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its not like me to feel this way

1 Reply Last post by Blingbling 3 months ago

johnomerry >> 14/06/2010 12:21pm

iv bin relly down the last couple of weeks and im normally the guy who is the happy dont let nething get to you type but lately things that dont normally get me down have bin iv bin getting down about work and my girlfriends just moved away, i liv with my old lady, i dont want to feel this way it suxs i just want to get back to being me again just dont know how to get there

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Blingbling >> 16/06/2010 8:46pm

i soo know wht ya mean.. ive been having these stuff going on, n ive just truned into someone i dont even recognise myself anymore... i dont know who i am.. n its scary :(

I don't know what to do.

1 Reply Last post by landa 3 months ago

SherbetLemon >> 10/06/2010 12:21pm

I'm pretty much sad, all the time, I feel unwanted and fat and useless. I'm tired pretty much all the time, I end up sleeping a lot during the day and not a lot at night. I have no drive to do anything. I'm pushing my boyfriend away because I'm obsessive and I have no self esteem. I love him more than anything and I'm screwing up his life. I can't help feeling like this. I don't know what to do.

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landa >> 15/06/2010 3:14pm

im 19 yrs old and hav a 20month old daughter, her dad is in rehab, iv been trying so hard with him and helping him change and spending time with his daughter, i only just found out that he is sleeping with an actual working girl, while i was taking my daughter there and spending time with him also. my heart feels broken and completly let down. i feel numb and i cnt bare to eat. and i duno what to do? i trashed his whole house and he is threatning me and his girlfriend keeps running her mouth to me. i have exams tomorrow and i cant concentrate because i just keep having images of them in my head.

Anti depressants

4 Replies Last post by nosliws 3 months ago

Jojo23 >> 02/06/2010 8:11pm

I was diagnosed with depression at 16, and the first course of action taken was to put me on Prozac, or as it is more commonly known, Fluoxitine (excuse spelling). What I would like to ask is: Are drugs given out too easily to deal with this? What other methods have you used to fight depression?
I am hoping to find alternatives to drugs for treatment.

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nosliws >> 14/06/2010 7:30pm

I think anti depressants are good in some cases. I went on anti depressant about 6 months ago (fluox) they definitely lifted my mood but found the side effects too much and stopped taking them. Went on herbal medicine which was good for a while but now I'm feeling crap again. I think it is just a matter of finding the right anti depressant medication that works for you and there should be no shame in taking medication. Depression is an illness and others think nothing of taking pain killers or anti biotics when they are not well. Anti depressants are for an illness too.

MusicToMyEars >> 09/06/2010 6:34pm

So you're telling me anti-depressants don't work? There's no quick fix? I suppose that's the wrong question to be asking, but ijust want to stop feeeeliong like this!!

SeanAC >> 07/06/2010 4:03am

Heya!

I can understand how you feel. A few years ago when I had quite severe depression I really avoided anti-depressants because I didn't want to get stuck on the pills. In my mind it was kind of like saying that there was something wrong with me, or that I was "crazy". Eventually I got put on the pills, and at first they seemed to do nothing but they slowly started to lift my moods, and eventually I realised "Hey, life isn't so bad".

The truth is life nowadays is very stressful, and especially in school I think parents forget that school is a really stressful environment and there is a lot going on even if to them it seems like you don't have to do much. With the introduction of computers, social networking and cell phones, it means that you are never really disconnected from everyone around you. Unfortunately it also means the kinds of people we don't want to see or talk to are able to hold of us, even in the safety of our homes.

I think that there a lot of reasons that anti depressants are given out more than they used to. I think the biggest thing is that society is starting to recognise that Depression is a genuine and very common issue. It used to be really frowned upon for someone to admit they were depressed. Quite often if someone was feeling down they were told just to "harden up". Another thing to remember is that life is very fast paced now, planes and trains need to go faster, work needs to be done sooner. We live in a world where every second counts. There is a lot more to think about - life isn't as simple as it used to be. I think probably the modern diet doesn't help much either, who knows what all these processed food are doing to our bodies.

For many people, anti-depressants just help you cope a little better when times are tough. During the period I used anti-depressants there was a lot of significant family issues going on. But once everything settled down a bit I was able to wean myself off them and now I don't need them at all. Unfortunately a lot of people start to feel better on anti depressants and then they decide they don't need them. They suddenly stop taking them and then after a couple of days their mood drops. If you want to get off your anti-depressants just make sure that you talk to your doctor and he can gradually reduce it. If you are on a lower dose and your mood starts to drop it won't completely drop and you will know you aren't ready just yet. Anti-depressants don't have to be a lifetime fix, but being off anti-depressants shouldn't be a goal either. Don't rush yourself, there is no reason why you should have to feel you need to be off them.

