want to go back to mum. the thing is that i didnt get a choice where i went he just took me with him and made me move away from all my friends and in with his girlfriend who doesnt like me less than 3 months after mum and him split and he thinks im going to want to see him all happy with him while i know how upset my mum is i think he took me because hes worrried that my mums bipolar might be an issue. but i cant live the way i am now.

Grateful :) >> 15/05/2012 8:58pm

Man, that's rough. But I think what you're feeling is completely understandable and would be normal given the circumstances. Can I ask how old you are?

It sounds like your parents have a lot of their own stuff to sort out. It's not your responsibility to make your mum happy, no matter how much you may want to. Nor is it fair of your dad to expect you to accept his decisions. You're going to feel what you're going to feel. Try your best to let your parents take care of their issues, and focus instead on taking care of yourself.

Do you feel low quite frequently? Have you ever talked to a doctor about depression?

i dont know what to do D:

2 Replies Last post by simplyfloataway 1 year ago

sammydooo >> 22/05/2012 2:51pm

everything has turned upside down and theres nothing i can do its not fair i just want things to be how they were last year i dont know if i can take this much longer :'( D:

Replies:

simplyfloataway >> 23/05/2012 8:44pm

I know how you feel. It can be tough when things change and it can seem really unfair . It can take a lot of getting used to. When things are turned upside down like you said it can be really stressful on yourself. Feeling like you just want to give up is a tempting offer. But you gotta pick yourself up again stand up and make the most of what you have got. I feel the same way too, you are not alone on this one :/

Here2Help >> 23/05/2012 12:05pm

Hey, I used to feel the same way a few years back. I have had Family Abuse and still do. I was very low a few weeks ago but i tryed not to think about it and instead started talking to friends on Skype and playing games. I am not saying that you have to but this is a message to everyone: I dont know everything about what your going through but i know alot about what its like.
Just remember there are always people out there willing to listen and help, and sometimes you find them where you least expect.

Tired of everything

1 Reply Last post by Soph.G 1 year ago

redroxjemstone >> 19/05/2012 5:37pm

Hi
i got to a point where i was angry with my mum, i get angry with her a lot now but the more i get angry with her or anyone else the worse i end up feeling in the end. its like i point the finger but there is always three pointing back, i feel like the worst person on earth, sometimes at night i lie there praying that God will just let me peacefully fade away in my sleep, i get barely any sleep andi dont eat when i dont have to. and i cry every now and then when im alone. Im just tired of everything and i want to just go to sleep and not wake up
but i love my family so much and would never do anything to hurt them, its like being stuck in a nightmare with no escape, I feel so selfish and horrible, i dont know what to do anymore. what should i do??? will i ever be happy again??? will i ever not dislike myself???

Replies:

Soph.G >> 23/05/2012 1:03pm

You hit the nail on the head, thanks for posting this. I know exactly how you feel and im sure a lot of other people can understand where you are coming from as well. Have you tried talking to your mum about how you are feeling?

Daydreaming

2 Replies Last post by cda 1 year ago

Frederick >> 19/05/2012 7:40am

I have always been a daydreamer. And lately, I've been trying to ease myself out of it. I started teaching myself Calculus and Linear Algebra as a first step in becoming a software engineer. You won't believe how much effort it takes to change a life long habit, its a constant struggle. But it did make me feel good, and all this has been successful up until now. I have recently adjusted my life goals a little, and have been told I can't achieve what I wanted to because of a medical condition. Now i'm so unhappy I don't know what to do? What's the point of all this effort? What's the point of living at all? I don't even know what I want any more.

So my question is, how do I give my life meaning? I'm not much of a family person, and don't have any friends. I realize that my asking for help is a shallow contradiction, but I would appreciate some insight. Cheers, Frederick.

Replies:

cda >> 22/05/2012 12:43pm

Frederick, I understand exactly where you're coming from. Things like this take time and patience, and that's very hard when you're feeling low.

You ask, how you can give your life meaning? Simple. Think of the things you enjoy the most, your hobbies, interests, etc. You say you're not much of a social person.. well try and spend time with family, make friends at school/work. If things still persist with problems, I'd advice to see a counselor. They're amazing people. I'm going to see one for the second time, in an hour. Just take the first leap :) life is full of amazing opportunities and choices. You just have to out there and grab it!

Christina

Grateful :) >> 21/05/2012 10:50pm

Hi Frederick,

I've grappled with that question a lot myself. In the last month I've had to change my plans about what I'd be doing over the next two years three times. I know how exhausting it can be, investing emotionally, as well as investing time in plans only to see them fall apart.

