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ectopic pregnancy

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

Jessica1989 >> 08/06/2012 2:45pm

Hey im a 22 year old single mum of a 1 year old boy, and recently had an ectopic pregnancy which caused a lot of internal bleeding and i also had to have my left tube removed, im still greiving for my baby i lost and on top of that my partner cheated on me with someone else who is pregnant, I feel sad all the time and feel like nothing will ever get better and il be depressed forever.

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Grateful :) >> 10/06/2012 7:55pm

Hi Jessica,

Wow, that sounds unbelievably harsh. I hope you know that you deserve to be treated better than that. Have you considered seeking counseling? It can be really useful to talk out your grievances with someone who is trained to know how to handle things.

I know it feels like it now, but if you take steps toward helping yourself get better, you won't be depressed forever. Don't give up!

emotionless

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

kaylacollins >> 09/06/2012 7:20pm

Feeling like i've got no emotions or don't know how i'm feeling. Most days feeling depressed, really don't want to loose my bf but he's going distant and doesn't show any interest in me, we have a child together too.

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Grateful :) >> 10/06/2012 7:46pm

Hi Kayla,

Feeling emotionally numb is not uncommon for people who suffer from depression. Have you considered talking to a doctor about your symptoms? I found that things for me didn't get better until I started taking the right meds and got into counseling. If you find you are depressed on a regular basis and it hasn't gone away yet, it's unlikely to go away without professional intervention.

Best of luck and please don't give up on yourself. You can recover from this :)

i dont get it

Last post by bvbarmy 1 year ago

bvbarmy >> 10/06/2012 4:39pm

i font get it i feel sad but i cant cry its like i have no emotion what so ever and ive been feeling like this for about 3 years and its getting worse, whats wron and why am i like this?

lost my mother,grandfather

2 Replies Last post by pinkglitter1997 1 year ago

zahzah >> 05/06/2012 8:22pm

im just soo tired of everything. stressed at school now think i am gay

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pinkglitter1997 >> 10/06/2012 3:55pm

I'm so sorry. My dad will be moving away soon and I know how hard it is. Just Imagine what life will be like in 10 years. You will have your dream job and money to spend! A saying that I always tell myself is ''The only reason why we are in high school is so we can get to uni'' <--- high school is annoying I know but just get through it and once you are through life is AWESOME!! I'm 15 and honestly hate high school. stay strong! <3 xx

Grateful :) >> 07/06/2012 1:24am

Hi there,

I'm sorry for your loss :/ This sounds like a lot of stress and uncertainty to be dealing with alone. Have you considered talking to a counselor? I've found counseling very helpful :) And if you're having sexual identity confusion, they're usually quite non-judgmental.

Need help

4 Replies Last post by pinkglitter1997 1 year ago

Dutch32 >> 06/06/2012 7:40pm

My life has no purpose. I'm lonely, socially awkward and have lost all my friends just by being an unsociable, pessimistic

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pinkglitter1997 >> 10/06/2012 3:53pm

I don't know how old you are but just make your life have a purpose, do some community work and that will really make you feel good, maybe do some painting or sewing and baking then sell them at a market!! that's always really fun :) stay strong and don't give up.

Grateful :) >> 08/06/2012 12:11pm

Hi,

Have you considered talking to a counselor? I find they can be really useful if you find your current approach to life is not working.

Twinkletoess >> 08/06/2012 11:14pm

hi. I had a friend like this and I made sure I chatted and invited him out most weekends, maybe if u have Facebook or some people who u may find interesting u could just say a simple hello to them. U never know it could lead to a person u find interesting and enjoy to hang out with and spend time chatting to. Sorry not much help. But it could be worth a go if ur willing to. Explore outside the box. The world is truely a beautiful place and even if it's hard sometimes ur life is what u make it. Look around for inspiration. Being around someone positive may change ur look on life :) hope I was of any help

SamiJ0e >> 09/06/2012 2:44am

i know how that feels, i lost all my friends when i lost my daughter, i shut everyone out :(

I want it to stop

3 Replies Last post by rotasgurl 1 year ago

RubySM >> 30/05/2012 3:31pm

I've been feeling really down and can't stop crying. University is getting too much, I've left home and am feeling guilty about it as i am the last one to leave and my parents are now by themselves. I've had depression before and got better, but in the last week or so I've gone downhill fast

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rotasgurl >> 06/06/2012 2:11pm

I too have been in this situation struggling with depression. Sometimes you just need to take some time out and reacharge your batteries. Look at the reasions why you are at uni and the positive future you ar working towards. Counselling can definatly help, spending time with supportive friends.Remembering things in life which were funny and happy times focusing on those happy feelings. A good book to read is 'Treasure Yourself" by Miranda Kerr. Fantastic positive uplifting book which can help if you feeling down.