There were a lot of things which helped me get off anti-depressants. I watch a lot of comedy shows, sometimes when life is tough all you need is a good laugh. The other thing is writing down the things which make you worry, and also writing down what you really want out of life. When you have everything written down it allows you to get things in perspective and order, rather than having it all floating around in your head. It is also good to look at what problems you can fix now, and what can't be dealt with. If you can't deal with the issue, put it to the back of your mind. Finally going to the gym really helped me out. Sometimes just getting out of the house and going for a walk, or going to the gym and really having a good workout (as well as improving your body image) can really make you feel better. It's actually a well known fact that exercise can improve your mood, when you have a good workout your body releases chemicals which make you feel happy.

I hope that helps!
Sean.

Taesafrog >> 04/06/2010 9:23pm

Hi i was diognosed with depression a few years ago and my doctor put me on fluoxitine i found it didnt work for me. After some problems with a girl at a course i was doing i started going to a kick boxing class and found exersise helped alot more than the meds the doctor had put me on. Its different for everyone but for me i find exersise the best way to make me feel better

everythings slipping away

2 Replies Last post by Alelei 3 months ago

california333 >> 07/06/2010 3:54pm

lately i havnt been feeling so good.nothing feels right and it feels like im losing things in my life.

me and my best friend had an argument the other day and its been a long time coming.it was about the fact that she never asks me to anything with her and shes always hanging out with these new dodgy people that i dont even know.she says that every time she asks i say no but thats not true because she hasnt asked in so long so i never get the chance to say no.its really upsetting because shes my only close friend and right now shed rather hang out with my brother or even strangers than me
iv been having trouble with my boyfriend.well atleast it feels like i have.he seems fine.but i just get the feeling he doesnt want to talk to be or be around me.we arranged to hang out a few days ago and the night beforehand i was tryna get hold of him to make sure everything was still on but i couldnt talk to him in any way.i talked to his sister and she said hed gone to stay at his mates house for the night which ment we wouldnt be hanging out the next day.i didnt know what to say.he didnt call me to cancel or anything.has he forgotten me?or did he do it on purpose?i dont know what to think
iv also felt like my brother isnt as close to me as he used to be,he seems to be too interested in girls than to even help me with my problems.
i dont know what to do
any ideas??

Replies:

Alelei >> 14/06/2010 3:30pm

Heya.
You should definately use facebook if you don't already have one. It's a great way to meet new people and just chat with others. Oh and it's fun (Well i think so lol) Just be yourself & for sure you make a new friend or two. I know how you feel and trust me you are not alone. Maybe you might be shy, but don't be afraid to make new friends. If you need to talk or whatever, im here. (:

Alelei >> 14/06/2010 2:37pm

Naww.. mateeey, i know what it's like. I've felt for a while now that me and my best friend are drifting apart :( Recently she has been hanging out with all these random people that I don't really know & she's been getting upto some bad things that worry me. Because I don't want to lose her.

About your bf, i feel sorry for you cause if he really cares about you, then he would make the effort to spend time with you. And if things come up, he should contact you straight away to let you know. If you haven't already told how you feel, maybe it might help to talk to him about it if you feel comfortable enough.

You may feel like things are slipping away, but pretty please dont give up.You are not alone.Fight for what and who you love. Hold onto hope & try ur best not to let go. If you need someone 2 talk to, im here for you :) x

I feel better here

3 Replies Last post by MusicToMyEars 3 months ago

MusicToMyEars >> 09/06/2010 6:56pm

I don't really feel like I can talk to anyone I know about it. I.... I kind of feel like I'm faking, or I dunno maybe I just don't feel like anyone would believe me?? is that silly? am I faking? or am I right, they wouldn't understand?
So I feel better here, talking to strangers (maybe to myself) who don't know me from their local dairy owner. I told my mum, and she didn't believe me "you're too happy to be depressed". That was when I was 13. I gave up for a while but recently tried to slip it into conversation with my bf by repeating what she told me. That didn't work, he agreed with her. I guess they didn't really get that whole faking it thing. Smiles don't mean you're happy, they just mean you're surviving.
I tried to tell a friend once, she took it well, loaded me up on information and everything. But I think it was the way she did it that put me off, put it in and envelope and handed it over, didnt really talk about it at all. I'm now 16 and I think she thinks I'm over it.

