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lost for 3years

Last post by lost_love 23 hours ago

lost_love >> 29/07/2010 1:49am

; hey guys,
so here goes..

in the past i may have not been th best person out, i had lost my father 3 years ago and it hasnt been the same since.. for one ? my 1st cousin tells me 3 days later that its my fault he died ? :( pretty much what made me feel like a failure. thats just the beginning my sister was really close with my dad, that when he pased away she had changed so much, i did everything to help her :( put my life on the line FOR HER. she was stealing cars and breaking the law stuf like that i didnt want to see her like that :( 2 years later ? she fell pregnant to a guy who she thought loved her ? but he didnt even want to know her after she told him, she was really down which made me frustrated and depressed. and the second thing is, a few months after my dad passed on, my uncle rings to say all this stuf to me because him and my aunty had had a fall out ? and he rang me to tell me that hes my father. i was really upset that i disowned my mother, because i felt as if she lied to me my whole life. and i grew up knowing my father, and hes the one that passed away :( 3rd thing was ? i had moved into my aunties house a year later. and it was good things were looking up i got myself back on track by enrolling myself into a school, until 5months later ? some girls jumped me after school. and so i left :( not long after that ? the aunty i had moved i had a bad experience, :( which then led me back down my track. iv lost so many family and friends that im feeling really lonely :( and all i want to do is help people out :( not knowing i need to help myself :( .. it took me another year to try get back on track i ended up moving to australia with my partner, for 2 months and it was really good, i got a job and everything :) until i had a fall out with his aunty which wasnt a big deal, but i did end up moving to melbourne with my dads brother. it was fun while it lasted so much stuff went down at that house it got me thinking, im nothing without my family back home, and im just a failure :( so i came back home after 2months in melbourne, anyway 3 years ago i had met my partner who loved me who i felt i could live with for the rest of my life. and still do this day, about a week ago ? he had broken up with me because i had got angry at him because he went to a party and ended up doing (what guys do); and i found out, i got angry thats all i mean who wouldnt right ? iv never cheated on him between those 3years i did everything for him, i chose him over my family :( i moved away from my family to be with him :( EVERYTHING you name it, i did it :( now to this day, i feel like my whole life is just going to remain FAILED, not sure if that made sense ? but oh well. im really upset and im really low i dont eat i dont sleep, right now its 2:00am and im not the slightest bit tired. the earliest iv slept would be 3:00am because i cant stop thinking about how much of a failure i am ? and im really still in love with my ex. i want him back so bad that its gotten to the point where i feel im not wanted here anymore, i have family to live for ? but nothing works for me, im so upset i cry every night, i do stuff to keep my mind off of things, but itl just come back to me :( im sory if this is a long "topic" but i really need help so bad :( :( please have the time to read this :( thanks alot ..

UNKNOWN

panic

2 Replies Last post by Rach X 1 day ago

thatguy123 >> 28/07/2010 11:45am

i feel really panicy at random times during the day, and i dont know why. its real scary for me because i dont know whats going on

Replies:

Rach X >> 28/07/2010 8:27pm

Hi there
I was experiencing panicy symptoms to. For me I would vomit. However, I havent had an attack in three months. First I would go to your doctor. I know this is a scary step, one which I took and it has now changed my life. I also found that visualising your favourite place helps. Or do things that help you relax. Another thing you could do is talk to a counsellor?
Hope this helps

Falcon >> 28/07/2010 4:08pm

It sounds to me that your are experiencing what is called anxiety. While it is a disorder there is usually a trigger behind it. Even if it is not something that is happening at that exact moment, it might be something you are thinking about. You should talk to a counsellor or your GP and they will be able to help, either through talking or if necessary medication to control it.

It is a horrible feeling, but know you are not alone.

Take care.

I feel like something is missing

2 Replies Last post by AshleighC 2 days ago

xSarahx >> 07/07/2010 11:12pm

I dont know what it is but it feels like there is a bottomless pit in my tummy I hate it and it makes it very hard to get over what I'm going through because it's like I can't see the light.

I just want someone or a group of people who underdstand me and are will to have a chat.

Thanks Guys
Sarah
x

Replies:

AshleighC >> 28/07/2010 10:29am

Hey guys!
you guys helped me on my post so now i'm helping you!

