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trust

3 Replies Last post by pudlet 6 months ago

marinah >> 08/11/2012 4:28pm

i feel like ...... because i can't trust any one

Replies:

pudlet >> 23/11/2012 8:56pm

Im in this group too. Although Im a little more optimistic. I hope that I will meet someone who restores my trust in people. Till then I'm on my own. Lets start a club.

rererangi03 >> 22/11/2012 10:12am

i hear yous - this is y i feel like this - people these days just cant be trusted - if its not told to the world or laughed about they have an agenda - i could be amongst tons of people but i am still so lonely no one i can trust to talk to

wouldratherstayanon >> 20/11/2012 1:58pm

I understand how you feel. I don't trust anyone. I don't trust my friends or my family. I think that they all talk about me behind my back. I don't tell them anything because I think they're going to tell other people and laugh about how pathetic I am behind my back.

Relationship worries/issues :(

1 Reply Last post by pudlet 6 months ago

sha.cass >> 20/11/2012 12:53pm

Im not comfortable with my relationship because i have mega trust issues because of past partners im scared because i love my current partner but my past haunts me that much that my trust for him is minimal :( what do i do ?

Replies:

pudlet >> 23/11/2012 8:51pm

My last partner left me because she felt I wasnt capable of loving because of my issues. She said it wasnt my fault but rather that I didnt understand how to love, and that the world had taught me to be that way. That made her sad that I couldnt. So she decided to be my best friend instead because she knew I understood what to do then. Were going to the movies in 20 minutes.....she loves me to bits and I think shes awesome.

Confused, Feeling Alone, Missing the past

1 Reply Last post by pudlet 6 months ago

alastah >> 22/11/2012 2:56am

Hi again. i think it has been maybe a month or a few weeks since i last posted and i feel like things are not getting better if anything worse. i broke up with my soulmate nearly 2 months ago now and was feeling very depressed. then i tried not being her friend anymore but that only lasted a couple of weeks until i fell back into her presence as i was missing her teribly. and i was sort of finding my happiness again in that time period too. but then it just came out of the blue and struck me like lightning. i am 21 and our past relationship lasted 7years and i really enjoyed being the man of her life and they were really the best 7years of my life. we broke up as we felt the relationship was going up and down too much, and before we broke up we had an argument at the club, and we always argue there and i have not idea why we did. so that night i done the most stupidest thing and signed up to an online dating site, but not wanting to meet new people or anything i just wanted to get her back for us arguing without reason. then the next night we made up and everying was happy chappy she found that i had signed up in the browser history and packed up my gears and wanted me gone. i know that was a terrible thing that i had done and i really regret doing that till this day, but i really dont think that i deserved to be replaced by someone else so quickly and so fast after 7 years. i feel as if im being treated unfairly and im angry at her for moving on to someone else just after a couple of weeks after our breakup. it just feels like my heart is getting grinded up in a mincer. but on the other hand i still love her with all my heart. i honestly cant let go of her. she was and still is the angel of my life. i hate the boyfriend shes with now. but i want her to be happy, but i also want to be happy. i never anticipated that things would end like this and i didnt think she would do this to me. i was going to ask her to marry me too. but things just turned from colour to black and white i guess. ive started to hang with her again even though she has a new partner and everytime i hear his name or see that she txts him or talking to him on the phone i just want to break down and cry. i just cant be without her i just really need help. im very lost and confused and lonely at mornings and nights and crying too much. breaks my heart to see that she has moved on and she just wants to be my friend still. at the moment i think that i should just give up on us on everything we had and will happen between us in the future. my life seems real grim without her in it so im hardout confused. i never mean to hurt her so much though for her to hurt me this bad. i thought what we had was special and could not be replaced

Replies:

pudlet >> 23/11/2012 8:44pm

Im sorry your going through that.

Lost and alone

2 Replies Last post by meshell 6 months ago

iamscarface93 >> 20/11/2012 3:50pm

I'm 19 and I currently live at home with my mother. Things have been bad with us since my 18th birthday, when she kicked me out. We have a very volatile relationship, I have ALOT of anger towards her and no respect for her for the things she has done to me in the past and now. She tells me to leave and that im not wanted.. i have no other loving, responsible adult family besiders her. I cant tell anyone about what my mother is actually like because as much as i am angry at her i dont want to 'tarnish' her image. people have no idea what's going on, as we don't look like the 'stereotype' .. everyday is a struggle for me i sleep in bed. i feel like i have nothing going for me. i have no qualifications, experience or anything like that. my mum told me i have to leave so i am currently looking for somewhere to stay but i dont have much money as im on the benefit. i go to countless job interview yet to no avail. i feel lost and stuck i dont know what to do.. soon to be homeless

Replies:

meshell >> 23/11/2012 8:44pm

What a shame your day will come and you will shine... id like to think your mum would get some help, hey least you are by being on this site, Good On Yu .. your on the right path to happiness

idontknowwhattoput >> 23/11/2012 1:29am

I am in a similar situation, my mum hits me and has popped my eardrum before. I wanted to call the police but I didn't want to get her in trouble even though I know it's not right.