What worries my most I think is exactly that though, that people won't believe me, they won't listen, or they'll tell me it's my diet or lack of exercise (it aint, I've varied over the last few years). All I want is some help!!! It's not like I havn't tried. If my own mother thinks I'm lying who else is there to tell? Are you all going to tell me I'm lying? are you going to tell me it's just a phase?

I dunno, maybe I am. But all I can say is that any time I'm alone my shadow comes back. Some days it's not so bad, having a good day, comfort food in hand, "I'll just watch some tele, read a book, have a bath". But some days the shadow is there and it hurts, it's crushing, my chest aches with it, because tomorrow won't be better, I have to live through 12 hours after I wake before I can crawl back into bed.

I dunno. I prolly sound like some angsty teenager, why even bother right?

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MusicToMyEars >> 13/06/2010 7:31pm

Thanks so much. It may not mean much to you, but it means the world to know you're not alone. And thanks for the suggestions, ill see what i can do

Miss Jay >> 10/06/2010 8:46pm

I know how you feel, i feel exactly the same.
it feels like IF i ask for help then (in my family) it is seen as a weakness... but when i do finally reach out i get told i'm always smiling and happy so "oh yeah" or "cheer up".
which i'm guessing you know how that feels
i paint on a face (on the days when i leave the house)
i have tried talking to my gp and he's referred me to someone who has referred me to someone who has referred me to someone so on and so on......all of the people i hve been referred to haven't gotten back to me... the txt support from here is good though..... so you DONT sound like an angsty teenager... it does happen, and it is hard too.
I dont have a solution or any methods of dealing with it because i dont know either BUT just know you truly arent alone... i feel the same

marshmellow >> 10/06/2010 12:04pm

i understand what u mean when u feel like ur faking it, u put a smile on when ur around other people but when ur alone ur ur real self with real feelings sometimes i feeling the same cos when im not around people and im all depressed and down only me and my partner see how i am and when im out and about im different i find it the hardest to tell my family how i truely feel most of the time its taken a couple of years but my family can now tell when im not myself and they r starting to understand i found writing the really bad stuff and feelings down and leting them read it was easier than saying it

try talking to ur gp about how ur feeling they might b able to help u find someone u can talk to

try and give urself something to look ford to each day even if its just the tinyest thing

helpp.. nothing i do fixes anything..

1 Reply Last post by SherbetLemon 3 months ago

eenahh >> 08/06/2010 1:09am

no matter who i talk to no one seems to know what to say to me . even counsellors pass me on to other people and they pass me off to other people.. just a neverending evil cycle and i am still no better than i have been.. if anything i am worse. i so just want to give up, people say not to yett they odnt know how to help me.. is there even any point in trying to fix things anymore ..? i really dont think there is.

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SherbetLemon >> 12/06/2010 6:59pm

I kind of know what you mean. But tbh, I actually admire you. I don't have the guts to get real help. There's always hope. Even if it doesn't feel like it. There's always someone that loves you. Sorry if this doesn't help. I just get feeling not wanted. My whole family's given up on me and my boyfriend recently told me it's a miricle he still loves me. At least you have the guts to get help. Sorry I suck at helping. I'm not very good with people. /:

Is It Worth It

2 Replies Last post by Lianna 3 months ago

Lianna >> 09/06/2010 2:41pm

Well This Is Been Happening Too Me For About two Months .I Dont Know Why Its Gotten This Serious But I Hate It So Much.My Doctor Said Its Normal For A Girl My Age To Feel This But I Just Want It Too End.When It Started My Mum Had Grounded Me From Seeing anyone On The Second Day Of My Grounding It Hit Me Its Just Gotten Worst From Then.My Best Friend Isnt The Same As She Use To Be.Things Have Changed .She Doesnt Understand That I Need Her.She Lies To Me And Doesnt Know That I Find Out.Im Lonely She Doesnt Understand That Too.This Is When I Need Her The Most.Ive Decided Too Go To Dunedin But It Feels Like Im Just Running Away From My Problems..I Dont Know What To Do Anymore

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Lianna >> 10/06/2010 1:32pm

Thats Why Im Confused I Wanna Go Down There To Try Clear My Head But Then I Will Just Have More Time To Think About Stuff And When I Start Thinking I Start Crying So
???