Ellena-kate >> 11/07/2010 6:27pm

Hey Sarah I feel the exact same way, even when something good happens find it hard to feel happy and it makes me scared to feel so empty and hollow. But I know that things are gonna get better and there going to get better for you to, i'd love to talk to you if you need/ want to have a chat let me know :)
Love Ellena xx

Anyone That Can Help? Please!?

4 Replies Last post by AshleighC 2 days ago

AshleighC >> 30/06/2010 11:02am

What do you do?

When the guy that you have loved for 3 years, leaves.
When things never go right, and every night you cry because you have no one?
When people act like your friends, and then leave you because of rumours being spread.
When you suffer from depression, and no one cares.
When you have no support?
When your parents are too busy to even ask you how your day was?
When you feel not wanting in your house because you do everything and never get any credit for it?
WHEN YOU ARE ALL ALONE AND FEEL LIKE FADING AWAY TO NOTHING,

Please help me!

Replies:

AshleighC >> 28/07/2010 10:24am

Hey guys!
Thank you so much for the help. its good to know that some people actually care.
X

Ellena-kate >> 11/07/2010 8:34pm

Hey guys- sarah
I agree with you it feels so much better knowing other people are going through the same things, but other people who haven't experienced sometimes don't understand and it can make you feel even more alone, I'd love to talk to you if your free sometime :)
x

xSarahx >> 07/07/2010 10:55pm

Hey Guys,
I feel exactly the same too I often feel very alone and if I try to tell someone they say "oh, but you're not." People don't seem to understand that sometimes just because something seems one way I feel totally different.

It's really comforting to know that there are people like me because it makes me feel less alone. It's hard because I've tried the talking to someone but it never seems like they understand bacause they have only learnt it in school they haven't experienced it (in most cases).

I'd love to chat with you guys at some stage if you have the time.
Sarah
x

Ellena-kate >> 07/07/2010 4:58pm

Hey Ashleigh, I can so relate to everything that your going through I know EXACTLY how you feel, when you feel so alone and sometimes you can't take much more, you commented on my topic a while back and I found it really helpful, if you'd like someone to talk to i'd love to have a chat with you and help you out, your not alone :) let me know if you'd like to talk
Ellena xx

Starting anew

Last post by BexyVII 2 days ago

BexyVII >> 28/07/2010 3:00am

Hey

I was told by a school counciller i had depression 2 years ago but i think it has been going on longer than that now.
At first i could cope with it and had some of my close family and friends write in a notebook all the good things they could think about towards me so when i felt down i could read it. This helped alot.
But alot of things have changed now last year i kept myself distracted alot with clubs and events going on i don't have any of that anymore because i don't go to school.
I auditioned for dance schools last year in aux and wgtn and worked extremely hard to get in i told my best friend to aswell so we auditioned together. My best friend got into a school in aux and i didn't get in, i was devastated because i worked my ass off and they didn't care too much at the time.

I then decided to go to university and atleast do something, it is interesting but i just don't seem to care. The last few months my body has been telling me to sleep more than i need to and i even get upset at work now even though i try to hide it (i have a good job that is ment to be fun most of the time).

All my friends from school are atleast half an hour away from where i live and my bf (who i live with now) is started to run out of things to try and cheer me up. Its got to a point now where i need another friend just to talk to atleast, i booked a counciller but they can't have me in for 3 weeks.

I get upset over the smallest things and when someone gives me criticism or i make even a small mistake i beat myself up about it.

What now?

how to get better without stopping?

1 Reply Last post by ShasowShinto 2 days ago

isitjustme >> 22/07/2010 7:43pm

I have felt totally lost for a while now but i feel i can't get better and keep my life going. I feel like i need to just drop everything for ME but i have a job and kids and i have to keep everything going. i am on a treadmill going nowhere. I feel like everybody in my life wants a piece of me and i am drained...My work wouldn't care and they'd probably just make me (cough)"redundant" but i need to pay the mortage. how do i lessen my commitments without jeoperdising everything?

