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Last post by jess4444 2 months ago

jess4444 >> 05/07/2010 4:34pm

At the end of last year my nana had a stroke and my sister and I moved into her house so she could move in with my parents and I was so sad and felt very alone and I didn't eat very much at all for quite a long time. And I have never told anyone how miserable I was and it still makes me so sad sometimes. I feel like I made such a terrible mistake and I stuffed up so many of my relationships with people and that I can never be properly honest with anyone again. And sometimes I think I did it on purpose, like I wanted to make myself feel bad and now I've got what I wanted and I'm never going to be really happy again.
And I feel stupid because it was so long ago and it still bothers me.

feeling upset!

2 Replies Last post by randomzz 2 months ago

toryelvidge >> 29/06/2010 6:33pm

so last year i was bullied and i was moved schools to put a stop to it and have a fresh start. now at my new school, this girl has spread some stuff about me. i sufferd form depression last year got better, but now im afraid its much worse , i told my step sister and she thinks i brought it on my self but thanks to this girl evry school in cristchurch thinks i did this stuff. going to an all girls school doesn't help but i didn't do a thing to her and now everyone hates me. everyday they yell stuff at me, averynight i would go on face book to find people commenting on my page about me. its making it worse. imreally scared! help me!! please!! asap!!

Replies:

randomzz >> 03/07/2010 8:20pm

bullies feed off your reactions to what they are saying or doing...i was bullied for years then 2years thru high school i just stopped reacting and ignored what they said and did to me and pretended like i didnt care, and laughing at the horrible names they called me-yes its extremly hard but i found bullies get bored and move onto someone else if you dont react.

AshleighC >> 30/06/2010 10:43am

Hey There

Sounds like some people are jealous of you. Did this girl know who you are? Were you guys friends? If so, then sounds like something has gone down, and people just cant handle it.

Its not fair on you that you have to put up with this, because no one deserves to be put through this. its good to hear you got through your depression, but this situation sounds like its just winding it back up again.

As for your step sister, trust me they will always believe something is your fault. if you have a strong relationship with your sister, she should be there to help you. Maybe you should tell her that things are really getting out of hand and that you dont have many people to help you right now..
Everyone that is harrassing you on Facebook, I think maybe you should block these people and make a complaint to the Facebook 'People'. .

Always remember that people are here to help you.
Kia Kaha.
Hope this helps.
Ashleigh x

putting up barriers

2 Replies Last post by whitney 2 months ago

meee >> 17/06/2010 8:33pm

I never do things like this, i haven't told anyone the way i feel. I hate it.

I am of sixteen years of age and every body who knows me see's me as this positive, lively person. Two years ago, 7 days before Christmas I was admitted in to hospital.

After i was out of hospital i went to councilling, (because i had to, i really didn't want to)that did nothing for me, i felt like the Councillor was a textbook, she was telling me things she was trained to. I told her things she wanted to here. After 6 weeks of it, i finally escaped. But i felt unsatisfied, but like i do, i kept it to myself.. Telling people things like 'oh yeah it was great'. I hadn't fully recovered.

I haven't told any of my friends because i felt they wouldn't care.. Again i was scared of rejection. Most of them haven't experienced what i have so they wouldn't know what to do or say. I don't like when people ask me heart-to-heart questions.

Here i am today still not over my 'minor depression', I relapse every year and its hitting me now. Im sick, i feel like im a screw up and that i have this huge wait on my shoulders that cant be removed, i feel like all eyes are on me. I Hate this feeling, the feeling that im shadowing the negative. My happiness is this mask so that no one see's what im truly feeling.

I want help, but all the help I've had so far has been rubbish. Please someone point me in a right direction.

