I'm really upset and have been crying non stop for 90 minutes or so. I feel like crap often but this is the worst I've felt in a long time, I hate where and who I live with for multiple reasons and don't see things getting better any time soon. I am going to try move to my dad's house but if it does not work I don't know what other options I have anymore.
Im so so depressed. my mums making it so much worse.
3 RepliesLast post by shaelucy 9 hours ago
shaelucy >> 15/09/2014 7:21pm
my mum is only talking to me if it is to order me to do things- or being paranoid about everything I do and watching over me like a hawk, thinking if I have some privacy, I will be doing somethiing I shouldnt. I used to keep a diary which she constantly read so I had to give it up. When im not here she goes through everything so i cannot keep any private possesions. She makes me tell her my phone passcode so she can look through me messages, my facebook password and my email password. I was crying today because she was being horrible to me, she said to me 'stop being such a pathetic girl and having to cry about everything. grow up and toughen the hell up'. i find it so unfair... she knows i was diagnosed with depression at the doctors... she knows how hard gettng through the school day is for me.. she knows i find a 12 hour day hard.. yet she still treats me with no respect or trust and sometimes cruely. I dont know what to do. I dont have my family support anymore. she says i need to do much better at school and everything in general- though i try so so hard. i dont know what to do. I m so depressed
eccentricrabbit >> 16/09/2014 4:41pm
Has she always treated you like that? Invading your privacy the way she is currently doing? :(
shaelucy >> 16/09/2014 8:05pm
yes, gotten much worse during my teenage years though.
1 ReplyLast post by dazedandconfused 2 days ago
dazedandconfused >> 15/09/2014 12:27pm
I am not sure whether i am having a fair rating to my struggles or sending myself into depression. I have a number of illnesses which cover the "symptoms" of depression and have just lost either the support or trust of everyone i counted on. For the first time in my life i don't know what to do next or if will be ok. Suggestions would be wonderful
2 RepliesLast post by wozzybear 6 days ago
Billy >> 22/05/2014 11:17am
Every now and again I have a breakdown and the next day or so later i am happy as Larry and then over the next week or 2 i start feeling lonely and down and then ill start crying for no good reason. Then i try to talk to someone about it and I cant say anything, no words come out. So i end up leaving it at that and I will come right again??? Its just a vicious cycle.
wozzybear >> 11/09/2014 9:02am
I too feel exactly what you said it is a viscious cycle but I tell you what with patience and belive me you need it regular excerice and someone just to give you a hug you will feel better but go and get help.
bored of everything.
1 ReplyLast post by colove 8 days ago
colove >> 08/09/2014 8:16pm
I don't have depression, I have been having trouble with anxiety this year, but lately I have just been getting bored of going to school, going home and over thinking and having such a bad look on things. can anyone help? I don't want to get so sad and unhappy it leads to depression.
1 ReplyLast post by ghostgirl31 10 days ago
ghostgirl31 >> 06/09/2014 10:01pm
I am lost and very sad
7 RepliesLast post by Leee 11 days ago
justmethankyou >> 03/06/2014 1:03am
Firstly, just wanna say how I feel for everyone here. I kinda feel that we should keep chatting, simply because that alone can make one feel better.
Anyway, my issue is how I constantly feel like a disappointment. Feel like a failure. People look at me and my life and they dont see it. They see me smiling and just getting on with life, but deep down, I am always making mistakes and I feel useless.
Does anyone else feel like that?
bestrong. >> 14/08/2014 10:45pm
yes alot!but you are not a disappointment, you should remind yourself everyday how strong as a woman you are, youll get through this
limeyman >> 14/08/2014 11:37pm
I do feel like that from time to time. I often mask it with a happy face.
VoodooBunny >> 18/08/2014 11:33pm
I used to feel like that a lot. I'd berate myself constantly for every tiny mistake, saying how it showed I wasn't good enough and that i was a useless person. But I've been trying my best recently, so nothing's happened that's caused me to feel like that. I suppose that if it makes you feel better to acknowledge the self-worthlessness, then by all mean just go ahead and do it, because that's what i did. But if that only brings you down, try reminding yourself that you're doig you're best, and that's all anyone can ask of you.
Elsdon >> 22/08/2014 12:56pm
Kia ora all. Thanks for addressing this issue. Well firstly I feel I can relate well to this. It's a constant running theme in my own pakanga (battle) with this tyrant of a taniwha called depression. Since the offset and trigger of my depression I was up until that time content somewhat with my life and where I was going. I don't know how but extreme disappointment and shame grew on me following my 'first episode'. All of the other associated negative feelings accompanied their friend Disappointment; Regret, Failure, Guilt, Worthlessness, Hopelessness and Loser.
It's still a re-occuring theme set in my mind that I try to make disappear by positive self-affirmations. Other's know that I'm not a disappointment nor am I a lacky of any of Disappointment's friends. I use to avoid those I felt I'd disappointed which really felt like the world but this only gave way to more depressive feelings. Gradually though, one by one, I've faced those people, who were only actually in 'my' world, addressed those feelings and honestly felt a sense of achievement.
And friends I believe that we know ourselves how to bust our own disappointments not by sweeping them under the carpet or pretending that they don't exist but by acknowledging them, addressing them and then tossing them into the ipu para (rubbish bin) coupled with positive self-belief systems and affirmations.