What I've found is that the most useful way of recovering from this kind of circumstantial depression is to try to conceive of your life as going in a different direction. Perhaps you are not meant to be a software engineer, but there are so many other possibilities out there. Explore around and try to think of other things you've thought were interesting in the past. These don't have to be school subjects or careers - they can be locations, people, or even something you read in a newspaper article ages ago. You may surprise yourself. Two months ago, I never thought I'd be working toward what I am now. But I'm coming to enjoy the process :)

I finished a philosophy minor last year and I've come to believe that meaning in life is created through one's contact with others, whether that be other people, nature, or ideas. I personally find a lot of meaning in trying to be of service to my friends and family, but where people find meaning varies on an individual basis.

In the end, the point of putting in effort is not to reach a certain goal. The point has to be about the kind of person you want to be - someone who is passionate enough to pursue a goal and pursue it hard. Your goals are going to change a lot throughout life, so start getting used to it. Being someone who is hardworking and passionate is a much harder thing to attain.

Final question: What's wrong with daydreaming?

Best of luck, and don't give up :)

I don't belong

3 Replies Last post by sammydooo 1 year ago

A Friend >> 17/05/2012 12:32pm

Hi, I feel like I don't fit in at school. I have no propper friends that I feel like I fit in with. As a result of this I am feeling depressed and dreading school. I am using every excuse I can to get a day of e.g. my tonsils are sore I have a headache etc. I feel out of place at lunch times and intervals. I hang out in a group but I dont belong with them. I use games and music to distract myself in any spare time not takin up from homework. Games and music take me away from the real world were I can be myself and if im frustraited I can just leave. My mum says that this is unhealthy. I am in year 12 and I am 110% I want to leave school next year either to get a job or see if I can get into nursing. however I just see myself heading down hill. I experienced what I am now at inter, My parents and sister are worried about me. I have a girlfriend but she has her own trouble at school and at home. I always support her but I struggle to support myself. I believe that I am generaly angry at the world I have little hope. Im not sure were to go from here. What can I do with my sence of belonging. I struggle to make friends because I am shy but im not easily lead, I dont take drugs I dont drink which makes me even more weird to people at my school. The only technique I have is by making jokes about stuff to make myself feel better.
Thank You,
A Friend

Replies:

sammydooo >> 22/05/2012 10:11am

oh my gosh i feel the exact same way and i did the same thing i fakes and ear ake to not go to school because i dont want people to see me cry

imfucked >> 19/05/2012 3:05pm

OMG I FEEL THE EXACT SAME!! I'm year 12 too. New Zealand is so antisocial, everyone calls me the "awkward girl". I wish i could hang out with people but no one wants to / can be bothered hanging out with me. I'm so bored, all i have is homework but i cbf. Glad to know im not the only one struggling :/ x

Grateful :) >> 19/05/2012 4:11pm

Hi,

Thanks for sharing here :)

It's really good that you don't drink alcohol or take drugs. I don't either because they would interact with my medication poorly. Don't let people make you feel weird about it; it's a good thing.

While it is quite common to experience social exclusion in high school, it can have negative long term effects. Don't self-isolate. It is important to have people in your life that you can talk to and connect with. I think it's commendable that you are there for your girlfriend, but make sure you are also taking care of yourself.

At this point, probably the best thing you could do would be to go see a counselor. Their services are completely confidential and they can be really useful in helping people to find ways to better address life's frustrations. Keep in mind that it may take a couple tries to find a counselor that understands you and seems like a good fit, so don't give up on counseling altogether if the first one isn't good. It took me about three tries to get a counselor I felt good about, but she's really helping me now. I was in a really awful place earlier this year and talking through it with her has definitely improved my ability to get out of it.

It's not too late for you, so don't give up :)

Im really Destressed and hopeless :'(

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

Ngahere1 >> 19/05/2012 10:11pm

Hi i am really depresed because i have lies coming to me and i get yelled at its really embarrsing and when im alone i always cry it hurts i lock myself in my own room away from people i feel hopeless and i feel that im letting my family down Help please

Replies:

Grateful :) >> 21/05/2012 10:35pm

Hi,

Why do you feel like you are letting your family down? Are they the ones yelling at you? If so, it would be a good idea to speak to other people who are likely to be more understanding. Have you considered counseling? I find it is has been very helpful in helping me to better manage depression and re-establish hope.

Don't give up, and please try to be gentle to yourself.