Replies:

whitney >> 01/07/2010 10:01pm

I know exactly how you feel, by the sounds of it were both viewed as the same kind of person. for years and years i have been the bubbly down to earth happy one. untill this year, i dont know what it is. but the last couple have months have all built up on top of me and ive fell into what i think is depression. im currently to scared to see a councillor to confirm my worry but i know it needs to be done or else im never going to get better. im way to scared to tell my new boyfriend incase he judges me differently. i dont really know whats making me like this but i hate not being as happy as i used to be

wolfie17 >> 22/06/2010 1:02pm

i dont know about right directions... i still get lost myself... i too wore a mask and i couldnt let it down, not even for my psychiatrist so she thinks my depression is not as bad as it is... its often hard to talk to relatives because they are just too close to you for you to want to burden them... try talking to your best friend... pull them aside one day or invite them over and sit them down and just talk with them, (ask them if you can talk first) if your lucky your friend will be able to offer advice or at least give a damn (they should if theyre your besty)... try your local vibe clinic or even text the free text service here and just ask them what to do

Everything is going wrong - friends school home...

2 Replies Last post by my_name_is_matt 2 months ago

my_name_is_matt >> 29/06/2010 6:18pm

My life..... well..

Hello my name is matt i am 17 and i have a lot of friends...
Up untill last month i have been the "class comedian" the "lovable cool guy" but now i feel as though my life is collapsing into nothing, imploding into itself..

I always feel miserable i am distant from my friends. have nobody to talk....

help//

Replies:

my_name_is_matt >> 30/06/2010 5:21pm

Thank you Ashleigh, means alot :)

AshleighC >> 30/06/2010 10:33am

Hey there Matt.

Life can always seem like it is falling apart, and at times, some of us can feel as though its imploding. but its just the feeling of being 'alone'.
Being distant from your friends can sometimes be a good thing, when you need time to yourself and when you don't want to talk to anyone. But if you need people to talk to, dont distance yourself. Allow yourself to talk about it, tel people what is going on. Because bottling things up inside may lead to depression, and trust me from experience, you dont want that.

If things are going wrong at home? Maybe your parents just want to help you, maybe they have noticed that you are feeling down. But only you can know that.
We are always here if you need to talk ok, no one will judge you or tell you what to do. =)

Hope this helps.
Ashleigh x

That angry-sad feeling towards your friends

2 Replies Last post by AshleighC 2 months ago

Litax >> 25/06/2010 9:12pm

Do you ever feel like you're alone?

That all your friends aren't there for you and you can't approach your parents to anything because they'll just tell you to 'snap out' of it.

You want to go to your closest friend, and tell them how you really feel because you know they'll understand you. But you can't. Because you know that it'll just make them think; "Oh shes/hes being moody again."
So you don't tell them, even though in your mind you know you should tell someone how you're feeling.

And when you do, and they tell you things, it starts to feel that their not being genuine, because they had that 'well, looks like I'll have to help them with the impossible again'.

I don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I'm growing distant of my own friends.

Replies:

AshleighC >> 30/06/2010 10:58am

Hey there guys!
You guys arent alone..
I know how you both feel, and it sucks.
People find it hard to talk to others, when they have the mind set of others judging them for what they say and who they are. People dont have a right to judge you, and you have a right to feel ok.
It drives many people crazy and if you keep it bottled up, it wil lead to depression.

Friends who think 'you're just being moody' dont understand. I tried talking to my friends about it, and just by their reaction i could tell they dont understand.

Looking for new people who have been through this, make it easier to talk to.. If you want someone to talk to. I am here. =)
Hope this helps.
Ashleigh x

my_name_is_matt >> 29/06/2010 6:03pm

I have this exact same feeling, you are not alone...

it drives me crazy, It is making me feel as though my friends don't even care.. even though they probably would but i can't find out because i don't want to talk to them about it..

I am all alone..

Bulimia sufferer

Last post by emmarillo 2 months ago

emmarillo >> 29/06/2010 10:48pm

Hi, I've been bulimic for the past year now and really want to get back on track and become my old, healthy, happy self again. I am confused as to where I can go to get this help, so any suggestions would be great. Cheers, Emma.