I know I'm not in the clear yet, I have set backs all the time but I'm encouraged by my own progress and that of others alike. Thanks for reading and I wish you all well.
kaayla >> 31/08/2014 11:49am
I feel exactly the same. Im 18 and I go to uni.. well supposedly, i am hardly ever there. At high school i had alot of friends, i was the floater, i was friends with everyone i would just go around and hang out with different people. But since i started uni i have lost contact with all my friends we hardly ever talk because everyone has found new friends. But me, i havent made any at uni. My uni is only small and my class only has 30-40 people and none of them i feel i could connect with. I hung out with some girls at the start of the year and they were so fake, and i dont like that i prefer to be myself rather then pretend to be smeone else just to make friends so i stopped hanging out with them. The only person i really is my boyfriend. I wag uni, i pick him up from his course, i ask him to do things with me and when he wants to do things with his friends, i get really sad and mad at him because i dont want him going out with his mates. I feel so bad and selfish but yet i do it everytime. He is the nicest guy but i treat him so badly and it is ruining our relationship. I also lie to my parents about how i feel, i lie about uni i tell them its good, i tell them i pass my assessments when really i get low grades and have failed one paper. I feel like a failure, i am always in trouble from my mum, for the littlest things, i cry alot, i lie o the ground and just stare into space. I just feel down and wish i had some people or friends to hang out with or talk too. But the main thing is that i feel embarrassed and so selfish i feel like this isn't a big deal. I know this is long but yeah, i feel for you guys hope all is well xx
Leee >> 06/09/2014 1:57am
I understand. I can relate. I get that feeling that when I am alone I'll cry it out, whisper to try reassure myselfs but when daylight hits or I am out and about (not alone) I become this...robot. Smiling like everything is just peachy and fine...when really deep down...so far down inside I feel like I'm breaking apart bit by bit. It sucks. I want to be a stronger person..but most of all I want to be a stronger mother!
Am I depressed or what?
1 ReplyLast post by Leee 11 days ago
Leee >> 06/09/2014 1:52am
Ever since I've had my baby girl @ 17 years old have I've been noticing these feelings...Don't get me wrong I love my baby girl more than anything. She makes me smile no matter what...but when I'm alone it I start to drown in my own inner emotions...
I can't concentrate on school work!
I can't think clearly!
I cry when I think of my 'friend' who barely have visited me or asked me how I am since having baby!
I feel so alone in the friend department!
And to top it off I left my babies daddy a while back and I don't regret it but I do find it hard being a single mother!
Some nights I cry just thinking of this all...I feel like i'm really letting down my parents and my baby girl somehow. I feel like I'm this thing that is barely holding it together only for her little family.
What I saying is that without my daughter...well, I don't think I'll be able to handle it being alone...the stress and expectations and feeling unloved or uncared for is taking its toll on me every minute...every second.
Just saying all this feels pathetic. Maybe I should just stop dwelling...and just think about my baby. Just thinking of her has made me smile, She is most definetly my lifeline.
Down and out
1 ReplyLast post by Cushy 15 days ago
Cushy >> 01/09/2014 8:51pm
I went through a break up almost over a year ago now where I was the one who decided to break it all off after 7years.
At the time I thought it was the right thing to do and I quickly found myself seeing someone else to fill the gap.
To add to the trauma I lost both my pet dogs not long before I broke up with my bf, this affected us both greatly but especially me as I am extremely passionate about animals.
Anyway it seems that only now I have realized that I wish I never lefty partner of 7years and wish I done more to make our relationship work. At the time I had just had enough I always having to work around him and what he wanted to do. Everything we did was around him really. We are still friends as keep in touch and we did briefly talk of getting back together we meet up a few times he would say he was keen then he decided he couldn't do it and that shattered me yet again. I thought I was getting over things but I just seem to always dwell on the past now an wish I did things differently and I blame myself all the time that I never should have left him and how could do that to him etc etc. He never treated me badly or anything like that. He now has a new partner which stirred up more emotions, we had a new dog together when we broke up which he kept but he lets me have him on weekends when I feel like it which was great but now I feel like I can't see our dog anymore as I don't want to seem like the old gf that couldn't let go. He said I can still get the dog when I want but I don't know if I should anymore? The guy I started seeing soon after my break up is still in the picture and we are currently seeing each other still but he does not know how I feel and does not know I get upset over my ex etc. I currently have chronic fatigue which stemmed from having glandular fever recur for almost 2 years, this obviously doesn't help my situation either and makes me feel worse some days. Because of this I have no energy to exercise hardly anymore and I no longer like my body or the shape I am in,when I do try to exercise I just get rundown and I always feel tired. I am on supplements to help me and b12 injections to help boost my energy levels I have felt better since taking these but I need help with dealing on my grief I guess from my dogs and breakup. I should be over it by now and move on like he seems to have but for some reason I just can't and I hate feeling so upset sometimes it almost hurts if that's a way of describing it? Some days I feel good and then others something will trigger and old memory or something and I start feeling sad again. I have rambled on enough now but just thought I would see if anyone can give me some advice on how they may have dealt with situations where they have felt like I do. There is a lot to my story but this is the basic low down anyway.
Don't know who to talk too anymore
1 ReplyLast post by Mersay 27 days ago
Mersay >> 20/08/2014 9:55pm
I don't know who to talk too anymore I find it hard to trust people I've hidden myself from everyone.