Replies:

ShasowShinto >> 28/07/2010 1:23am

how would your family cope if you wernt there any longer, sometimes you need to put yourself first. Sure it would be hard for your family to cope without your monetary imput, but there is financal help for people who seeking treatment.

Your family needs you in fighting form.
so put yourself first, if not for yourself then for them.

much love
Shasow

person

Last post by Michi 2 days ago

Michi >> 27/07/2010 5:48pm

Hello i am 17 about me is im not good at school i am not able to analyse data in english about accurate ways of speaking i am year 13 but i do year 11 work struggling to ncea i enjoy things japanese and special i love soft and gentle things i enjoy seneric views, flowers, sewing, art, lisening to background music like the telstraclear weather channel music and watching shortland street along with anime (japanese cartoon by the way im not japanese i just like thier culture)

my problem i have asperges syndrome(look it up on wikipedia) which makes me talk a bit strangely which makes it hard to live my life and get out in the open, im so shy timid and quiet because when i talk alot of people around me are very judgemental and are expecting me to be a chaterbox when i can get into big discussions but when i talk to even someone really friendly and someone ive known for a long time i still can never know what to say so to a starnger as well as aquatence's im shut out of everything but when i do talk people kindof like me a little then see me become strange (asperges) and push me out i am 1 of the most hated people of everyone.
at my old school i had a mental illness and very sick things happened that allmost everyone who was around and knew what it was would think is the most disgusting thing ever so everyone at my school laughs at me and mark me down as a freak i put that behind me and have gone to a more supported school its a whole lot less depressing but im still quite well hated i have no friends(not 1) so because of my character there is a wall stopping any connections and im still looking for happiness but too many people are just cruel and critising so not many would accept me as they expect someone fun

the past!

1 Reply Last post by tpfh 2 days ago

chash687 >> 15/07/2010 6:05pm

hey, im 19 yo male, for about 8 months ive been feelin crap...like the bottomless pitt feelin... and there are times where i feel great (normal) and times where i feel like "whyyy" (now), does any1 else feel this way?

its like stuff that i done in the past (dumb kid stuff) has come back to haunt me, feels like i gta watch every little thing i do now..also things bout the past which i tried repressing have all taken a toll on me.. and its really gettin to my head somehow, uni has started again and i really dont wna be down for this period. :(

hope you all are finidin solutions to ur cases.
i think this site is great btw..

thanks!

Replies:

tpfh >> 27/07/2010 3:49pm

well you could do what some people do write it down and burn it or tell a member of your family because they would understand that you where a kid back then and that you have grown uo aye , we ALL do things we regret i know i have .. when i was little i found a ring at the swimmimg pool i put it on and went out to my mates and made up this whole story about how it was mine but on the way back to skwl i threw it away cose i felt bad and when we got to school a note went around sayn someone lost there ring that there bf gave them and my mate told my techer i had one like tht and then they sereached my bag and i lied and said i didnt have it and that i must have droped mine .... the lady found the ring but still this day i feel realy bad about it but i cant change it i can only admit tht what i did was wrong and i shouldnt have done it ...what i'm trying to say is that aslong as you know that what you have done is wrong then your the only one making yourself feel bad so go own up or think of something that can make it better :)

my gf

2 Replies Last post by AshleighC 2 days ago

randy9000 >> 14/07/2010 9:38am

my gf told me she doesnt love me or our son any more.
is this normal, any advice would be great.

Replies:

AshleighC >> 27/07/2010 2:29pm

Hey There!
Woah, sounds like she is a bit confused about somethings.
Sure she may want to feel like that at times, cause alot of women feel closed in, but i dont think that is any excuse to tell you she doesnt love you or your son. Do you think maybe if you talk to her, she will tell you why she said that? Maybe something had happened that was unrelated to family, that she just snapped. But in saying that, you also has to be careful that she hasn't been acting unusual, or different to every other day? maybe there is something seriously upsetting her..
Just talk to her, and if things get worse we are always here to help.
Kia Kaha, Hope this helps
Ashleigh x

Shana >> 14/07/2010 3:35pm

I think your missus might be going through a bit of depression i say you might need a brake, because she could start to hate you and I mean take your son with you too so she doesn't start to resent him, she could have anything from post natal depression to severe depression and you don't want to push her to the point where she is gonna hate the both of you, it is not normal for a mother to talk like that about her child if she means it, and post natal depression can follow one week after birth or one year, I say give her some space to breath on her own so she know what she really wants and if it's to the point she doesn't want to be with you, let her go because you'll be in a relaitonship of hate and resent and it'll all be a lie.