Eat well, exersize, and get plenty of sleep.

sherlock.km >> 31/05/2012 9:34pm

Hi Ruby. good on you for reaching out for help. I battled depression while I was at uni and know how tough it can be. Most universities have counsellors and/or doctors on site - maybe it would be a good idea to go and talk to someone so you can get some extra support - both with studies and your mood. if you'd be open to it maybe talk to your parents as well? they might surprise you!
Arohanui, Kia Kaha

Grateful :) >> 01/06/2012 10:01pm

Hi Ruby,

I've found with my own depression that when I stop monitoring it and forget about it for a while, it tends to rear its ugly head again and come back more severely. It might be necessary to keep a more active eye on how you're doing, to catch yourself early on if your lows start returning. Have you ever sought counseling?

As far as your parents being alone, I wouldn't feel guilty about that. They're going through a transitionary period, as are you, but they're adults and they can learn to figure it out. It's good to be supportive of your family, but do make sure you're taking care of yourself.

How do i help some one with depression

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

hana123 >> 04/06/2012 10:11pm

My friend just admitted that she thinks she has depression but her doctors would not comment on it and
she has asked me for help to get her some counselling.....where would i start
;

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Grateful :) >> 06/06/2012 12:05am

Hi Hana,

Just wondering what you mean when you say her doctors would not comment on it.

Probably the best thing for you to do right now is to learn as much as you can about depression so that you can help support her. If she's only just figured out, she probably doesn't know what's going on either, and will likely be having a lot of new, unstable, and frustrating experiences. Remember that she may get mad, sad, and be unpleasant to be around sometimes. In these cases, try to separate her from the depression. Depression changes one's brain chemistry and strongly impacts one's emotions, which influences one's actions.

How old are you? If you are still in school, maybe ask around to see whether your school has counseling services. Most universities will have free counseling, and I have found that these are very good. Alternatively, try searching your town or city's name online, along with "registered counselors". Please keep in mind that sometimes it can take a few tries to find a counselor that is a good fit. If she finds that she really doesn't like her first counselor, that doesn't mean she should give up on counseling altogether. It just means that that counselor isn't a good match for her, and she should look for someone different.

Good on you for wanting to be supportive :) You sound like a good friend.

Lying Everyday...

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

benny05 >> 04/06/2012 10:41pm

Hi everybody

Like the title suggests, I lie everyday to those who love and care for me. My parents, friends, everybody. They believe that I'm doing great in school (I'm failing), that I'm doing even better in church and that I'm generally happy. The truth is, when I feel deep anxiety, I hurt myself and this relieves me. The truth is, I feel like a burden and a hypocrite for lying,
Some days I KNOW I have what it takes to be successful, but in the end that feeling of hopelessness and not knowing who I am or what I'm meant to do overwhelms me. I have no job, I'm failing school and it frustrates me not being able to talk about it, I know I'm responsible for myself, which makes me hate myself more. I feel like I have no direction and don't know who I am at all. I just don't know anything anymore and so basically I'm just...at the end I guess smh.

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Grateful :) >> 05/06/2012 11:57pm

Hi Benny,

Don't give up! And please don't hurt yourself.

Is there a particular reason why you feel like you can't talk to your parents or friends? Are you worried they will judge you? I find that I personally feel much better when I get my feelings out to someone, as putting them into words helps me understand what I'm going through.

Also, it's better to rely on others than to try to fix everything by yourself. Society tends to project this image of the morally good individual as being completely self-reliant, but I've never found that it's a good idea to try to replicate that in practice. These kinds of social expectations are like romance movies: never realistic, and chasing after them tends to result in frustration.

If you're hurting yourself, what you're experiencing should not be taken lightly. I would recommend talking to a doctor and considering counseling. I've found antidepressants incredibly helpful, and counselors often have good advice about how to deal with challenges in a mentally healthy way :)

Reaching out.

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

ekuL >> 05/06/2012 12:37pm

Howsit going. I just wanted to post up something about what im going through atm.
I am going through some deep depression. It just came out of the blue... I know I have a low self of steam most times. I dont do the things i use too. Like play sport, hit the gym, go out places with friends. All my interests have gone out the window. I have been down this road before and it was much worse...I learnt from that and I had a plan..Now I feel like this isnt going to work and it wont go away.

I know what triggerd it...but are these feelings inside me waiting to be set off by something all the time?

Thank you for letting me share.