Black Dog - "Go Home"

2 Replies Last post by meshell 6 months ago

glendigo >> 21/11/2012 3:38pm

I gave a talk last night at a club I belong to, but soon after I started people just started breaking into groups and talking amongst themselves and ignoring me. I felt hurt, frustrated and disrespected, and a really useless presenter, so in the end I just left midway through. The groups send notes of apology, and I want to be resilient and shake it off. I want to just say it just wasn't a good night, and maybe giving talks isn't my strong suit and go on as friends with my head held high, but I keep ruminating, like I can't cope, I'm no good, I have no presenter skills, I'm not interesting enough, I don't fit in, they don't really want me there, etc, and I just want to hide away in my room and stay away from everyone. Those unhealthy thoughts from the Black Dog are moving back into my head . I don't want to be a walk over and say it's okay to disrespect me, but I need to get this into perspective and move on with a happy sociable positive life. How can I break the negative thought spiral?

Replies:

meshell >> 23/11/2012 8:34pm

People can be so thoughtless....don't let it get to you you are stronger than you know.
Take care time is a good healer, or go an do something you really enjoy that you haven done in ages. All the Besto

Lea778 >> 22/11/2012 8:01pm

Hello its sad that those people started ignoring you while presenting. Definately disheartening. Presenting is scary enough! I can remember how scared I was when I first presented, I couldn't speak! It was terrible becasue it was for a university project and speaking was part of showing how much you had learned. I hadn't learned to speak! Soon after that I started attending Toastmaster meetings. They are really nice people and understanding becasue most of them started Toastmasters to improve their confidence with speaking. too. You also get to hear hwaht the audience thinks and the surprising thing is that you hear a lot of good things! I remember giving my first speech. I was so nervous and thought it was terrible, but then I heard how interesting it was and they acknoweldged the courage it took to stand and speak to an audience (of about 15 people). The biggest thing I have learned is that people are not thinking terrible things, the things I would make up in my mind. That in itself gives confidence. I've gotten better at speaking from the help of fellow Toastmasters. They have shown me how to improve with presenting, and I've gained confidence. I really recomend joining a Toastmasters club :-)

Stupid Me....

Last post by 618 6 months ago

618 >> 20/11/2012 12:36am

I finally start counselling for PTSD and major depression and I sink back into old habit, all self destructive, but all to numb me as I am having everything opened up, whether I talk or not in a session. I need to feel numb, what I am doing is not helping. I have previously had addiction problems, and I know I am heading there again. I don't know if my friends care, I don't yet trust or know my therapist very well and have found myself closing down more than ever. I am doing anything I can to avoid being around people, I don't feel like anyone ujnderstands. I feel really, really low, and just want to be left to do what I want. As long as I stop feeling and reliving my life over and over again.

How do I help my best friend with her anxiety

1 Reply Last post by Arod 6 months ago

happy(: >> 17/11/2012 9:02am

My best friend has recently become really anxious about everything and she has started going too a councillor i was just wondering how i can help her and what i should do to make her more happy? I deas?

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Arod >> 19/11/2012 10:33pm

Hey,


You sound like a wonderful friend coming on here to ask how you can best support your friend she is lucky to have you. As someone who has had severe anxiety I reccome d just affirming her it can be scary going to a counselor so she has done a brave thing so congratulate her. When you have anxiety little things can take a lot of effort so acknowledge these achievements listen to her remind her why you love her. Look after yourself too and don't forget to have fun. She will be fine she is doing the right things seeing a counsellor and has a really supportive friend watching out for her.

Help

1 Reply Last post by Arod 6 months ago

Letdown1 >> 17/11/2012 10:59am

I'm 18. I'm to scared to get help. I'm in the middle of 7th form exams, my mother has bipolar my brother is autistic and my sister is insecure. My father lives overseas and I'm stuck in the middle of everything. I have a mother putting my name in debt using a credit card under my name, bills under my name. I can't change them because I will get kicked out. I'm moving on the 13th of Feb from auckland to Christchurch for uni and i cant wait to get out of this house, I'm depressed. I am a disappointment. I used to be happy with the way I look and now I hate myself. I hide from the world. I was in counselling at school and they were concerned and I saw a specialist. I didn't want to open up so I put a brave face on. I didn't know them. I didn't want to tell them how down I really was. I didn't want to seem weak as people look at me and think I'm strong but I'm not. I don't want to be this person anymore but if my family found out I was getting help it would cause problems. I don't know what to do.