I dont know what to do,

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

emma stone >> 17/05/2012 11:49am

I have gone to see my doctor today and she told me i have mild to servere depression . i have serious trust issues and thats because of what i have been through in my life . iv lost things that some people could not even imagine. i put all my trust in one boy he was my first real relationship he cheated on me several times and did drugs all the time which made him really angry and he would take all his emotions out on me . and i mean all of them i lost a baby because of him . i find myself crying all the time and for no reason at all . i now have a new boyfriend and have been with him for quite some time and i feel bad about my trust issues so now i am trying to get help so i can make our relationship work

Replies:

Grateful :) >> 19/05/2012 4:36pm

Hi Emma,

Well it sounds like you're working to move things in the right direction :) If your doctor has prescribed any antidepressants, I would definitely recommend taking them. These will hopefully help reduce the frequency and severity of your lows. I used to also cry all the time for no reason, but since I got on the right medication, it doesn't happen much any more. Keep in mind that it can take a few tries to get the medication and dosage right, so don't give up trying if the first medication they try doesn't work.

Counseling is probably the best way to work through your trust issues. It's also important to have someone to talk to who will understand how depression can impact behaviour, and counselors tend to be good at that. I've personally found counseling very helpful. It provides you with tools to better manage your lows when they do occur.

My father once said to me after I had a really rough break up to never stop working on individual growth. The best way to make your relationship work is to work on yourself, making sure that you don't take out your trust issues on your new boyfriend and are working as well as you can to learn to manage your depression. In the end, whether he is supportive will depend on his own choices and where he is in life. It is better to focus on your side of the street - on trying to be the best person you can be given the circumstances.

While working on individual development though, keep in mind that it is important to be self-forgiving in the process. You won't always succeed, so it's important to not be too harsh on yourself when you make mistakes.

Best of luck! You seem like you've got a good head on your shoulders, despite having past negative experiences. Don't give up :)

help! :'(

2 Replies Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

floo3456 >> 17/05/2012 12:28pm

i have been really down lately as my cat has gone missing and has been for at least 2 days. I have had no sleep and have been crying non stop im not eating much and i always have a stomach ache. im hoping this will all pass as it is not a nice feeling being sad all the time

Replies:

Frederick >> 19/05/2012 7:28am

Hey, my name is Frederick. Very nice to meet you floo3456. Can you tell me more about why you're feeling like this?

Grateful :) >> 19/05/2012 3:59pm

Hi,

Did you feel down much before your cat went missing? I hope you find him or her very soon, and best of luck!

Eating issues

7 Replies Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

redroxjemstone >> 05/05/2012 12:11pm

Hi my friends are convinced that i have an eating disorder, and yes i dont eat when i dont have to, but to prove them wrong i ate a really fatty breakfast, but they are a 100% convinced that i have an eating disorder, people with eating disorders wouldnt have come within a mile of the breakfast i ate, so how can i prove to them that i dont have an eating disorder? and if i was only eating that just to prove them wrong because i usually miss out on a few meals does that mean i have an eating disorder? i dont think it does but then i wouldnt really know, so confused about it,

Replies:

Grateful :) >> 19/05/2012 3:58pm

Hi,

Thanks for your response :) Sorry it's taken me a while to get back to you!

5kg in 2 weeks is probably too much to lose. If you are hungry but not eating, this suggests that there is more going on than just the loss of appetite that sometimes accompanies depression.

Eating unhealthy foods does not mean that you do not suffer from an eating disorder. Eating disorders are more about control and your views toward food overall, and not necessarily about what you actually eat.

2 meals a day is not enough. Ideally, doctors recommend 3 meals a day and a number of snacks. If you are feeling uncomfortable reading this and considering yourself eating that much, this is probably a sign that your current relationship with food is unhealthy.

While I am not personally qualified to diagnose eating disorders, it does sound like you are experiencing a lot of the associated symptoms. Your friends, while worried about you, are not generally going to be good people to take advice from when it comes to adjusting your eating habits. Tell them the best thing they can do is read up on supporting people with eating disorders.

The best thing you could do for yourself right now is to seek advice from a medical professional and a counselor. Express that you are concerned you might suffer from an eating disorder. They will ask you about your behaviours around food and your thoughts about it. Try to answer as honestly as possible, and hopefully they will be able to help you to develop a healthier relationship with food and a healthier view toward your weight :)

Remember - the longer you leave an eating disorder untreated, the worse it tends to get. It looks like you're headed in the right direction, being courageous enough to ask for help here :) I hope you continue on. Please don't hesitate to post again if you have any other concerns!