I like turtles.

Last post by Bishkip 2 months ago

Bishkip >> 29/06/2010 6:23pm

i used to be depressed, everything was going bad with my girlfriend, cause she wasn't nice. so after 2 years, we broke up, i felt like a huge weight was lifted.

:3

please comment

1 Reply Last post by steph - hamilton 2 months ago

kait123 >> 27/06/2010 12:46am

i dont know if i am depressed. i feel as if i am. but i dont know if i should tell my mum cause she probaly wouldnt believe me.i have been going through a hard time in my family. i just want out. im sick and tired. i just feel that my family hates me and im such a let down. please please can anyone help!!??

Replies:

steph - hamilton >> 29/06/2010 12:36pm

heya,
Its best for you to talk to your family and explain what you are feeling and the way you are feeling. The other option would be to answer the questions under the depression tab. Also if you feel you are getting worse i would recommend to seek assistance from a doctor.

Ta, also if you need someone to talk to feel free to message back.

long term grief issues

Last post by bigmidget 2 months ago

bigmidget >> 29/06/2010 9:04am

i have been suffering deppression on and off over the last 5 and a half years since my mothers death and other failures i have personally made, my behaviour now has pushed me away from my family and friends. now i feel alone with nowhere to turn i have seen my gp and been to counselling and left angry and confussed my doctor believes that my best option would be medication combined with more counselling.. i cant see any way out of this problem it feels like im in well over my head.

living well...?

Last post by chocolatefish5 2 months ago

chocolatefish5 >> 27/06/2010 2:54am

As someone who had dealt with depression, highs and lows through what feels like an eternity. I have tried to educate myself about it, learn my triggers and how I can overcome it.
I have always felt that healthy living really helps me to stay on top of things and I still believe it does however I feel like I have to maintain a rather extreme regimine for me to feel ... satisfied..?
All my friends can go out and eat junk food, sit in front of the t.v. all day and they are all happy and healthy.
Why can't I be like that?
Instead i put such pressure on myself it's inevitable I'll crack. I always do sooner or later. and even when I feel llike I'm doing everything in my power to stay on top I can't help put fall...

I feel lost, lonely, worthless, fat and ugly

sometimes i just need someone, to make me less afraid.

3 Replies Last post by chocolatefish5 2 months ago

Kaylaa.x >> 21/06/2010 8:12pm

sometimes i just need someone to talk to
someone to tell me everythings going to be okay.
better, everythings going to be amazing.
someone tangible that i can see and touch...
to need me the way i need them.
but id be happy if i just found someone who would listen and genuinely care. i think im not good enough.

i guess thats what im afraid of, not being enough.
not pretty enough, not smart enough, not tall enough, not happy enough.
so thats what i want, what i need really.
someone, or anyone to know me and tell me im worth it.
to know me and tell me im enough.
but no one ever sticks around long enough to give a damn, and i guess now i sort of push them away. thats what i did to jay.

and maybe that is really pathetic and insecure but im at that point where nothing really matters anymore.
i feel like i could just blow away with the wind and it wouldnt make a differnce to anyone, no one would even notice.
so maybe i should. who knows.
i cant seem to get anything right these days.

Replies:

chocolatefish5 >> 27/06/2010 2:45am

Just wanted to say I can relate. I know how you're feeling. Never feel good enough.. pushing people away... I wish I had the answers.. I'm looking, and I'm trying, everyday I try even if somedays all I can do is get through it, sometimes thats just the best I got. so try, don't give up on yourself. Don't blow away because although it may not feel that way I'm certain people do care, hell I don't even know you and I care.
life is a rollercoaster, and the down spells make you appreciate the highs so much more, You'll come up

Kaylaa.x >> 27/06/2010 12:12am

yeah, your probably right. thanx.

wolfie17 >> 22/06/2010 12:56pm

i can relate to you in the feeling not worthy... not good enough... and to be honest it sucks, most people will just say 'whining about it doesn't solve anything' (if only it were that easy)and i know times seem tough, i have to scrape together every shred of my being to survive each day... you sound almost lonely... like you just want someone to love that will love you back, i don't know if that's true but that's how i feel and i get the same feelings as you, not worthy... don't blow away with the wind though, although it seems like no one would care there is always someone that would care, even if it was just some stranger you would still be missed... everybody has a place in the world it just takes time to find that place and there is someone out there for everybody, it just takes time to find them...