MusicToMyEars >> 09/06/2010 7:00pm

Ouch I know how you feel. Wish I could run from my problems some days. But don't ya think they'll just follow you? maybe it isn't the people or the scenery? I'm not really in a place to give advice but if you can enjoy Dunedin, congrats, but if it doesn't last maybe look for a better solution?

It seems to just get worse and worse..

Last post by *Tiff* 3 months ago

*Tiff* >> 10/06/2010 3:07am

Hey guys, I posted a topic a little while back about what's been going on in my life, but a lot has changed since that post, so I felt I should spill the details to someone who will listen...
Basically everything's the same as before. I'm now talking to my ex again, and things seem to be going okay.. Though I've been told I'm treading on thin ice with him :/ .. I keep being reminded of my past with him and he tells me he still cares about me. I don't know how to earn him back even as a friend, because everything I do seems to push him away.
Someone give me some kinda advice? please..
I'm so scared of what I'm doing.. And I really want my ex to stay around..

help am i depressed?

2 Replies Last post by Jay_JWLH 3 months ago

Melissa14 >> 02/06/2010 10:00pm

i feel sad when im alone.i never want to spend time with my friends.i think im fat and ugly.i lie to m friends and family.sometimes i cry myself to sleep.im not close to my dad or mum really.i feel alone.i have no bf but lie and say that i do.am i depressed and if you think so what should i do?

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Jay_JWLH >> 09/06/2010 9:31pm

I will start by saying that to be sure, you would go ask your doctor that. But I would say that you are, and I would say that you are deliberately hiding yourself away from all your problems and not letting anyone know what is really going on with you. I would expect people with depression to have trouble dealing with it even when they have a lot of reasons not to feel that way, but what you are doing is constantly making you feel that way, so by making some changes to the way you live your life you can be happier. Even I can understand how easy it is to brush away those that care about you, telling them what it takes to keep them happy and think you are fine when you really aren't. Even if it isn't your family you want to talk to, there must be somebody that you know and think you can trust that you can come clean to. And even then, you have to be willing to take at least some of their hard to listen advice seriously.

Get yourself more out of hiding. Hang out in the lounge with your family, just getting yourself out there. Hang out with your friends at least a little, and when the time is right, clear up that whole lie about having a BF. You don't really want that guilt of a lie hanging around with you for too much longer, and people are going to start wanting to know more eventually anyway. Eventually along the line you will also get to work on the way that you feel about yourself. Everyone will think badly about themselves at one point, but you musn't spend too much time thinking by yourself. It is too easy to lose touch with reality when you stay by yourself all of the time.

california333 >> 05/06/2010 1:42pm

it does sound like your depressed.i went through a phase like this once.i felt like i was gonna be alone forever.but i started hanging out with my mates more even if i didnt feel like it.they made me feel so much better.i just talked to them about everything i was feeling and eventually i had a better perspective on life.about a month later i started dating my current boyfriend so youv just gotta be positive and try to be happy with who you are.i know its way easier said than done but give it a go anyway.things will turn out ok.hope you get happier =]

Taking the low blows

Last post by katz22 3 months ago

katz22 >> 08/06/2010 5:15pm

I'm trying to keep my head in the game and its been really, really hard.
I went to a party on Saturday, had a really great time and there were quite a few guys hitting on me (NB I wasn't looking all skanked up or anything). I get back to work and suddenly there's all this talk about how I'm a slut, sleeping around with all these guys and I'm only in my position at work because I slept my way there.
I've worked extremely hard to get where I am, so this is really hard for me to deal. It's come on top of someone breaking into my car and stealing my cell, not long after I'd had an accident and written my old car off. On top of this are all my financial troubles and my mate being very sick in hospital.
My boss said not to worry about it, he also said I've had a lot to deal with and I'm stronger than I give myself credit for. He thinks someone else would probably have left. That's pretty strong stuff. I really wish someone would give me some credit for where I've gotten to, just let me go out and be myself.
But in saying that, how the hell do I stop caring so much? If I could just relax a little and get this out of my mind, I'd be doing great. I just care far too much about what other people think.

Relatoinship problems

1 Reply Last post by black_fins 3 months ago

button63 >> 03/06/2010 2:36pm

Hey. My boyfriend and I are having big relationship problems, and I was wondering if any one is aware of anywhere in Wellington where we can get free counseling? I’ve had depression before and don’t at the moment, but I know if this continues I will slip back into old habits. If anyone can help, please let me know. I’m 20 and my boyfriend is 23, we’ve been together for 2 and a half years.