Best of luck.

redroxjemstone >> 17/05/2012 8:53am

HI
i am hungary but i just dont want to eat, sense of body image is im not fat but im not thin and could do with losing just alittle bit of weight, relationships with my family are average but then i get on better with some in my family than others. at the moment i eat two meals a day, and sometimes one meal a day, i do eat unhealthy foods every now and then, but i only eat the meals where i am with my family, so they think im fine, my friends are trying to get me to keep a food log, a note book where i record everything i eat, is that a good idea? and if i eat unhealthy foods does that mean i dont have an eating disorder? is losing 5kg in two weeks bad?

Grateful :) >> 15/05/2012 8:53pm

Hi :)

I have many friends and family members suffering from eating disorders, and have done a fair amount of research into them.

It is becoming more common in the literature to see eating disorders as the extreme end of a spectrum, ranging from healthy to unhealthy attitudes/behaviours towards eating. Even if you do not suffer from a full-blown eating disorder, it sounds like your current relationship with food is dangerous and something worth worrying about.

Do you suffer from depression as well? Lows can cause both insomnia and loss of appetite. If you cannot sleep because you are low, it might be good to talk to a doctor. If you have a lack of appetite and think it is because you are in a low, it is a really good idea to eat something. Carbohydrates are necessary for the production of serotonin, a chemical in the brain that causes you to feel happy.

In relation to your eating issue concerns: Is it that you aren't hungry, or that you are but just don't want to eat? As honestly as possible, what is your current sense of your body image, and what are your relationships with your family like?

If you can, it would be best to try to not get angry with your friends. They may be annoying you at the moment, but it is only because they care about you.

Best of luck :) I'll try to be on more frequently than I have been recently, and will check back.

themazdalin >> 09/05/2012 2:14pm

Hun, I think your friends are right. Not eating because you don't have to, or because you're not hungry is bad. My sister was diagnosed with anorexia last year and since then has been working towards eating properly and getting to a sustainable weight that's healthy for her age. I think that eating a fatty breakfast as you put it to prove them that you don't is unhealthy. You need to eat 3 decent sized meals per day at least, not to mention snacks during the day to keep your mind going. Without the necessessary amount of food, you will start to lose your energy to do thinngs and your mind won't function properly. I know this because I watched my sister starve herself and pull herself into a hole when she could barely fucntion normally. Even if you're not hungry, or don't think you should eat because you don't feel like it, do. Because you need to eat!!! :) if you want to talk more about this feel free to get in touch with me Take care of yourself

themazdalin >> 09/05/2012 2:14pm

Hun, I think your friends are right. Not eating because you don't have to, or because you're not hungry is bad. My sister was diagnosed with anorexia last year and since then has been working towards eating properly and getting to a sustainable weight that's healthy for her age. I think that eating a fatty breakfast as you put it to prove them that you don't is unhealthy. You need to eat 3 decent sized meals per day at least, not to mention snacks during the day to keep your mind going. Without the necessessary amount of food, you will start to lose your energy to do thinngs and your mind won't function properly. I know this because I watched my sister starve herself and pull herself into a hole when she could barely fucntion normally. Even if you're not hungry, or don't think you should eat because you don't feel like it, do. Because you need to eat!!! :) if you want to talk more about this feel free to get in touch with me Take care of yourself

redroxjemstone >> 12/05/2012 4:22pm

Does not eating muck up how much sleep you get? cause lets just say i havnt been sleeping well and the less i sleep the less i want to eat. and the less i eat the more tired i get. its like a never ending circle

themazdalin >> 09/05/2012 2:14pm

Hun, I think your friends are right. Not eating because you don't have to, or because you're not hungry is bad. My sister was diagnosed with anorexia last year and since then has been working towards eating properly and getting to a sustainable weight that's healthy for her age. I think that eating a fatty breakfast as you put it to prove them that you don't is unhealthy. You need to eat 3 decent sized meals per day at least, not to mention snacks during the day to keep your mind going. Without the necessessary amount of food, you will start to lose your energy to do thinngs and your mind won't function properly. I know this because I watched my sister starve herself and pull herself into a hole when she could barely fucntion normally. Even if you're not hungry, or don't think you should eat because you don't feel like it, do. Because you need to eat!!! :) if you want to talk more about this feel free to get in touch with me Take care of yourself

what to do

1 Reply Last post by simplyfloataway 1 year ago

hannah clark >> 14/05/2012 8:38pm

i dont know what to do anymore

Replies:

simplyfloataway >> 18/05/2012 7:33am

Why, whats up?

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