Everyday I wake up to brush my hair in front of the mirror, I ask myself "who is this "person" in the mirror?" (Sorry for the swearing) My life is always ruled by others. The tunnel I fell into is only getting deeper.I'm afraid I won't find a way out. I tried everything the guidance counselor told me, it's not working. She was talking about putting me into "support of a mental health team ". But I'm not certain if it would work. I self harmed 3 times already. I feel even more low because I have no one to confide to.
1 ReplyLast post by soni17391 2 days ago
soni17391 >> 17/04/2015 9:47pm
Solo mum, studying full time. Constantly treated like a dole bludging lower class drug addict.
Don't smoke, drink or socialise. Have no family support. Diagnosed depression and anxiety.
I feel like society is against me.
too much thinking
1 ReplyLast post by rockchick101 13 days ago
rockchick101 >> 07/04/2015 2:03am
long history of depression and work in health care. i give my heart to everyone but i am not self caring very well at the moment and am not sure how to drag myself out of my hole atm. im 24, depression since 14. does it ever go away? how do people function everyday without this weight and boredom with life? how the hell will i ever reach that balance? i rink i smoke, i work a 24 hour roster, and have no routine. i live in a flat. i dont know how to appreciate my achievements. i think i am just very lonely deep down andd am unsure of what i should do next. i have a hard time admitting when my depression gets the better of me. i feel like work never understands. act like its not an illness but it is and its hard sometimes :( wish i could just leave my head behind
1 ReplyLast post by 92daew 13 days ago
92daew >> 06/04/2015 8:48pm
I've already been to my doctor and she was great and put me back onto my anti depressants I was on a few years ago. Back then I got put on them and also was given anxiety medication too and went to woman's refuge from time to time when I had confidence to do so. I was severely depressed, didn't want to live and wanted the pain to end, I was having panic attacks at least once a day for a couple of months, I couldn't drive, I couldn't work - but I did drink a lot which was a bad idea. Anyway, I eventually felt I was getting okay and didn't need the meds anymore - I came off them and never felt better, I thought it was finally the sun at the end of the tunnel. I was feeling good for about a year or so being off everything which was awesome... But the past 7/8 months it's all been rushing back down, I feel so stressed and so angry (I don't even know why) but I feel it every day. Ive noticed my hair slowly falling out too from all the stress I guess. I've been back on anti depressants so far for over a month - I know they do take a while to start working but I didn't know what else to do - I don't sleep at all and when I do I'm back awake again and my heart races and I start freqking out (I don't know why). So I take half of a sleeping pill when I feel I need it to help me out (not all the time), they definitely help keeping me asleep but I've spent all Easter weekend in my pjs at home doing nothing at all while all my friends are out having fun etc. I don't know where else to go from here - I'm gaining weight which is making me feel even worse about myself but I'm not eating crazy amounts. I have no interest in anything else anymore and I don't know where else to go. I never want to leave my room, especially my bed. I don't see my friends anymore. I hate being at work Or anywhere else other than my home. I'm so tired and I don't know where else to turn. :(
Can't move on from the past
1 ReplyLast post by bpri 19 days ago
bpri >> 01/04/2015 6:14pm
5 years ago I was in a quite traumatic relationship, that was manipulative, controlling, mentally and verbally abusive, lots of infidelity etc etc, the hardest part of the experience for me was knowing that even though I consider myself a strong person, I let it happen to me. He went on to have a really lovely relationship with one of the girls he was cheating on me with, and he didn't display any of the behaviour with her that he did with me. I thought I was over all of this and last week I spent a full day crying on and off about it, and I have no idea why. He never apologised and its like I wonder if I did something to deserve it, or if there is some reason why it was me and nobody else that he treated like that. I just want to forget it all, it breaks my heart that five years later its still hurting me and I just wish I could forget.
How do I get past this?
1 ReplyLast post by Gabriel 20 days ago
Gabriel >> 30/03/2015 8:28pm
Kia ora all, recently I have been made redundant, work is hard to come by, all I am getting is knock backs and it is coming up to the anniversary of my best mates passing. The pressure is getting to me and I do not know where to turn. I am a private person and dont like letting my walls down to let people in. I have tried, but this has failed in the past and I dont want to get burnt again.
I feel like I've been in mental health services too long
2 RepliesLast post by appleslayer13 24 days ago
nobodyelse >> 04/03/2015 9:03pm
I was first referred to youth mental health services when I was 13. I was discharged after maybe a year or so, then referred again a few months later. I'm 17 now. I lived in supported accomodation for youth with mental health issues for just over a year and im moving back home now. I see a psychologist once a week I've been doing dbt for a couple of years now. I'm not on medication but I've tried a few, doesn't seem to help. I feel selfish, like im wasting time. I can't ask my family for support, and I can't really go to my friends because it's not fair to put them in difficult positions. I feel like I should be able to deal with this by now and like a lot of people are expecting me to, but I still feel so depressed, and struggle all the time. what are people's thoughts on this?
appleslayer13 >> 26/03/2015 10:30pm
I have been going to Youth Specialty Services for 4 years and have been taking anti-depressants. It is completely natural to feel selfish but you aren't, it is actually much more helpful for you to be going to see a psychologist than dealing with depression on your own. I would recommend trying an anti-depressant again as it equalizes your emotions to a stable state and also to not beat yourself up about this, it isn't your fault. You should use all the facilities you can until you believe you are ready to go without them.
2 RepliesLast post by appleslayer13 24 days ago
livelifetothefullest >> 17/03/2015 7:58pm
I have been feeling down, scared and usless over the last couple of weeks... I don't know why, but I want
help. The only times where I have felt happy are when I am with my boyfriend and close friend and with
family. I don't know why I feel this way but I do, I feel like I am in someone elses body, not my own, I don't feel like my usual self. I just want help, any ideas to get my spirits back up? or feeling like myself again
appleslayer13 >> 26/03/2015 10:23pm
Thank you for sharing. I would recommend seeing a doctor about these feelings, they are trained and deal with this sort of thing on a daily basis. I thought I was inadequate, I am currently on high doses of anti-depressants and live day-by-day. Seek help and reach out to someone you trust then see a doctor.
like freetxt but for ppl w/o phones?
1 ReplyLast post by judyann 1 month ago
judyann >> 19/03/2015 3:24pm
hey i can't be the only depressed person without a phone, right? like between mental illness interfering with my ability to get and keep a job and my (probably just perceived) lack of friends i just don't have a phone, why isn't there any kind of one-on-one chat system like anywhere on the internet for when like now i'm feeling p scary low but physically. cannot. text or call????
3 RepliesLast post by CannotComplain 1 month ago
MRK >> 22/02/2015 12:27am
I feel pretty lost, confused, and overwhelmed. Feel like I can't cope with the everyday stresses other people do. I want to withdraw but I don't... I open up - friends family but I feel like I'm a drain on them, or they don't seem to understand, or they say the wrong things (which I try not to blame them for, but I guess I do) I feel like they're judging me and I wish I'd never said anything - and then I feel even more isolated and alone. What do I do?
kylie0815 >> 09/03/2015 12:36am
Try to find something that helps to make you feel better like writing or sport. you culd also try calling one of the helplines listed on this website if you need to talk to someone
CannotComplain >> 17/03/2015 4:36pm
I found family not like a open confession book but someone to just sit with and feel warm.. you know, not alone all the time. Family is the best thing you will ever have and yes, i know they are annoying at times, but they are always there, even if its just a phone call away. :) keep smiling