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black_fins >> 07/06/2010 10:54pm

if your registered at ropate medical center you can ( thats in the hutt) and relationship services in lower hutt high street can arrange prices depending on your situation. if you have kids if only of you are working that kind of thing

Does it mean im depressed if...?

Last post by Honey&Clover 3 months ago

Honey&Clover >> 07/06/2010 7:13pm

I get really down and i just dont really feel anything (emotion)
Or wonder what'd itd be like if i didnt exist, but its not always it kinda comes and goes
and even when im happy i kinda wonder when im going to screw things up....

lost

2 Replies Last post by SeanAC 3 months ago

c.e >> 29/05/2010 12:28pm

have no idea what to do.want to explain but cant be bothered.help

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SeanAC >> 07/06/2010 4:23am

Hey!

I can understand how you feel. I know back when I was depressed a lot of the time I just felt like I had no energy, I just felt so down and nothing was really appealing to me. Even my favourite TV shows and games couldn't make me feel better. Unfortunately the problem with depression is that when you get in a low mood it really sucks all the energy and the happiness out of you. A lot of the time people who get depressed no longer feel like going out, they want to just stay in the house and even the smallest tasks can seem like this huge weight on your shoulders.

I know that when you are down it can be really frustrating. You want to talk to someone, you want to feel better but you just can't think straight. Everything is swirling around in your head and you don't know what you are doing any more. Don’t worry about it – it happens to a lot of people. You aren’t alone there.

I think the best thing you can do to help yourself is just sit down. Take a deep breath, have a glass of water. Then you need to get out a piece of paper and a pen and just jot down what’s going through your head. A good start would be the things which you are worried about at the moment. What are your biggest worries, what are the things which seem to be stuck in your mind? Then you should write down all the things you want to do, what you want to achieve. Just remember that it doesn’t have to be tidy, it doesn’t have to be long sentences just small words which have meaning to you will do. Just forget about all the spelling, the grammar, everything like that. This is just for you; no one else needs to see it.

What most people find when they do this is all those big worries in your head aren’t as big as you thought they are. The other thing is that most of them you probably can’t deal with right now anyway! So why worry about things you can’t fix at the moment. Put them aside, put them out of your mind and tell yourself I don’t have to deal with them at the moment. And maybe you need a bit of a plan. Unfortunately one of the biggest problems I have found with depression is that it is caused when you don’t know what you are doing, or what you want to do. You kind of get stuck in a bit of a mess. If you have nothing you need to do, find something to do. Go for a walk – some fresh air will really help clear your mind. I like to watch funny youtube videos, or read some stuff on failblog or fmylife. Sometimes it helps to know that you aren’t the only one who does silly things at times.

And a big thing is you need to talk to someone. You don’t even need to talk to them about how you are feeling. Just casual chatting can really make you feel better. You could talk about anything, the news, the weather, anything. It can help get your mind of the negative things. And finally, why don’t you write up here what is going on in your life. The great thing about the internet is we don’t know you in real life, we can’t judge you. You can tell us your problems, get an impartial opinion and not have to worry about what we might think. The best thing you can do for yourself is realise it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You need to think about yourself.

Take care,
Sean

lost89 >> 01/06/2010 2:59pm

can't be bothered? or dont know how?

whats going on? maybe try to just start typing and see what happens. :-)

Trying so hard

Last post by Seoul 3 months ago

Seoul >> 06/06/2010 9:06pm

I have worked so hard with everything-career relationships and general living and it just continually blows up in my face. I feel like everything I do is just a waste and I'm sick of trying.

I don't see the point in putting in all this effort for what??

Low on life feeling useless

Last post by waapz 3 months ago

waapz >> 06/06/2010 7:33pm

i recently moved back home and had these big plans for me and my long term BF until a week before i moved back he called and said he wanted to break up. When i came back we still met up and did things BF & GF do but then i found out that a few days before i came back he had slept and was seeing this other girl. we talked it out and he basically strung me along as much as he could making me believe that he was just using her when in fact it was me he was using. we had been together for 5 years at this point and im not one to do anything lightly so i had given him everything my whole heart and these actions by him came out of nowhere. anyway since this i have barely gone to sleep at night without crying or thinking about him it has been 6 months since i have seen him and my love for him has not diminshed yet i feel so worthless without him....is this depression or am i just way too emotional???

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