Any one else?

9 Replies Last post by Ellena-kate 2 months ago

fmlfmlfml >> 13/06/2010 5:39pm

Just wanting to know if anyone else feels like this. Does anyone feel nearly fine when theyre with their friends and just hanging out away from home but as soon as your alone with just yourself you feel like it all comes back and its almost unbearable? but as soon as your with your friends again you think its all gone and your better, but then as soon as theyre gone and you have to face your real self it all comes straight back? :/

Replies:

Ellena-kate >> 26/06/2010 2:01pm

Hey I know exactly how you feel I feel the exact same way, sometimes I just feel like I need someone to love me that I can love aswell, like I dunno maybe a boy or something that could make everything better? If you feel like talking to anyone that feels the same way i'm here to talk :) x

Jay_JWLH >> 26/06/2010 5:10am

Been there. Done that. And it SUCKS. But feelings like that doesn't always have to be there. As my life changes from good, to bad, and in between, it varies considerably. Plus I don't necessarily feel good after a good day.

As I recall, I would spend one day hanging out with one of my friends in town, but after being alone at home for an hour, I just felt horrid. My best explanation is that I was suffering from withdrawals or something like that, but somewhere along the lines I just have to teach myself to look after my own mental health by keeping it real, and keeping it positive. Once I find something interesting to occupy myself with, I spend less time over thinking stuff, and then the day is finally over. Next day, I've effectively found out my own best way to cope with my feelings.

fmlfmlfml >> 23/06/2010 9:53pm

Thanks to everyone :) helps alot. and to "cookiez123" thanks, and if you want someone to talk to im here too :) x

Alelei >> 18/06/2010 8:27pm

aw hey thanks.

cookiez123 >> 20/06/2010 8:01pm

Hi there,

Your definetley not alone. I thought i was the only one that felt that way. I have an amazing supportive boyfriend and when im with him and his family and a couple of our friends i feel like life is perfect and everything i wanted it to be, but as soon as i go back home to my family - back to the struggle and hardships we're dealing with i feel so upset, down, embarrased & all alone.

You're not alone. If you wana friend to talk to im here.

fmlfmlfml >> 17/06/2010 9:01pm

HEY :) to both of you. its nice to know that im not the only one :D and to Alelei "hi" thanks fr the support, im here if you want to talk or say hi too :) x

fellie >> 17/06/2010 7:45pm

Happens to me all the time, although lately i sometimes feel it even with my friends, but it's easier to push it away for a bit when they are around

WHYME! >> 15/06/2010 7:58pm

yes i know how u feel on that one it happens to me :)

Alelei >> 14/06/2010 12:56pm

Heya.
Oh my gosh. You are definately not alone on that one. I know exactly how you feel. Just like when im around my friends at school, although i ahave like hardly any friends at all, everything seems ok. But when I get off the bus and go home, I feel all alone & empty inside. If you wanna talk or say hi i'm here for you. Alelei (: x

People get treated 'better' with Goodlook? Agree? Disagree?

2 Replies Last post by Jay_JWLH 2 months ago

KJ >> 01/06/2010 12:13am

Hey well Basicly i have LOW self-esteem. Im going crazy with my money; spending it on hair removal, IPL (Pigmentation-freakle remover),Orthadontics(Venners), Whitening, Permamnent Eyeliner. and have done several detoxes and i know once i turn 18 who knows what il do next
And the thing is im still Hideous,

Iv always thought people with good looks get treated better, more attention, confidence and have a bigger social circle.