Replies:

Arod >> 19/11/2012 10:26pm

Hey,


Wow that's heaps to be going through your not a dissappointment your a beautiful worthwhile person that has a lot to offer the world. you said you went to see someone but put on a brave face because you didint want them to think your weak your not weak look at all you have been through in your life to me you seem pretty tough. If you find it hard to talk to someone maybe you could write how your feeling down and send it to them Beforehand. This has been helpful to me I have been seeing a psychologist for a bit who is helping me recover from depression initially I thought it was pointless because I felt stupid and couldint say things but now I email her my problems before we meet and you know what it's working. This is just what works for me you have to find something that works for you just thought I would offer a suggestion and my experience. I wish you all the best because you deserve it.

help...? i don't want to do this anymore

1 Reply Last post by Arod 6 months ago

the_darkroom >> 17/11/2012 1:31pm

Hey.. I never done this before but yea..
Im almost 18 and am just finishing my last year of high school.
I have had a lot of struggles. I have dyslexia, dyspraxia and dyscalculia. which makes school work frustrating and often get overwhelmed.. I not that great with people and have been bullied in school in the past. I get really anxious but I have finally found something I am good at and find my learning difficulties don't affect it but actually make me better at what I do.
The problem is...
This year I been in and out of home with many family issues. There has been a problem with domestic violence in my house hold and I have gotten through it by getting help myself to deal with the feelings. My family is not very supportive and I often feel alone. They don't support my education or really anything. Over the last three months I have been really down... sometimes for no reason at all. I have had trouble with sleeping,eating and have lost interest in things that I used to enjoy. I don't really see any of my friends anymore and when I do I mask my true feelings.. My best friend has pulled away from me now because she doesn't understand the kind of pressure and trouble I feel. I tried to explain to her but it didn't really work out. I feel like a really bad selfish person. I talk to a school counselor but now have to go get further help. This makes me really scared. My family has no idea that I have started going to a place about my feelings and depression... we don't even talk about the fact I have learning difficulties. Im really down and feel really alone and don't know if to tell my family, who are never around and just don't care. Is it ok to feel this scared about getting help. My home life sucks and I just feel like everything is just too overwhelming and I can't deal with it anymore.

Replies:

Arod >> 19/11/2012 10:14pm

Hey,

Sounds like things have been really tough for. From your post you definitely don't sound selfish at all of course it is okay to feel scared of getting help infact it is quite a normal feeling to have but I have you heard that quote anything that's worth doing should scare you a bit. For all that you have been through you deserve to get the help you need and you deserve to be happy. Wishing you all the best

sad lonely and depressed

1 Reply Last post by Arod 6 months ago

taitbait >> 17/11/2012 2:25pm

im 14 years old boy and my dad is missing person from the earthquakes in 22nd feburary i miss my dad i want to have him come back so badly even tho his name isnt on the offical record of names i know in my heart he is buried in there somewhere waiting to be found to come back to me

Replies:

Arod >> 19/11/2012 10:07pm

Hello,

What a terrible thing to experience at such a young age I don't know what else to say except that life can be really unfair sometimes. Have you talked to a counsellor about this ? Just a thought sometimes they can be very helpful. Lots of love to you

HAPPY?

2 Replies Last post by Arod 6 months ago

four >> 15/11/2012 8:39pm

I think i have a very serious problem... I can laugh, i can joke, i can kid around and i can be funny but yet i don't feel happy...
The worse part is there is no particular reason for me not to be happy... I have a great partner and two awesome dogs and things are all in line and as expected/typical... Yet i feel more like an idiot because i am not happy, am i incapable of feeling happy...
To be honest i only really started to notice it as of a few days ago where i just would look at my life and feel... Well nothing, yet have so much that i should feel something...
Its almost like a numb feeling, where i am so confused by my own thoughts and feelings that i just become lost and numb...
I think there are people out there that are a lot worse of and think i am just being silly, yet i still can't work out what is wrong with me!

Replies:

Arod >> 19/11/2012 10:02pm

Hey there,

Please don't feel stupid about how you feel and don't compare yourself to others by saying other people have been so much so much worse things and managed so my feelings are silly THERE NOT trust me from personal experience this way of thinking only makes things much worse. You said you had a great partner have you tried reaching out to them even if you are not really sure how you feel people who care about you generally want to support you. I do also think you would be suprized to know how many people have felt like you who also don't think they should be unhappy it is very normal and people will understand take care

Delia >> 18/11/2012 8:01pm

Usually when people look back on their life and feel nothing it generally means that they aren't actually fulfilled with the way that they have lived their life so I would as that you should try to live a little and take up some hobbies or do something with your partner, travel a little. Stuff that you want to do.