Hope this helps sorry if it sounds harsh I don't mean too.

My life story

1 Reply Last post by AshleighC 2 days ago

BFMV >> 25/07/2010 6:13pm

My life is so stupid! it's so boreing goto school with the same old freinds. Get depredesd everyday, it makes it even worse that my gf dumped me and will not do much, she is VERY close to my mate right in frount of my eyes :( everything in life just gets worse and my day never ends, i just want to be in my room alone wherer i cant get hurt, i never want to come out, life is so full of pain.

Replies:

AshleighC >> 27/07/2010 2:21pm

Hey There!

Life isnt as bad as it seems, trust me from experience. But it sounds like there is alot going on in your life.
Did your GF say why she broke up with you? And this 'mate' of yours, do you think she likes him?
Sounds like your life has a lot of unanswered questions and you just need to find some light.
School is boring to everyone, heck I am possibly failing because i never pay attention. Its just something that many people feel.
Locking yourself into your room and never coming out will not help anything, infact it will make it 100 times worse. You need to know that things will not get better if you don't try and fix them.
Start maybe with writing down some of your feelings and emotions before you go to sleep. i know it sounds like such a girl thing, but it honestly helps. Once things are clear in your head then you wil have a better view on things.

Dont forget there is always help here. And if you need someone, i'm here too! :)
Kia Kaha, Hope this helps.
Ashleigh x

my freind is going emo and getting hooked help me help her please

1 Reply Last post by Falcon 3 days ago

kyle1234 >> 22/07/2010 10:44pm

oh hey every1 im really worried for a mate she is one of my best she is 15 and she has completly changed but in a bad way i reallly want to help her can u give me some advice

Replies:

Falcon >> 26/07/2010 6:38pm

Hi there. You don't say what you mean by "going emo", but it is a turn of phrase that should be used very carefully. I could give you a whole comment of why, but that would not help with what you are asking.

To give advice one would really need to know more about the situation, but if you don't feel you can give any more details the best advice I can give is to talk to her and find out what is going on in her life to make her go this way. If you are really concerned for her safety then you need to talk to an adult you trust (yeah I know it's kind of crap advice 'coz it's hard to do and everyone says it)...She may not like it, but in the long run it is a lot better to have an angry friend, than ...well not have a friend.

If I can be more help then I will try my best. I've been there myself.

Take care.

My Mum makes me feel bad.

Last post by Stuckinarut 3 days ago

Stuckinarut >> 26/07/2010 3:57pm

Im now 16 and my mum has decided to do more for herself. But now that she has she doesn't do her role as mum anymore. I have to go to school, clean the house and work everynight. She is always "borrowing" money off me and never pays it back. She gets in fights with the family all the time and now Im isolated from them. She is contionously changing religions which confuses me and alters my lifestyle all the time. I recently suffered from depression but I feel it's coming back. Im so stressed that I feel like Im living with a constant headache and I just want to get angry and scream it all out. I have no one now to talk to. I try talking to my mum but she never wants to listen. She is continosly blame me for everything that goes wrong in her life and its just getting too much. When I try to ask for help she accuses me of being jealous of her new lifestyle. I need advice to get out of this rut because I'm at breaking point. Please help.

relationships suck!!

3 Replies Last post by tpfh 4 days ago

tpfh >> 22/07/2010 5:02pm

why do we always get hurt?!?!?!?!?!?!
i had one boyfriend that meant the world to me ...
i would have done anything for him ... i probably still would :(
he called me disgusting for being depressed :( am i really disgusting?!?!?
i don't want to be like this anymore ....
i'm sick of feeling down .... and being called names
it runs through my head over and over ...
disgusting .. i'm disgusting.....DISGUSTING :(