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Grateful :) >> 05/06/2012 11:50pm

Hi :)

Thanks for sharing. Have you ever talked to a counselor or asked a doctor about antidepressants? If you've had these feeling before and they keep coming back, that's probably an indication that they're not going to go away without professional assistance.

Best of luck. Don't feel like you have to do this alone.

how to cope as a young couple

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

miss sin >> 13/05/2012 6:20pm

hi i was just wondering.how do i approach services for help if i just end up on thier mailing list even after ive paid 17.50 to see the doctor to be referred and the outreach service only to be have them mailing me 2 ask if i want an appointment.its a year on since and im still going undiagnosed.ifind it hard just to figure what dutys i must achieve for a day..then theres the added stress of having a partner who might i add used to be supportive but my actions have slowly worn him down 2 depression aswell.its like i cant express myself and get it out properly without someone else picking it up and throwing it all back.how do young couples cope if thier not taken seriously by peers around them.

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Grateful :) >> 04/06/2012 10:48pm

Hi,

It sounds like you should probably go in to the doctor, if you haven't already, to ask about antidepressants. The longer depression goes untreated, the worse it tends to get. For me, I find antidepressants can really help. Also, counseling might be very useful to you and your significant other.

Do you have a good friend network? It's best to spread the weight of depression out across multiple people, as two people are usually never enough to support that kind of stress alone. When you approach your friends though, it's best to be appreciative of their efforts to be supportive and understanding if they don't know what they're doing.

I just dont know

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

YogiTheBear >> 14/05/2012 8:04pm

I come from a family that have addiction and Mental Health issues, and experienced an abuse history. Not long ago i met the most amazing person, i had never felt like that bout anyone in my life. Then things at work started getting to me so i did what i do best, but also had problems with addiction. My relationship was turning, and it was too late because of my own DUMB STUFF!! But now im doing my best to clean up so i can take my life back and she just doesnt want to know, and i feel out here on my own and that there is no point, now this hasnt been the 1st time iv lost someone im close to or that i love and its starting to take its toll. Im over being rejected and feeling alone, i find myself in tears everyday and feel like im never going to get my life back. Im finding it hard to deal with anything anymore and just want to be normal... and yea.

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Grateful :) >> 04/06/2012 10:44pm

Hi Yogi,

I know what that feels like. I suffer from depression and anxiety, and my family has a history of addiction as well. I've had some rough breaks the last couple years, and yes, it leaves you feeling hopeless, messed up, and unlovable. But I've put a lot of effort into recovery, and I have love for myself and from my friends and family. And right now, that feels like enough.

I don't think I would have been able to get to this point without being on the right medication and having a wonderful counselor. Have you talked to a doctor lately about your antidepressants (if you're already on them)? It sounds like maybe they're not working, or maybe you need new meds. I've also found counseling extremely helpful, but it can take a while to get a counselor that is a good fit.

My sister is involved in Twelve-Step programmes for her addictions. They don't work for everyone, but she personally finds them really helpful. I think many NZ towns and cities host Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Although my sister is addicted to substances other than alcohol, she finds these meetings still work for her, as her addictions manifest with similar behavioural patterns to alcoholism.

Best of luck and don't give up :) I find it's better to strive to be healthy than to be normal.

Feeling alone

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

sparkle >> 22/05/2012 9:07pm

So this is my first time here... Don't really know what to say or how but anyways. Lately nothings been going right (well some things have). SInce I was with my x beginning 4 years ago, I cut myself off from my friends because he was so controlling and manipulative. These days when I want to talk to someone, ill txt them or chat to them on fb but never really feel like anyone is there for me. I mean no one txts me to ask me how Im doing or if i wanna go hang out with them. Just feel like no one is there for me. The other weekend i got so bad i had my first break down in 18months and my new partner didnt know what to do. I feel so alone and he bears the brunt of all of my anger and frustration.

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Grateful :) >> 04/06/2012 10:35pm

Hi :)

I would recommend talking to a doctor about antidepressants and considering talking to a counselor. Those were the first steps I took, and they really helped me :)

Unfortunately, it's probably not healthy for your partner to be the only one you're confiding in, not for you or for him. It sounds like he's trying to be supportive, and that's great, but the intensity of what you're experiencing is probably going to put strain on your relationship. It can be very uncomfortable to reach out to others you've never confided in before, but it's important to have a number of different people in your support network. It would probably be a good idea to reach out and tell others whom you trust what's going on with you. I get annoyed when my friends don't ask if I want to hang out, but I'd rather hang out with them and be the one doing the inviting than end up not spending time with anyone. A lot of people are more understanding that you'd think, but if they're not, remember that's more about them than it is about you.