And its not fair.
I dont like to come across as overreacting but this is over taken my life and has left me depressed, Sleepless, SHY, Body consious with eating disorders included

I cant explain.
HELP.
pleeeaaasseee :(

Replies:

Jay_JWLH >> 26/06/2010 5:03am

This whole "good looks" thing, its not all cosmetic and being the most popular. Personally, I think screw it to girls who think they are popular and all up themselves. What every girl needs to be is themselves. Maybe a nice smile and clear skin might get the attention of a guy such as me from ten meters away, but all that superficial stuff wears off quickly if you aren't as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Things like confidence, personality, and common interests, those things will get you somewhere in life. Once you get somebody hooked into talking to you, it could just about not matter how bad anybody looks.

Definitely slow it down with all that cosmetic stuff, and if you can, get some impartial advice on that. By that I mean find somebody who can give you the truth about what you are doing with all those cosmetics. Surely you have no need for all of it. In fact, you could be overdoing it. Focus less of your time, effort, and money and how you look. And spend more of it being you.

Lets discuss me for example. If I am to look for a friend, or a GF, I am quite happy with some girl who looks after herself, but she doesn't have to go over the top. In some cases, I even admire a girl who looks good naturally. It means she will look just as good in the morning as I see her then. And if she were to pretty herself up, even better! Same goes for guys. In fact anybody who takes care of themselves should be worth building up a relationship with. But that's about the best you have to do... look after yourself. Then the rest is social. Are you up to the challenge? :)

AshleighC >> 24/06/2010 9:28am

Hey there KJ
Truth is people who look 'good' only fit in when they are pressured into doing thisng that they wouldnt normally do. When someone thinks they are 'cool' they are only 'cool' to a certain amount of people. others would think that they are arrogant.. truth is there is probably absolutely nothing wrong with who you were before all of this started. bigger social circles create more attention and although we all think that some of us arent apart of that group, we all have our own 'cool' group of friends. your friends will love you for who you are and not for who you are trying to be. because trust me from experience, trying to be someone your not just makes things worse.. just be who you wanna be and friends will come, and soon enough everyone will want to be apart of your social circle :)

hope this helps..
Ashleigh x

the brick walls truth

Last post by gijokiwinz 2 months ago

gijokiwinz >> 25/06/2010 11:17pm

when people come face to face with you, telling you that you are never going to be good enough, that you should just dissapear your world really has come to a halt. we find you can no longer face that brick wall but you have to turn backwards, walk back into the world you came from, your past. why cant we move on through the bad stuff? and let people in to help us. sometimes the brickwall just isnt fair and it starts to block out the good things in life that we need to keep us going.

any help or advice is much appreciated

1 Reply Last post by randomzz 3 months ago

wolfie17 >> 22/06/2010 1:07pm

long story short... im terribly depressed, im lonely and i cant get over my feelings of worthlessness and self hate, every time i look in the mirror i hiss at what i see (sometimes out loud)and im just having trouble scraping through each day, no one believes me that i am depressed on that level because of the mask i wear... it even fooled my psychiatrist because i couldnt let it down for her... and now my life just feels like the gears are grinding, the current is flowing and i am not fighting it but nor am i being swept away... like a rock anchored to this particular point in life... what do i do?

Replies:

randomzz >> 23/06/2010 4:26pm

you could try counsellin...yes i know you probably already tried that and are sick of hearin it like i am bt it in time aparently its meant to help (yeah great). or you could mayb try gettin assessed by a new psychiatrist and c if you could let your gaurd down to them a little more then you have with your current psychiatrist...or du u have a key worker with a cell phone you can text him/her on ive found textin is alot easier. also writtin down how you are feelin can help to and plannin what you are goin to say etc. also tryin to work out the reason y you have this mask up hiddin how you are truely feelin can help to becoz it sounds like its doin you more harm then good.

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