frustrated

Last post by onwards.and.upwards 6 months ago

onwards.and.upwards >> 19/11/2012 9:24pm

i was diagnosed with depression recently, had been suffering for years but couldn't really pinpoint what was wrong. have been on antidepressants now for three months, noticed some big, positive changes which was awesome, but feeling myself spiral back downwards recently is a bit scary. the docotr told me it would be a bit up and down on the way back to feeling better, but you never really realise how crap the down parts are until you hit them again. i just feel like an absolute nana, going to bed super early, getting 9 hours of sleep, feeling like a zombie if i get anything less than 7 hours of sleep. then i am so tired that i dont want to exercise. so then i start to feel even worse. its such a frustrating cycle. and then then I am low, all the negative thoughts come running back, loud as ever again. and all i can focus on is the negatives. its hard because my friends are used to me being the fun bubbly energetic person i used to be, but i just can't do that anymore. i am definitely more of a daytime person now, and love early mornings and early nights and when friends ask me to go out, drinking, partying, whatever, i just dont want to. i know that i'll be tired the next day, for days afterwards even, get a migraine if i dont get enough sleep, and i dont enjoy that. so i constantly feel like i am letting my friends down, and also missing out. but its hard because i dont WANT to do that anymore. i like to go out for dinners and to night markets, and my friends are happy to do that with me as well, which is great, but then they say they want to go out as well, and i just dont want to. Alcohol doesnt agree with me much anymore, and i dont mind, I'm happy to have non-alcoholic drinks and still be out with my friends, but when they are very drunk, its not much fun. and i get cold and tired, and want to go home, and just end up feeling like i am the most boring person in the world. i tried counselling a few times but when i talk about it outloud, it all gets reduced to words, words that dont really make it seem as big as it actually feels. so i leave thinking the world is a great place, full of optimism, which is GREAT, and i love feeling that, but it never seems to last. ths is me at my lowest, and i know that, and i know things will get better and i have goals and plans in action to help me get there, but it just gets so overwhelming and frustrating sometimes. like now. i find writing about it really helps, so this is quite good :)
thanks for reading if anyone gets this far down :P
good luck with your own journey x

letting go

1 Reply Last post by Lea778 6 months ago

leon4000 >> 19/11/2012 2:25pm

I'm really depressed at the moment life's a drag and I'm finding it hard to find a reason to want be active and live properly. Whenever i am faced with people who seem to care about my feelings I instinctively withdraw and then when I'm alone I beat myself up about it or make a rash decision or action. I want to be able to be without making others have to care for me because of my selfish actions. my life is such a mess I feel like holding on to a thought is to difficult and just have all these half thoughts floating around , like my bills, car, rent, relationships I know I've got these things in a unfinished state and they haunt me. i still have hope though and a good thing I've learnt is to be grateful for all the people who are in this with me and how they help. The simple things are what it's about and that makes me feel good like walking or reading or giving a friend some kind words. i really just want to forgive myself and move on from my dark ways and it's harder than i thought

Replies:

Lea778 >> 19/11/2012 8:39pm

That sounds a bit like me, except I couldnt' have written it in words that well. I like the positive bit about walking and reading at the end. Logic puzzels are an interesting activity that I've found kinda gets your brain out of that haze.

low low low

Last post by motiyee 6 months ago

motiyee >> 18/11/2012 10:54pm

I am suffering so much lately... so damn low.. im struggling to reach out to anyone and im scared about how low i get..so im aware of how low i can go.. my biggest problem is reaching out to people i know.. and it seems as a result my partner is suffering... i need a magic happy pill

This point in life

Last post by Delia 6 months ago

Delia >> 18/11/2012 7:39pm

To be honest, I don't know what happened to my life. I used to have a couple really close friends and lots of friends that I could hang out with and stuff but over the last few months, i've been becoming really distant to them and my family, none of the things that interested me before interest me now, I have closed up and whenever someone tries to get close to me, I lash out at them even though I know that they are just trying to be kind. My parents are trying to make me feel better 'cause they think I'm just feeling a little down at the moment but for some reason when someone brings my mood up, I get angry and defensive and then when they leave me alone I just start crying. Now I never used to cry, I was always a laughing and smiling person who tried to make the best out of a bad situation and laugh about it, but lately (it seems pathetic that I'm actually saying this all of this) it's like the person that I was, has taken a back seat and the person that seems to be in control of my body and mind at the moment is angry and sad and all of these emotions is lashing out at everyone and seems intent on making them all leave and I can't seem to open up to my friends or family about this. I just don't know what's happened to the girl I used to be, I'm only 16 and this probably sounds like a teenagers silly immature problems but I don't want to be this girl, I want to go back to being happy and laughing and smiling lots, I don't know how to get her back though.

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