Finally, while we don't have as much control over our emotions as we'd like to believe, we do have some control over how we treat people. Please be self-forgiving. It is also good to try to express gratitude for those who are there for you and treat them well, and practice understanding for those who are not. Sometimes people are busy, but that doesn't mean that they don't care about you :)

Best of luck, and I hope this reaches you soon :)

I have a problem

3 Replies Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

Ashyblubear >> 11/05/2012 7:22pm

I am confused as to what to do now!
I get pretty good grades etc but I have always had a problem, I had seperation anxiety and got through that and now with the events of my grand father getting diagnosed with cancer again and only getting who knows how many weeks or months to live, I have felt empty a bit like I have no proper friends anymore like my parents won't understand how I feel so I will think "i want a drink or a smoke" or something. I will try hurt myself so I will feel better! But have never succeeded because im afraid to Hurt myself badly and now I don't know how to approach this?!? I have up and down moments where right now I feel fine but then I may feel like i want the pain to go away. Of course I don't wanna die or anything!!! I love life but I just wanna sort out my problems!!! Because I'm sick of feeling this way!

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Grateful :) >> 04/06/2012 10:27pm

No worries! I tend to believe a lot of people out there will express care, if given the chance. Thanks for sharing :)

Ashyblubear >> 25/05/2012 2:48pm

thanks alot, i have resentally gone to see a counciller and that has made me feel alot happier! i dont feel as if i need to get the pain to go away anymore, i have talked about my feelings and feel better now :) thanks alot for caring :)

Grateful :) >> 15/05/2012 11:31pm

Hi :)

Please don't hurt yourself. It's not going to make you feel better; it's just going to create more problems you'll have to struggle to sort out later.

Why do you think your parents won't understand? If you really don't think your parents will understand, I'd recommend making an appointment with a doctor, even if you just make it for a "cold" and then tell them what's going on. This is serious stuff if you think you might want to hurt yourself.

My dog died and im really sad about it :(

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

icanhelp >> 01/06/2012 11:16am

Please give me some advice

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Grateful :) >> 04/06/2012 10:20pm

Grief in these sorts of circumstances is perfectly natural, especially if you were quite attached to your dog and had a strong bond with him or her. I would strongly recommend against bottling it up. Talk to someone about it - whether it be your parents, your siblings, your friends, or a counselor.

I lost the person I love the most.

1 Reply Last post by Grateful :) 1 year ago

Tazzie >> 02/06/2012 10:41am

My partner and I were an amazing couple, we were together for almost a year, everybody used to comment on how great we were because we were. We had a fight on the weekend and we managed to sort it out and i thought everything was fine and back to normal because he didnt act any different and was still loving and caring Towards me the following Thursday he came home and told me that he still loves me and will never leave me but needed to go to his mums to clear his head so I accepted that thinking he just needed some space an then things will be fine but he was just down because he didn't know where his head was and the fight got to him. That weekend from Thursday he ended up hanging out with his mates who are really bad influences and spent the weekend on drugs and drinking with them and as of Sunday he just couldn't be bothered trying anymore told me he had the best weekend and didn't want to be with me anymore. I'm finding it so hard to come to terms with what happened and how out of the blue it was, I have no closure what so ever and he can't give me any either, he tells me that he still loves me and misses me but doesn't know what he wants with anything. I know how he has treated me is unfair and I shouldn't accept it but I love him so much and just want him to come back and atleast try and work things out because we had so many more good times then we did bad, he told me multiple times that he wanted a future with me, wanted to marry me and have kids with me. We were ment to be moving to Australia in a couple months together and I gave up my job for him so we could do that and start out lives together. I'm so lost and hurt and don't feel like I can get passed this and just don't know what to do with myself, can anybody give me some advise please?

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Grateful :) >> 04/06/2012 10:16pm

Hi Tazzie,

That's a confusing situation. I'm not really sure what to say, but I'd agree with your statement - you deserve better than to be treated like that.

In the scheme of things, a year isn't that long. If this is how he's acting before the first year, it's probably not going to get better. It sounds like he has some growing up to do. Waiting around for him to figure out what he wants sounds like it's super stressful for you, and rather selfish of him.

You should take care of yourself and try to focus on recovering. I would recommend spending time with your friends and family and being careful not to self-isolate. It's going to hurt for a while, but you have to look out for your personal mental health. I've learned a lot from past relationships about what I'm looking for and what I deserve, but it is certainly the most painful way to learn. When you're in a really good relationship, your partner is strong enough to support you when times are rough and won't give up on you because they can't be bothered trying to work things out.

You're stronger than you think, and you can get through this if you take care of yourself. Don't give up :) You're worth being treated well.

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