Replies:

tpfh >> 26/07/2010 11:56am

thanks falcon that means alot to hear someone say that :)

bfmv;
it hurts like hell right ? but i think we can all get passed it :) i'm moving on ... slowly... his memory still haunts my memories .. i smile when i think bout the great times but then it hits me he said he didn't want me that he didn't love me ..... i need to get away from these memories for a while and have a holiday where i have no memories but... i know even then something will remind me of him.... i know what your going through aye :) everyone heals at there own pass no matter what medication your on :)

BFMV >> 25/07/2010 6:06pm

tell me about it, i got dumped and i cant stop thinking about it. i dont love you. it hurts so much

Falcon >> 23/07/2010 9:08pm

You are not disgusting, and I think deep down you know it is wrong of him to say such a thing.
I don't know how old you are, but it can take time for guys to mature and it sounds like he hasn't quite got there yet. Or maybe he just didn't know how to handle it, some people don't.

All i can say is don't believe what he said to be true, and try to believe that you deserve to be treated better, no matter how special what you had was.

Take care.

Self help work books are very good to help you understand

Last post by kittenz 6 days ago

kittenz >> 23/07/2010 7:28pm

Because i have anxiety i dont like taking medication, i have allergies to lot of antibiotics (well most antibiotics lol) and im scared i might have a rection to any pill i put in my mouth so i have chosen to try
and get on top of my depression with out medication, my doctor gave me a self help work book to fill in
and take back to him. When i first read it i went OMG that so makes sence now lol, so i recommend the
work books you can get them from your doctor and they are also so on www.outoftheblue.org.nz

although i highly recomend the work books, you should also get help from your doctor, family and friends
actually being able to tell someone how you feel (no matter how stupid it may sound) helps relieve that
feeling of pressure in you chest :)

Feeling empty and alone,just not happy anymore

3 Replies Last post by kittenz 6 days ago

laurenm17 >> 14/07/2010 1:21pm

About 3months ago I started taking antidepressants and haven't noticed any difference....actually feel worse.

Moved to NZ in 2001,made some friends at school but still wasn't very happy and had friends but no one who really understood how I felt. I tried to tell people but they just told me I'd get over it...it's just a phase.

Now I'm married,working full time and have no friends as I had a falling out with my friends who weren't very good friends anyways. My husband is making new friends and is very happy but I'm not and it is affecting everything I do.

My life is actually really sad, I don't have any friends, I don't like my career/work and just feel lost in general.

I have been so alone for such a long time I'm not even sure how to make friends anymore. I have friends but they're alot older. I think I would feel better about myself if I had friends to hang out with but not sure where to begin....

If anyone could help I would really appreciate it, I'd like to start feeling happier again as I am making everyone miserable around me :(

Replies:

kittenz >> 23/07/2010 7:01pm

hey....well i went to see my doctor when i was 15 about chest pains i was getting they done an ecg and told me nothing was showing that i was just muscle spasims.....but it was about 8mths ago i just couldnt cope anymore and i was seeing my nurse to have my blood pressure done because of some weight loss pills i was on and all she said was how have you been and i guess i couldnt pretend evething was ok anymore , i just started crying and told her everything, she made me an appointment to see my doctor who told me i suffer from anxiety and said to get counsiling to help me control it, but nut counseller wanted me to go back to my doc because she was concerned that i was also depressed, and sure enough i do, i know what you mean by one minuet you fell so happy and the next minuet u want to curl up in a ball and cry.

laurenm17 >> 19/07/2010 9:56pm

I didn't think anyone would reply to me as there are so many people out there struggling with this illness. Thanks for replying to me :)
I think I've had it for a long time but just haven't admitted it.
I feel really strange most of the time, I'm feeling happier and then suddenly a real come down and feeling extremely low and worthless and get really snappy at my husband and then he gets angry at me and then I feel worse :(
Doesn't help that I don't have any friends anymore and I don't have anyone around me who really understands how I'm feeling.Someones I burst into tears for no reason and find it really difficult to get up for work in the mornings just want to sleep all the time.

How did you find out that had anxiety and then depression?

kittenz >> 16/07/2010 10:10pm

hey if you want someone to talk to, talk to me on this board, i have had anxiety sinice i was 15 and have problems with depression at the moment, i sure could tell u some stiories about my anxiety that would make u laugh lol

Welcome to our latest member: Ashley939